On-line dating experiences?

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  • DUTR
    DUTR Posts: 12,958
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    I spoke to a few friends who were struggling with online dating. After taking my advice of having fun with it and not taking it too seriously, they've all met someone.

    This is good advice..take most things you are told online before you meet with a pinch of salt as fibs are prevalent..I have found women often take a few years off their age one I met had knocked 10 years off and another 8 years..Men quite often fib about their height[/QUOTE]

    So true, not that age matters, very few I message as the 'characters' are not unique, often profile reads like love my family and friends (who doesn't?) or visit the gym often (pics do not suggest that) and the list of activities makes you wonder how they fit them all in and look after the children :eek: between the lines I'd say about 70% or more are seeking an A list gravy train :o .
  • AubreyMac
    AubreyMac Posts: 1,723
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    DUTR wrote: »
    With due respect, what if HE didn't want to see you again? :o

    I would be fine with that as I know I won't be a creepy stalker.


    I was just worried he would be.
  • mariposa687
    mariposa687 Posts: 103 Forumite
    edited 2 January 2018 at 10:17AM
    I tend to date people that are at least one town away from me, mainly because there aren't many single guys that are about my age here from what I see online.

    I also agree on the white lies thing. I went out with a guy once who said he didn't smoke on his profile but then brought out an e-cigarette on the date. Waste of time for me as I don't smoke and don't want to date someone who does.
  • Robinette
    Robinette Posts: 246
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    I've been online dating for many years. I am just coming out of a three-year relationship with someone I thought was the man of my dreams, but obviously he wasn't. :(

    This hasn't put me off, but it has taught me a couple of things:

    - Don't think you can 'fix' someone. They need to sort out their own issues before they can commit to a meaningful relationship.

    - If you let someone treat you badly, you make a rod for your own back. Everyone deserves a second chance, but anyone worth having won't make the same mistake again.

    Good luck in your search.
  • I also feel uncomfortable that the guys I go on dates with are talking to multiple people as well, even though I am too.
    I'm curious about this, being single and not having used online dating, why are you going for a scattergun approach? I wouldn't, I'd only approach one person at a time, so I'd like to understand.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • AubreyMac
    AubreyMac Posts: 1,723
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    I'm curious about this, being single and not having used online dating, why are you going for a scattergun approach? I wouldn't, I'd only approach one person at a time, so I'd like to understand.

    I know you’re not asking me but in my case I find that the men are not very responsive/chatty and the very few that are often doesn’t result in a date anyway. Therefore I wouldn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket with any one of them.
  • I met someone on Match.com four and a half years ago - it was the last day of my subscription and the first day of his. We've now been married two and a half years and we're expecting our first baby.

    I laughed at the comment above about men tending to lie about their height. I definitely found this to be true and even changed the parameters of my search so I only looked a men who said they were at least six foot...I figured even if they lied they'd still be tall!
    "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." Marilyn Monroe
  • I'm not, I'm simply replying to the people who message me. I don't know how it works from a guy's perspective but from what I've heard, they don't simply focus on one woman at a time and are talking to several. What are they doing back on-line after asking for a second date if they are only focusing on one person at a time?
  • I'm curious about this, being single and not having used online dating, why are you going for a scattergun approach? I wouldn't, I'd only approach one person at a time, so I'd like to understand.

    This is a fairly standard way of online dating. I would get 3-4 different men messaging me at the same time. It would be difficult to choose just one to reply to (if they all seemed ok from the initial message), so I'd reply to them all. Then a couple of days later another handful would message, so I reply, and so on. Of all those messages most wouldn't get beyond 2 or 3 replies, and I'd probably only arrange a date with 1 in 15 that contacted me. The phrase 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' is perfect for online dating.

    I also multi-dated, so went of dates with different men in the same week, etc. I classed it as no different to meeting up with friends (as someone else further up the thread mentioned). I'd hide my profile when I was on actual dates that lasted beyond a couple.
  • Oh that marvellous night with that Welsh lady I met on Tinder.

    Then she ghosted me!
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