REMO-Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Order

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  • mico62
    mico62 Posts: 164 Forumite
    I realise this thread is a year old but have any of you had any luck?

    I posted papers to county court a month ago, hand delivered a copy 2 wks later and still not had a response.

    Eldest is about to start uni (ex was supposed to pay a set amount until youngest finished school or uni) and I'm having to use his uni fund to pay bills and he can't go into halls as planned so will have a long and costly commute.

    He sent them both 1/2 month's maintenance for their birthdays so I guess they got 2 presents off me. :rotfl:

    Any advice/suggestions greatly appreciated.
  • AnxiousMum
    AnxiousMum Posts: 2,709
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    Oh my goodness PHB - I just saw this thread, and was outraged for you - and then realised from the last poster that this post was an old one - and you have moved on from here!

    Mico - you say you sent your paperwork to County Court - I know when I went through REMO it was Magistrates Court that I dealt with and not county.....I believe PHB also dealt with Magistrates......hopefully just a wrong court typed in your post!

    Where is your ex? I'm dealing with a REMO case that has the NRP in Canada - if I can be of any assistance let me know!
  • Hi Mico, the update is I'm still here and hanging in and waiting patiently for Germany to get off their backsides. There has been letters from the German CSA equivalent asking the Magistrates courts here to answer some allegations that the ex is making to them in Germany. Seems he is telling them all sorts of lies and wasting time, but the good thing for him is it is delaying any financial responsibility outcomes!

    I'm not sure what I think of the whole REMO process at the moment, I only know of one other successful person who's gone through the process, Anxiousmum, my application went to the Magistrates courts in November 2008, but didn't actually land on German soil until April 2009. Its now September 2010 and there have been 2 contacts in Germany with their CSA people/council offices and the ex. I'm hoping that this means his number is almost up, and they have seen through his lies and will sort him out with a hefty court order for child maintenance. One thing that is hopeful that came from the ex's last meeting with the Germans was that he showed them a bank statement of money that he had given to my DD several months ago and the German CSA representative commented that it was much less then he should be paying...haha! (he told them it was child support payments and that he paid it directly to me and regularly, it wasn't. It was his attempt to win favour back from his DD by giving her a 'meagre token' which backfired)

    So, still struggling to pay bills and the extras for my DD, and my daughter too is suffering a financial disadvantage as a result.

    I just can't understand how parents can do these things to their kids. My daughter, who just started college, was walking home from the train station last week and is sure her dad drove right past her, without stopping to talk to her!Bless her, she couldn't understand the depth of his hate for her! He decided several months ago to cut her off, my theory is that it eases his guilt of the way he has behaved and treated her over the past 3 years. I hope he has a miserable life, I think he does. He's got plenty of money, but whats that? I'm beyond caring about the financial help, but it doesn't mean I won't hound him down until there are no more hounds available to chase him. Lol...sounds bitter, but I'm really not. I'm just not the type of person who can walk away from an injustice. Especially when that injustice was directed at one of my children.

    In the meantime we are trying hard to get DD a part time job to help pay for the extras she needs (yes makeup and clothes, but vocational lessons as well) And I too have applied for another job on top of my full time job, so he can take his money and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

    By all means don't give up on the REMO process.

    If it helps, PM me. I've also got dealings with the CSA as my case is pretty complex. Its possible if the REMO process doesn't catch up with the ex, then CSA may be able to.
  • AnxiousMum
    AnxiousMum Posts: 2,709
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    PHB - there's a big difference between being 'bitter' and not being a 'sucker' :)I was a 'sucker' for a year whilst ex didn't pay his child support - has now taken six months to register with Family Maintenance Enforcement in Canada over his non payment, and once they got it all filed though - took a month to get first payment, and now after 3 months, he has apparently made an arrangement to pay the arrears. Had I started the enforcement process earlier, I wouldn't be scraping the pennies to help son go to uni in October - hoping his arrears will start coming in prior to that so that we can pay his first terms accommodation leaving him some of his student loan for him. He's been working so has money saved, but also faces four further years which will not be funded by loans - so we need to think further ahead than just the three years! The money he has earned, he has put aside for those years, and we'd like to know he doesn't have to dip into it as he has a longer term plan than just the coming three.
    However, unlike his dad - who wouldn't go without running costs of his boat, hot tub or sauna....and won't give up his family vacations to his partner's homeland of Phillipines, who won't give up buying all the latest and the best for his 14 yr old step son to try and forge a frienship with him (he should see what the step son says about him on facebook! - makes my kids blood boil) - I will, and have in the past, go without things in order that my children receive what they need. I know not all NRP's are like that........but ours definitely is.
  • mico62
    mico62 Posts: 164 Forumite
    Thank you ladies, its good to know I'm not alone but reading your posts its not going to be as easy as I thought.

    What's really annoying is I've been in touch with the Attorney General's Office and have said as soon as they receive the paperwork they'll enforce the order, they've even given me contact details etc which I've forwarded to the court here. Why are these things so difficult, surely all they need are a copy of the order and details of arrears.

    AM - in answer to your first question I took my paperwork to the Civil and Family court after speaking to the woman who 'deals with maintenance'. My consent order has county court at the top and being a law abiding citizen who's never had reason to visit a court until my divorce I thought they were the same thing :rotfl:

    I think our exes must be related. Mine lives in Texas and has just married his malaysian girlfriend. I came back to the UK 8 years ago after he'd proposed to another woman. He'd started applying for his green card so couldn't leave America and I think he thought I'd leave the kids with him - my visa would be revoked as soon as divorce proceedings were started.

    He finally got his greencard 5 years later and turned up with another woman in tow bearing laptops. He hasn't be back since.

    He hasn't spoken to daughter for ages. She got a 30 second phone call at 11pm on her birthday, you can imagine the comments being shouted in the background from the 7 girls who were here for a sleepover.

    He used to phone son on a Tuesday when he had a late start in 6th form and I've just found out from exMIL that he makes him speak to his girlfriend and her teenage daughters.

    I wish I could tell him to stuff his money but unfortunately I've used it for the kids to meet all their wants and needs, school trips, music and sport lessons, I haven't done what a friend does and save it for my retirement. I've got one about to start uni and another in her GCSE year and they're not cheap to run :)

    One last rant, when I returned we were living in a grotty furnished flat so I lied to the building society about my income to get a mortgage and bought a house. In the divorce it was classed as a matrimonial asset and I had to pay him off or they'd put a charge on the house.

    Taxi duty beckons, son enrols today - the joys of being a parent :j
  • I woudln't be disheartened with my story. I think the American and Canadian system are much better then the Europeon countries.

    Good luck, we'll definately keep this thread going for any updates, and to encourage each other!
  • Hi Guys, I've just stumbled on your thread and registered so I can reply. Its so good to hear that there are others out there going through the same thing. It makes my blood boil that they get away with it.
    My ex who I split up with in 1994 played the CSA system,so I never got a court order in place and then in 1997 he disappeared to Spain and stopped seeing his daughter and send Xmas and birthday cards each year and that has been it since. I was told by CSA that they was nothing they could do as he was no longer living the UK and I would have to employ a Spanish lawyer which would be very costly. From April 1997 until January 2007 I did not do anything as I believed that there was nothing I could do and brought my daughter with no financial support. By chance in January 2007 I read about REMO so I applied through my local court and also quite easily tracked down his address. In the 10 years since he had been out of my daughter’s life he had built up 3 successfully businesses and had made money along the way. I also found out through a contact in Spain that he is quite proud of the fact that he has got away without paying any money all these years.
    I then started the very long and slow process with REMO, I was warned it would take up to 2 years and 3½ years later we are still no nearer. I understand the language barriers involved in dealing with another countries legal system and appreciate that it can take time for documents to be translated but I still don't feel it should have taken this long. REMO refuse to speak to me and will only deal with the courts, the courts receive letters asking for information and they keep hold of them for months before acting on them. It’s very frustrating!! At one point Spain went to serve papers on him and he had moved address and they needed to ask Interpol to track him down. I found out his new address within 24 hours and submitted it to them, that was 18 months ago and still no papers served. REMO will not chase up Spain unless asked by the court in writing to do so and then it’s a case of sending Spain an interpreted letter. I'm sure in this day and age they could be a simpler system and maybe they send an email from a bi-lingual person.
    This man has got away with paying for his daughter for more than 13 years and I don't know if I will ever receive a penny or any back pay, yet he lives in a European country and visits this country at least 4 times a year to stay with his parents and nobody can do anything about it. I used to think it did not matter as it was his loss as he also chose to have no contact with her but as she is nearing 18 and the cost of her upkeep at College falls entirely on me. Not to mention she will hopefully be going to University next year to study Law and all the debt for fees, accommodation, books and living will fall to myself and her, I'm angry that he could affect both of our lives so much. I think the system is so wrong that because I am re-married I am not entitled to any benefits to top up my part-time earnings or help towards University fees because my husband’s income is too high - yet I would never ask him to pay for her, it’s not his responsibility, its another man's who has been allowed to play the system.
    I've just written to my MP so see if she can help. Lets hope judgement day comes for these horrible men :).
  • mico62
    mico62 Posts: 164 Forumite
    I'm not sure whether I've got good news or not. Phoned the Magistrates on Tuesday and was told the person I needed was in court and would phone me back. Phoned today and spoke to someone different who had me on hold for ages and said my claim was on the list and they would phone me back.

    Turns out my application had gone before a judge this afternoon, but my consent order hadn't been registered so they were writing to me for more info. Hang on my divorce cost me £12k, I paid the !!!!!! what I was required to and its not registered give me the number of the solicitors complaints bureau was my response.

    he said its a technicality cos my order was made in the county court and its registered there, but it is legal, I just have to submit some additional info and as soon as they get that it will go back to the judge before being passed to the Lord Chancellor's office who'll forward it to Texas.

    I'm relieved that my letters aren't sat on someone's desk but I'm interested to know what other info they could want, will keep you informed.

    Crawfordcracker - welcome and good luck

    I could've written your sentence 'I think the system is so wrong that because I am re-married I am not entitled to any benefits to top up my part-time earnings or help towards University fees because my husband’s income is too high - yet I would never ask him to pay for her, it’s not his responsibility' myself. coincidentally my son's just started his first year of Law.
  • AnxiousMum
    AnxiousMum Posts: 2,709
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    At least you have the ball roling Mica! I'm just chuckling remembering my day in court here - none of the magistrates knew what to do - as they'd never had a Canadian court order placed in front of them before, or a variation to one requested. I had to basically instruct them what the procedure was - you hear my case, determine whether a provisional order should be granted or not, or amended in some way, and then it goes via Chancellors to the Canadian court system etc. etc. They took a break, obviously got advice, and were profusey apologising to me! They were very very nice, and I received my provisional order that was requested. Keep us posted how it progresses Mica - never know who may need to do it in the future!
  • I'm about to start the REMO process after 7 years of no support from my child's father. He's in the US and so I'm hoping the process won't be too painful. Any advice, tips etc is much welcome.
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