Preparing for the biggest move of our life

bellevie · 9 October 2016 at 12:38PM

So the date didnt go ahead - not for my panic, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't secretly relieved as well as disappointed.
He has applied for a job in another country - we actually come from the same country, both ended up living up here, but he has been backwards & forwards to a 3rd country that he can see himself settling down in. He was still open to meeting as the job wouldn't start til sept 2017, he is in education.
He was shortlisted for interview.
I suggested it should be cancelled as if he didn't get this job he would probably be looking for every opportunity to head back to this country anyhow. He agreed.
We then spoke for quite a few hours Friday night, and by yesterday our original date night we had come up with a deal, if this job doesn't go ahead we will meet up.
It buys me more time, which I feel a lot better about.

This weekend has been quite an expensive one. Taxi from the garage cost £17 instead of the £12 quoted on the website! I tried to argue it but in the end thought I shot myself in the foot by not asking for the price on the phone. So I paid up and we then got the train & walked 2 miles to collect the car!

Yesterday, feeling a little down about the date - I genuinely have been switching from relief to what if!! Also feeling guilty about cancelling dds play date I took her into town. We went into the build a bear factory. I had agreed on a budget, but the stupid sales rep kept asking DD, before asking me if she wanted extras, heart beat, scents etc. DD's face would light up therefor making it even harder for me to say no. I could feel my anger quickly escalating. After agreeing to the heartbeat I had to tell her to stop as we had a budget. They then tried again at the til, I had to put my foot down. Still came out £37 pound poorer. I will never take DD into that store again. DD of course is delighted, but I am furious at their sales technique, it was a cruel type of pressure to apply - who wants to see their childs face crumble!

Tinkerbelle2000 · 10 October 2016 at 1:59PM

That is awful about the build a bear factory. Hard pressure sales on kids is totally wrong, but you are right, it is done because then if we say no we feel guilty.

I'm not sure whether to say sorry about the date not working out or that it's a good thing lol. I think you have done the right thing though because if he is offered the job there are no long term prospects (unless long distance relationship). I could cope with one of those lol. I think I'm done now with dating, I am finally in a happy place and at my age I thought I would have learnt a few lessons. I seem to attract idiots though or people who need fixing. This is no longer my problem if I stay single lol. Keep trying the internet dating though, Mr Knight In Shining Armour might just be round the corner. You never know.

Tink xx

bellevie · 11 October 2016 at 6:25PM

Im off the site Tink!! Still talking to the man, its been around 3 weeks now. We will arrange a date soon but if that doesn't pan out I'm in no rush to re-sign up, it felt so abnormal on there!

I'm starting to be a little keener on this guy, slowly but surely. Its funny, I have a completely English accent as I have been here since I was a toddler, he has been here 4 years so still has a full on accent - and its HIS accent when he speaks ENGLISH that makes me go weak at the knees

One of his first WhatsApp messages before we spoke on the phone later on was a little recording so I could hear his accent, then a little video of him playing a musical instrument, I thought he was showing off, until a friend pointed out that this is what being 'wooed' is, never been wooed in my life let alone over WhatsApp!! What my nan would say if she could hear me now :rotfl: It makes me wonder, just what he would be capable of in real life, he is definitely raising my expectations higher a little each day :T

In other news, I came home to a nasty surprise from Mr T, after he wolfed down an entire pack of custard creams that DD had left on the side :mad:

Car is squeak free!
I spent £2.30 on lunch after being very disorganised - I had no excuse, DD was off yesterday with ear infection, I had plenty of time to prepare but just didn't!

Tomorrow is shopping morning, so I will put little more thought into my purchases. Aiming for under £30.

bellevie · 12 October 2016 at 10:49AM

Shop came in at £41, because I treated myself to the ''me before you'' dvd - it feels like it only came out two minutes ago, I thought I'd be waiting to see it until next year at least!
I am going to save it until my birthday so I have something to look forward to.

Im super tired today, I could easily go back to bed for a little while before work, but things need doing....so I will get started before sleep becomes too tempting!

Tinkerbelle2000 · 13 October 2016 at 11:10AM

All sounding good with the man Bellevie, how exciting.

Must be the week for it. Mr D was so naughty last week to the point I could have cried. I still love him to bits though.

I like the idea of a birthday treat, I guess I should class my new coat as a christmas treat lol.

Tink xx

bellevie · 15 October 2016 at 2:18PM

I couldn't wait and am now watching the film! Not how I imagined it reading the book, but OK so far.

I need a coat too tink, Im still wearing my light mac, bulking it up with cardigans underneath but it wont last much longer!
I just cant find something I like, I have an idea in my head but the style just doesn't seem to be out there. It might have to be an ebay hunt.

Im hesitating about the nice man I've been speaking to. Its becoming more and more apparent how much he wants to go to the 3rd country, so I know if this job doesn't happen it will be a matter of time until he goes. I have backed off, still friendly but made it clear I'm not looking to take it further. He has been a gentleman as always.

I have hovered, turned the sofa round to our 'winter' position & am now going to watch the remainder of the film, browse rightmove, helptobuy and check my accounts!

Tinkerbelle2000 · 18 October 2016 at 10:43PM

bellevie wrote: »

I have hovered, turned the sofa round to our 'winter' position & am now going to watch the remainder of the film, browse rightmove, helptobuy and check my accounts!

This so reminds me of my mum. She always used to move the furniture round in winter so we were closer to the open fire lol.

I miss being able to move things around. This flat is sooooo small. Things might be changing soon though!!

Tink xx

bellevie · 24 October 2016 at 5:06PM

Its been a crazy couple of weeks.
I had 2 family members come to stay from Thursday to Sunday. I was still at work, so they went sight seeing in London on Friday, Saturday we all went into town light shopping & a Chinese buffet. Sunday was chilled as they left after lunch.

I went to bed exhausted, and woke up aching all over - just in time for 3 days annual leave grrrrr happens every time without fail.

Car squeal had returned although different to the first sound, I took it back in today they opted to completely replace the brake pads. Im a little confused as I'm sure there was a lot of life left in them. However if the noise has gone, and it hasn't cost me a penny I am not complaining

I've seen the coat I want, this is a traditional style that previously has been out year after year - this year the only place I've seen it is house of fraser - £80! Its far more than I ever spend on winter coats, so I will continue the hunt for a cheaper version. I've exhausted cheaper shops, supermarkets and have looked in other general highstreet stores, nothing remotely similar! Its a plain, classic style for goodness sake, I do not understand why there are so few of them around.

First car payment comes out tomorrow. Will be an interesting month getting used to that amount leaving my account!

DD chose my birthday cake, a £2.65 tescos finest white chocolate and strawberry cake! Its the perfect size for 2 of us and I am looking forward to tasting it. I was going to give her £5 to buy my something, but there is nothing that I want, aside from a permanent home so we chatted and agreed it would make more sense if I put that little bit of money away in our savings. Not that it will make much difference, but I was proud of DD for coming to the realisation that it made sense.:T

I wonder if she will let me off buying her presents in a few weeks time:rotfl:

bellevie · 2 November 2016 at 12:37PM

Its truly a testing month.

We have had 3 birthdays in October at work, £5 per collection, 1 leaver another £5, winter coat £31 from tescos, (used some vouchers towards it) plus a trip to see family, it was my brothers 30th & my nieces birthday leaves me juggling money around from my small savings to make sure I dont hit £0 in either bank account.

Another bugging issue, 3 of my usual Christmas club providers are not covering the days between Christmas & new year - they are working days! All the other parents have also requested them off, so my boss has said we may have to take one day each, I dont quite understand the need to be in the office, we are mobile workers our landlines are connected to our mobiles so we are contactable where ever we are.

I have one last club, the most expensive

that hasn't yet released its hours, Im keeping my fingers crossed, otherwise I might have to pay a babysitter which will work out even more expensive.

My Christmas money was used to backfill for most of the above, so my usual savings for November will have to replace my Christmas money. I have managed to get DD a few things already through the vouchers I have saved on Amazon, and I am hoping to use very little of the budget to cover the rest in the hope I can still tuck a little bit aside.

I am waiting to see if my landlord will be in touch to increase the rent by a further 5% this year. Its really stressing me out.

Ive been looking endlessly but I would have to go 20 miles out to get a cheaper property, and the local schools next to the cheapest properties either dont have an afterschool club that runs til 6, or dont have a breakfast club. It would need to be considerably cheaper in order to justify increased petrol costs.

I would need around £3000 to move, admin & reference fees, advance rent & deposit & removals - but by the time I reach that amount, I would be within touching distance of the deposits for shared ownership so I would hate to through £500-800 on removals and £400+ on the agency fees only to then move again in a year or 2.

Im going to be using a lot of deep breathing to get me through the next couple of months

Tinkerbelle2000 · 2 November 2016 at 9:52PM

Oh Bellevie what a nightmare with the clubs, you really think work would let you work from home. And the other problem with there just been one club not to release their dates yet means everyone will be waiting for them and there will be a lot of applications.

I can see what you mean about moving again and "wasting" money on removals and fees only to know that you will be getting your forever home in a couple of years. I could kick myself now with the money I have spent on this flat and now deciding we could probably live with my mum.

How lovely it is that your DD is learning the value of money so young. She will grow up with better values about money than I did. Even my DD thinks budgeting and as she calls it grown up expenses should be taught in school, but she does like to help me with our budgets and spreadsheets so I might have left my light bulb moment a bit late but its added advantage is that DD is learning too.

Tink xx

Preparing for the biggest move of our life

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