Keeping up appearances.......

Welcome to my debt-free diary. I am going to use it to monitor my progress as I start my (very) long journey towards debt freedom. I hope it will inspire me to stay motivated when the going gets tough. Because the going WILL get tough from time to time - I have an absolute marathan ahead of me.

Today I have totalled up all our debts..... Including our mortgage, the scary bottom line is £127,899.00!! If I deduct the mortgage, we are still left with the very frightening figure of £69,579.00 (give or take a few quid) unsecured debt. It will get a bit worse between now and payday (15th of each month) as we have very little money to live on and a few bills coming up.

So, why have I called my diary 'Keeping Up Appearances'? Well, on the face of things my husband and I are a lucky couple. Both working full-time and earning good money. We live in a lovely house (worth more than double our total debt), have two gorgeous children who are now grown-up and away at university, run two cars, own another house which we rent out etc etc. We seem to have it all. And I suppose we DO have it all - we just haven't actually paid for it yet!!

The worst thing? My husband doesn't have a clue how much we owe. I have taken sole charge of our money for years, and what a mess I have made of it! I have had personal problems, which are now resolved, but which made me lose touch with reality for a while. I'm not using that as an excuse, but it does partly explain what has happened.

My husband is one of the nicest, kindest men you could ever meet and he really does not deserve to be in this mess. He knows we are in debt and need to watch our spending, but he does not know the extent. And I intend to keep it that way. I will scrimp and scrape and save and earn and do whatever it takes to reduce and eventually clear our debt, but it will be done without him knowing. He is a worrier and not in the best of health, so I do not intend adding to his stress by telling him the extent of our money problems. Not that he would be angry or leave me or anything - he wouldn't - but he would be so worried and disappointed and it would break his heart.

He trusts me to take care of our finances, and for a long time that trust was misplaced. Well, now he finally CAN trust me and I will not let him (or myself) down any longer. Then, when the debt is less heart-attack-inducing, it will be something we can work on together.

So, I am going to crunch some figures and get some inspiration and I will be back. :)
LBM Dec 2011. Aimed, but failed, to clear all unsecured debt by Feb 2019. Finally free of unsecured debt 21st May 21!

Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
Debt May 21: Unsecured ZERO! ZILCH! Mortgage £22,332
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Comments

  • cutestkids
    cutestkids Posts: 1,651
    First Anniversary
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    HI
    Welcome

    You have taken the first step in accpeting that your debt is a problem :T

    You should post up a SOA (statement of affairs) then you will get the most help and advice from others in cutting back and paying off the debts.
    There are loads of good ideas for cutting back and saving money on these threads:)
    1 Sealed Pot Challenge # 1480
    2 Stopped Smoking 28/08/2011
    3 Joined Payment A Day Challenge 3/12/2011
    4 One debt vs 100 days part 15 £579.62/ £579.62New challenge £155.73/£500
    5 Pay off as much as you can in 2013 challenge!£6609.20 / £7500
  • HappyNow
    HappyNow Posts: 1,558
    First Anniversary I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Thanks for the response cutestkids. I will definitely do a full budget and soa and I will post it up here. Just now though I am going to have to concentrate on PRACTICAL stuff as my daughter has got up and I don't want her to see this.

    So.... it's a few hours cookery for me using up all the bits of food in our fridge that would usually just go off and be thrown away. I'm making a huge pan of home-made soup, plus an enormous chilli. I've chosen recipes that freeze well and I am setting myself the challenge of not doing another supermarket shop until payday. I'll just buy milk/bread etc as needed.

    I'm feeling quite excited about all this :)
    LBM Dec 2011. Aimed, but failed, to clear all unsecured debt by Feb 2019. Finally free of unsecured debt 21st May 21!

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt May 21: Unsecured ZERO! ZILCH! Mortgage £22,332
  • cutestkids
    cutestkids Posts: 1,651
    First Anniversary
    Forumite
    Hi HappyNow

    I will keep an eye out for your SAO just off to do some cooking and other stuff as well now:)
    1 Sealed Pot Challenge # 1480
    2 Stopped Smoking 28/08/2011
    3 Joined Payment A Day Challenge 3/12/2011
    4 One debt vs 100 days part 15 £579.62/ £579.62New challenge £155.73/£500
    5 Pay off as much as you can in 2013 challenge!£6609.20 / £7500
  • HappyNow
    HappyNow Posts: 1,558
    First Anniversary I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Well the cooking went well so that will have definitely saved a few pounds. And we still have chocolate and wine left over from Christmas, so I should be able to keep the spending very lean until payday on 15th.

    Unfortunately we had to pay £180 for unavoidable car repairs yesterday, but although that's a lot of money it could have been much worse because a mechanic friend ordered the parts for us at cost and my husband did the work himself. That's the worst thing about running an older car......

    I went through our budget yesterday evening, and it will be tight but we can manage £1000 per month onto our credit cards. I got quite excited about that, but actually the debts on them are so high that even the minimum payments are £960 per month!! They are all on low or zero interest though, so at least the £1000 will be knocking a hole in the debt, not just all going on interest. And any savings that I can make on our budget will be paid straight off our most frightening card - an MBNA one which has a balance of .... gulp.... £14,279. It's currently on zero interest but that will change within a couple of months when about £5K of it will shoot up to their standard interest rate. Obviously I will shuffle that £5K onto another card, but that will incur a transfer fee and I really want to get it paid off asap.

    I will post a SOA on here, but I know I will need a thick skin for some of the comments I might get. For instance, I have to budget £204 per month minimum for the upkeep of our animals. There are other things on it that look terrible too, so I think I will wait until I feel a bit emotionally stronger to post it. In the meantime I will be working on it quietly in the background, trimming it as much as possible.
    LBM Dec 2011. Aimed, but failed, to clear all unsecured debt by Feb 2019. Finally free of unsecured debt 21st May 21!

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt May 21: Unsecured ZERO! ZILCH! Mortgage £22,332
  • HappyNow
    HappyNow Posts: 1,558
    First Anniversary I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Update time!

    Yesterday I started my money make-over. I checked my electricity supplier and, although Scottish Power still came out cheapest, they had a different tariff which was cheaper still. I rang them and they moved me straight onto it. The new tariff, combined with a hefty credit on the balance, meant that I have reduced our payments from £115 to £80.50 per month. I know our electric charges are high, but there is no gas where we live so our consumption is high. I have started to be much more careful with our useage too - turning off lights, running the washing machine and dishwasher during Economy 7 hours etc.

    I also checked out mobile contract - it covers three phones and our internet and totals £94 per month. We're tied in until Dec 2012, BUT I found an error on the bill whereby we have been paying £4.25 per month too much (for a text bundle which should be free). I rang them too and they have removed the £4.25 and backdated it to last December, so that's £51 off our next bill plus an ongoing reduction!

    Did a small Tesco shop for fresh produce. I still spent £39 but all of it was essential and I tried lower brands than usual. I hope they're OK because there are great savings to be made there.

    So, all in all a very positive start to 2012 and I feel very upbeat and focussed!
    LBM Dec 2011. Aimed, but failed, to clear all unsecured debt by Feb 2019. Finally free of unsecured debt 21st May 21!

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt May 21: Unsecured ZERO! ZILCH! Mortgage £22,332
  • alibob30
    alibob30 Posts: 174 Forumite
    Wanted to wish you lots of luck. Hope you feel up to posting you soa soon.
  • Hi Happy .... just wanted to wish you all the best in your quest to get rid of the debt - will pop back now & then & see how it's going.

    The SOA is a great idea when you find time - often we thing we're paying the "average" for something and it's only when several people say "I pay 1/2 that!" that we realise we need to do some searching around to get a better deal!
    Grocery Challenge £211/£455 (01/01-31/03)
    2016 Sell: £125/£250
    £1,000 Emergency Fund Challenge #78 £3.96 / £1,000
    Vet Fund: £410.93 / £1,000
    Debt free & determined to stay that way!
  • DawnW
    DawnW Posts: 7,423
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Post First Anniversary
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    Good luck with your journey. You have made a good start, and are adopting the right attitude. Without wishing to trivialise the issues, if you see it as a challenge, aspects of it will be satisfing, even enjoyable at times. From my own experience, using up leftovers, reducing power use etc can be explained as being 'green' if necessary - and of course, it is!
  • mildredalien
    mildredalien Posts: 1,057
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Forumite
    Good luck HappyNow - it takes a lot of courage to start tackling debts of any size, particularly when you are doing it on your own. You're already making some brilliant changes! Don't be afraid to post up your SOA etc. - you may get some uh, direct advice hehe but please take it in the spirit it's meant, which is helping you to reduce that debt and get a handle on your money as quickly as possible!

    I totally understand your reasons for not wanting to involve your husband in this, and it sounds like you can make inroads into your debt without sharing it. Maybe it's something you can talk to him about later down the line when you have a clearer idea of exactly how to tackle the debt and how long it will take to pay off? The stress should be reduced then because you have concrete goals to work towards rather than just a mess of finances! I'm just suggesting this because tackling such a large debt could mean changes in your lifestyle, and it will be oh so much easier to make those with a partner in crime to bounce things off :) If you decide not to, you will always have a place to rant and share on the MSE forums!
    Savings target: £25000/£25000
    :beer: :T


  • HappyNow
    HappyNow Posts: 1,558
    First Anniversary I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Wow, thank you all so much for your supportive replies, I genuinely wasn't expecting that!

    I will finish my Money Makeover and then, when I have got our expenses down as far as I can alone, I will definitely put up my SOA as everyone seems to think it is a good idea. Our debts ARE massive, as are our monthly outgoings, but there is a lot that I can do to shave some off these. And we are both working so we have a reasonable monthly income. My task isn't impossible, but it will be slow and at times disheartening, and I need to keep this diary going so I don't lose focus.

    Today I am going to clean out all our kitchen cupboards. There are things in there that went off literally years ago and need to be thrown out! Once I've done that I will be able to see exactly what we have left and look for recipes accordingly so that nothing else is wasted. I'm going to investigate the old-style board today too as I have heard wonderful things about it.

    Onwaaards!
    LBM Dec 2011. Aimed, but failed, to clear all unsecured debt by Feb 2019. Finally free of unsecured debt 21st May 21!

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt May 21: Unsecured ZERO! ZILCH! Mortgage £22,332
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