Probationary period - failing to meet job

1246789

Comments

  • inmypocketnottheirs
    inmypocketnottheirs Posts: 4,745 Forumite
    First Post Photogenic First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Mov wrote: »
    Please tell me you don't work in mental health?!!

    No I don't. Fortunately however, I know a lot about human psychology and behavioural patterns.
    Don't lie, thieve, cheat or steal. The Government do not like the competition.
     The Lord Giveth and the Government Taketh Away.
     I'm sorry, I don't apologise. That's just the way I am. Homer (Simpson)
  • Somerset
    Somerset Posts: 3,633 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    jdturk wrote: »
    You may enjoy it but if its not bringing enough money in and you OP is likely to lose his job you have to be practical and look at the alternatives....such as finding another part time job or getting another full time job.

    I think the reason the OP will not entertain this is because she feels she is subsidizing her husband's incompetence. If someone has job after job and it is always someone else's fault why they don't get on, don't get promoted, are sacked, are made redundant etc etc, it must get wearing. If the OP genuinely thinks her hubbie is a poor employee who doesn't 'get' what it takes to do a job properly/get on with colleagues & clients/take on board what managers/bosses ask & encourage - then it'll be replicated over and over again.

    Then it's a choice of - do I accept I will always have to work full-time, be the main breadwinner and take all financial responsibility in this marriage ? I don't think the OP will.
  • redding
    redding Posts: 41 Forumite
    I agree with Somerset. The OP simply sounds like someone at the end of her tether - her other half isn't pulling his weight with helping to pay the pills. Mov is going back to work ASAP, so it's not a matter of her not willing to make up the extra hours herself (by the way, I'm just reasoning this out loud, I'm not saying anyone in this thread has mentioned this.)

    If her OH has been repeatedly reprimanded about his mannerisms in the workplace in job after job after job, it indicates either a lack of motivation to change his ways - OR, he is just damn lazy. I doubt he is unemployable, but something's gotta give.

    I wouldn't stand for it personally - supporting someone who isn't willing to change to adapt to the workplace?

    Mov, has your OH been told off for the same things in each job?
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker
    Mov wrote: »
    Thanks but my job is very specialist and there are no jobs out there. Also, I love my job and have worked hard to get where I am, so no way I would be willing to give that up. (read into that what you will...)

    Fair enough, but you now have to accept that your life is not your own as you have a baby to win bread for. Your wishes, desires, hopes are no longer paramount.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • hethmar
    hethmar Posts: 10,678 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Car Insurance Carver!
    I was going to say some sort of condition like ADHD too but if you have already looked into autistic spectrum conditions........

    Can you find out if he could speak to someone about a career change or even starting a business for himself?
  • Chinkle
    Chinkle Posts: 680 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    OP if you look closely at the thread, you'll see I and others have given some practical ideas, if you don't explore them now you will certainly have to if OH's job loss is as inevitable as you say. I think some of us are just trying to understand it from his perspective too. It must be soul-destroying if he thinks he is doing his best and yet his appraisal was so damming. His self-esteem must be dragging along the floor. I do think he ought to see a careers counsellor before he takes another job and helps him work through what he's good at, his qualities/skills etc and help him find a job to match.
  • Mov
    Mov Posts: 21 Forumite
    Somerset and Redding - thank you!!! Glad to see other people can see it from my perspective! I have worked damn hard to get where I am including going back to Uni and studying. I very much doubt Errata and jdturk or anyone else would be willing to sacrifice all that work. I would suspect that anyone who is made to give up a job in these kind of circumstances would only harbour a grudge against their OH for putting them in the situation in the first place.
    I also think its a load of balls that:
    "Fair enough, but you now have to accept that your life is not your own as you have a baby to win bread for. Your wishes, desires, hopes are no longer paramount."
    surely a happy Mum who provides a ton of love and attention and would rather spend time with their baby than go back to work full time is always going to be a better for they and their baby's life than having lots of money. Though both would be very nice!
    Thanks Chinkle - he has been to see careers advisors in the past when he has not been sure what his next move will be.
    You would have thought his self-esteem would be through the floor, but that would involve him accepting that all the comments in the report were true. I think people have forgotten during the course of this thread that it was the appraisal report that highlighted his numerous weaknesses at work. Not me.
    Redding - I know he has got on the nerves of previous bosses, but nothing in particular was highlighted when leaving. Though actually I think bumbling and procrastinating was.
    Oh and to Inmypocketnottheirs: I am still thoroughly amazed that you believe you are able to assess my personality and behaviour based upon a few paragraphs. You should be a Psychologist with that amazing ability. Would save the NHS a fortune on the days/weeks/months/years that it can take to assess and support clients psychologically.......... Imagine your waiting lists!
    Anyway, having had a good laugh at some of the more judgemental posts and having gone out with friends for a walk my head is a lot clearer though I still have not made any decisions about the future. That will come in time I expect..
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker
    Enjoy your laugh, it's the best medicine, and be thankful you posted on MSE and not Mumsnet.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • Mov
    Mov Posts: 21 Forumite
    Errata wrote: »
    Enjoy your laugh, it's the best medicine, and be thankful you posted on MSE and not Mumsnet.

    I don't know what that means?
  • muskoka
    muskoka Posts: 1,124 Forumite
    inmypocketnottheirs wrote: »
    Think this shows a lot about the OP.


    And this even more.



    Horrendous. I so feel for this poor guy. With support levels like this, no wonder he is having problems. I hope he's got somebody with a little more compassion and humility to talk to.
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards