My [37M] wife [33F] sulks for 4-5 days almost every time we have an argument

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  • arbrighton
    arbrighton Posts: 2,011 Forumite
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    What a lot of 'i' in your posts.

    I told her

    I won't divorce
  • PeacefulWaters
    PeacefulWaters Posts: 8,495 Forumite
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    Leave her to sulk.

    Carry on with your normal household duties. Make her a drink / wash up / whatever you would normally contribute.

    But don't communicate verbally until she does.

    It's a form of control. So don't change your behaviour to submit to that control.

    I gave up two decades to this sort of nonsense. I'd recommend reviewing your no divorce approach. Unless it's always "time of the month" when it happens.
  • gilbutre
    gilbutre Posts: 434 Forumite
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    PeacefulWaters wrote: »
    I gave up two decades to this sort of nonsense. I'd recommend reviewing your no divorce approach. Unless it's always "time of the month" when it happens.

    I didn't get these two sentences.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,094 Community Admin
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    gilbutre wrote: »
    I didn't get these two sentences.

    I read it as PeacefulWaters finally divorcing their passive-aggressive wife/husband after putting up with two decades of their sulking, and implying you could do the same, providing there are no bona fide medical reasons for the behaviour.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    gilbutre wrote: »
    I didn't get these two sentences.

    Seriously,

    you have problems if you don't get the basics.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    gilbutre wrote: »
    I told her to stop doing that, 5 days feels excessive to me. But she doesn't. I won't divorce for that, we have kids too. Only idea I have is when she comes back to me I tell her "my turn, see you in 5 days". Or maybe I can say 10 days. Apart from that I have no clue how to manage it.

    For heaven's sake - you sound as bad as one another ..."I TOLD her to stop"..... - the pair of you need to discuss your relationship. You have children together - so stop acting like children behave like the adults you are supposed to be. It's not a case of tit for tat.
  • PeacefulWaters
    PeacefulWaters Posts: 8,495 Forumite
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    gilbutre wrote: »
    I didn't get these two sentences.

    Grab a beer and read it again later.
  • balletshoes
    balletshoes Posts: 16,610 Forumite
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    gilbutre wrote: »
    Does it sound normal to you?

    I think out of all of us you'd be the only person who'd be able to judge if its normal for her, after all you know her, we don't.
  • goodwithsaving
    goodwithsaving Posts: 1,311 Forumite
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    We're only getting one side of the story here. You both sound childish, her with the apparent sulking and you with your consideration over how to handle it.

    If your children are young, does she work? Does she feel supported? Does she have a life beyond the family home? Do you listen to her and how she feels? Is she unhappy?

    You get my drift. Talk it out with her not a bunch of strangers who will only side with you. Don't let the resentment build.
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