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    • MSE Nick
    • By MSE Nick 13th Apr 17, 12:25 PM
    • 247Posts
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    MSE Nick
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy an engagement gift for my fiance?
    • #1
    • 13th Apr 17, 12:25 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy an engagement gift for my fiance? 13th Apr 17 at 12:25 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My boyfriend recently proposed to me and spent money on a beautiful ring, which I love. He would like me to buy him a wristwatch of equal value as a memento of the engagement, however I've just left my job and we're about to move home so I feel we need every penny for more practical things. Am I being a scrooge?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!

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    Last edited by MSE Luke; 18-04-2017 at 11:16 AM.
Page 6
    • Sadie73
    • By Sadie73 23rd Apr 17, 11:36 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Sadie73
    Thoughts
    I've been with my husband for 30 years and it never entered either of our heads to buy him a gift when we got engaged. He asked me to marry him and we went shopping together to buy a ring for me that we both loved.

    I'm thrilled that he didn't do the down on one knee with a ring in his hand thing as I wouldn't have had a say and almost definitely wouldn't have received the beautiful ring we chose together. Personally I don't know why people think the grand gesture of a man choosing a ring is the done thing, I know too many people who received rings they wouldn't have chosen because they didn't get to help choose an important piece of jewellery that is meant to be worn and loved for the duration of a marriage. My advice would be to choose a beautiful ring together and you will continue to love it.

    On the subject of your fianc! expecting a watch in return for your ring, I'm afraid alarm bells are ringing here and I would be questioning this relationship. I would be wondering what issues might lay ahead in the event of maternity leave, part-time working, redundancy etc. Marriage is meant to be a partnership to last for the rest of your life and money issues can be a source of argument for the most solid couples. If you start off on shaky ground it doesn't bode well to me.

    Incidentally my husband does a manual job and didn't want to wear a wedding ring which was fine by me but we chose a lovely watch for him as a wedding present (because he had lost his old one) which we both felt good about, however there was no expectation on his part.

    I think you need to talk through how you intend to manage your finances before you tie the knot,
    • professor~yaffle
    • By professor~yaffle 23rd Apr 17, 11:47 AM
    • 316 Posts
    • 422 Thanks
    professor~yaffle
    My boyfriend recently proposed to me and spent money on a beautiful ring, which I love. He would like me to buy him a wristwatch of equal value as a memento of the engagement, however I've just left my job and we're about to move home so I feel we need every penny for more practical things. Am I being a scrooge?
    Originally posted by MSE Nick
    Yes, because you've already accepted an expensive gift for yourself, but are now saying you will not reciprocate. This doesn't bode well, as neither of you seem to be good with your money.
    (not a new member, can't access my old account!)
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