Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

AspiringButAnxious · 30 July 2015 at 1:30PM

Hi everyone :hello:

I've been lurking on the Debt-Free Wannabe forums for ages and thought it was high time I joined in. I'm also hoping that having my own diary will motivate me to keep going — I've been reading some of the other diaries on here and feel inspired.

About me: I'm 31, single, unemployed and living with my parents. Ain't life great?

After many years of mental illness, I can finally see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. I have depression and borderline personality disorder as well, but my anxiety is my biggest obstacle at the moment.

I got into debt partly to fulfil a lifelong dream and get a BA and an MA. I lived at home while I was studying, but travel expenses and book buying take their toll. As did my chocolate bar habit and learning to drive... I was also prone to compulsive spending (still am, but less so since I have more of a handle on my mental health issues) and made many ridiculous decisions.

The upshot is that I ended up owing several thousand pounds to my parents, over £6,000 on my credit card and a £2000 overdraft. I gradually reduced my debt a little, then was helped by a £2000 inheritance when my grandmother died. However, I was also struggling to keep a car on the road and my beloved dog died a couple of weeks before my grandmother, which was a horrible shock and led to me buying a new dog to give me a reason to live. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true. My old dog kept me hanging on during the dark times and I couldn't face life not only without her, but without any pet of my own.

Anyhoo, I was struggling to pay £60 a month interest on my credit card and make overpayments every month. I slipped into putting more unnecessary purchases on the credit card because I thought "what difference will it make?" I had a LBM at the end of June 2015 and realised I needed to do something drastic.

Since I couldn't get a loan to pay off my credit card, let alone what I owed my parents, I hatched a plan for my parents to take out an unsecured loan for £13,000, covering the £7000 I owed them and my credit card balance. I did the maths and realised it would take me 5 years just to pay off my credit card, without paying a penny back to my parents, if I continued as I was. If my parents took out a loan on my behalf, I could clear the whole debt in 6 years. My parents agreed that taking out a loan was the sensible option — especially as it would relieve them of being £7000 out of pocket. My credit card balance is Nil and, strangely, I'm not even tempted to spend on it.

AspiringButAnxious · 30 July 2015 at 1:51PM

Okay, here's a simple SOA:

Income — £204 every 2 weeks (ESA)

Rent — £80 a month
(Note: this isn't actually rent, but what I pay my parents to cover some of what I cost in utilities and food)

Loan repayment — £200 a month

Other monthly expenses:
Mobile phone sim-only rolling contract: £8.30
Sponsoring a girl in Senegal: £18
(I know it seems ridiculous, but feeling like I'm doing some good in the world has improved my mental health immensely, so sponsorship is worth more to me than it costs)
Dog food, vets, worming, etc: £15 approx

I'm trying to cut down (or cut out) these expenses:
Coke — £4 a week lately
Junk food — I turned vegan 4 months ago and it triggered a junk food binge as I convinced myself there was plenty of sugary, fatty food I could still eat! I think I'm over it, but if I need sugar in future I will *try* to stick to homemade cakes and treats.
Clothes —I don't need any for the foreseeable future and if I lose some more weight, I will have a whole new wardrobe of barely worn (and some unworn... :eek: ) clothes
Going out — I rarely go out anyway, but sometimes enter a !!!!!! state of mind where I spend far too much on food, drinks and random s**t
Books and DVDs — I have sooooo many I haven't read/watched that buying more would be madness. Yet I have done so in the past...

Other debt — £378.80 on Very account, which is interest free until November
Savings — £212.50 earmarked for Very balance

Financial Goals:
1. Pay £378.80 Very balance in full before it leaves the interest free period
2. Save £250 emergency fund by 1st January 2016
3. Pay back all of the £13,000 loan (plus interest) by my 35th birthday, 20th May 2019

AspiringButAnxious · 30 July 2015 at 2:03PM

I have started trying to do some permitted work on a self-employed basis, but it hasn't been going well so far. I'm a writer, but I'm also willing to do proofreading, editing, online research, etc. Trouble is, I lack confidence and am finding hard to get started and put myself forward.

Freelance work is the best option for me, because I can fit it around my worst days — I have had to resign from 2 jobs in the past because they didn't like me needing so much time off and didn't understand how unpredictable mental illness is. They piled on the pressure until I couldn't cope — a certain supermarket gave me a verbal warning and told me that I would be given a written warning if I took any more time off in the next 6 months, despite accepting that my illness was genuine and my supplying them with doctor's notes. The next time I was too ill to go in, I wrote a letter giving my notice. The stress put upon me by my employers made a bad situation worse and I don't want to put myself at risk again.

I need to strive to earn an income from freelance work. I have until the end of May 2016 to make it work. As long as I'm earning as much as I do on benefit, I'll be satisfied — though ideally I want to earn enough to live independently in the future.

AspiringButAnxious · 30 July 2015 at 2:23PM

Oops, forgot to mention a couple of things:
• I have £104 cash in savings pot
• I'm challenging myself to buy as many birthday and Xmas presents as I can using vouchers earned from surveys. The savings pot will pay for any shortfall.

I'm also trying to live a simpler, frugal life. I did some serious decluttering at the beginning of this year and am continuing to cut down the amount of stuff I own. Hopefully I'll be able to sell some of it!

AspiringButAnxious · 31 July 2015 at 9:29PM

I was supposed to go out with a friend today, but had to cancel because of an horrific bout of gastritis

But at least it means I avoided the temptation to spend!

Just joined the 'Make £10 a Day August 2015' thread, aiming for £5 a day. That feels like a huge amount to me and I will be impressed if I get anywhere near it. I've got a couple of ideas up my sleeve, but will need to think long and hard about what I can do. :think:

MarylandCookie_2 · 1 August 2015 at 8:23AM

Good luck in your quest, you've come to the right p,ace and will get lots of support and help on here :0)

So sorry to hear about your losses, losing your fran and your dog must've been awful, and I understand your need for another pet, they're more than a pet though I know, what kind of dog have you got?

Good luck, and keep posting.

Itsa_Longshot · 1 August 2015 at 10:54AM

Much of what you've said so far has reminded me of myself and my own issues, so I'll be following this with interest. You have yourself a subscriber!

Good luck! :beer:

AspiringButAnxious · 1 August 2015 at 6:27PM

Thanks guys :beer: My dog is a springer spaniel. It was really odd — my previous dog died the day before her 10th birthday (she was a springer too btw) and I got the urge to look at what puppies were available and how much it would cost on her birthday, and there were puppies available in a month's time (which was perfect timing for me) from the same town my old dog came from! He's been very naughty today: he ate half a hot cross bun I was about to put on the grill :mad:

Went shopping this morning and spent only my allocated £5, which is progress. I bought 24 cans of Tesco coke, which works out cheaper than Pepsi — as long as I don't drink them all in one week! I'm trying to cut down, but it's one of my few treats and because I buy the diet versions, better for me than other treats I'm prone to having (i.e. Chocolate, cake, biscuits...)

Signed up to Checkout Smart this week, so uploaded the receipt and got 5p. Also did a YouGov survey for 25p and got given £1 by my nan (I know it's ridiculous that she still gives me pocket money, but I can't afford to look a gift horse in the mouth and it seems to make her happy. Did some gardening for her too, which gave me a workout!

I've signed up to sell on Amazon today. I have an old (and unread) textbook which should give me £10. Joined a local buy/sell group on FB yesterday and plan to sell my acoustic guitar. It hasn't been used much because I discovered I'm terrible at playing guitar, so I think £15 is a fair price.

Bobarella · 1 August 2015 at 6:45PM

Good luck with your debt busting ABA. It sounds like you've had a rough year so far.

AspiringButAnxious · 1 August 2015 at 8:33PM

Thank you

It's been a rough couple of years, but I'm determined to make big changes

Orange_Ena · 1 August 2015 at 11:37PM

Hi ABA, good luck with getting your debt paid off. I joined that checkoutsm@rt yesterday and I uploaded my receipt today but the first one didn't scan, so I did it again, but then the account balance showed 10p so the first receipt did scan after all! They're going to discover I'm trying to defraud them and kick me off before I've started :rotfl:

Re: the guitar. I have no idea how much a guitar costs but £15 sounds awfully cheap. Could you check out the competed items on eb*y to see a rough selling price? But it maybe worth sticking it on the selling site at a higher price and trying your luck. You could always knock it down if you don't get a nibble

Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

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