Timid Cat in a Loud Household :(

LadyMorticia · 4 March 2018 at 9:47AM

Hey everyone.

Just looking for some advice.

We've had one of our cats from a kitten. She's always been timid and has regularly "lashed out." She was hissing at 8 weeks old which I have been told is quite early? I don't know much about these things.

We have had her since 2012. We've had two children since then (aged 5 and 3) and as young children they are quite loud. We've tried to teach them to not be so boisterous around our cat as she is timid and it's not fair to make her scared and for the most part they understand this but she still regularly lashes out. She has regularly scratched the kids, even when they haven't got really close to her. I know she does this because she feels threatened and is unhappy.

She's also started pooing inside. I'm not sure if it's because of the horrible weather we've had or because of something else. She does it on the dirty washing pile.

I'm really worried that we're not the right household for her as she's so timid, but I really don't want to rehome her. I believe that a pet is for life, but it's not fair on her to be so scared all the time.

Does anyone have any advice, please?

Thank you.

Carer · 4 March 2018 at 12:44PM

Does she have a safe space? Somewhere she can go and get away from the kids completely, can she eat and drink without interference?

If not make her one. Maybe under a bed. If she's feeling on edge and scared all the time she will be defensive. If she has somewhere she can relax in peace and quiet she may calm down a lot.

We've had cats for many years (7 at the moment). Kids are all grown up now but when they were little the cats tended to spend most of the time in their retreats until the kids were in bed.

rach_k · 4 March 2018 at 1:03PM

Somewhere high up and out of the way might work too. Cats like to be able to see without being seen. In our vets they have shelves for you to place your cat carrier on in the waiting room!

Have you tried Feliway or similar? When our cat was having a hard time, it seemed to help her.

If you haven't taken her for a check-up recently, it would be worth doing so just to rule out any issues. Sore teeth can make cats irritable, although that's perhaps less likely if she's always been like this.

Does she have a litter tray inside? Some outdoor cats still prefer to toilet inside. You can get trays with a lid so she'll feel safe.

Slinky · 4 March 2018 at 6:21PM

I too believe that a pet is for life, but like the rest of us that pet only has one life, if she's clearly unhappy living in your household, perhaps it is the right thing to try and find her a quieter home with an experienced cat person who is prepared to accept her traits.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted · 4 March 2018 at 7:41PM

I'd suggest a secure, cosy place up high where the boys can't get to her. Under the bed only works if she thinks she isn't going to be followed under there by small children.

Could a convenient route be made for her to get to the top of a wardrobe?

And in the meantime, I'd suggest getting a laundry bin with a good lid.

paddypaws101 · 5 March 2018 at 2:02PM

Ask the vet or vet nurse to show you how to carefully trim her claws....taking just the sharp hooked end off will limit any damage she may do when she lashes out.
I would also buy Zylkene capsules and give her a daily dose ( 450mg dog sized caps work out more cheaply than the 75mg cat ones and can be easily split)

TheTEOGirl · 17 March 2018 at 8:56PM

I definitely agree with the advice about the cat safe space. It's difficult if your cat has always been like this but at least if she has somewhere she can go, she might leave the kids alone. My cat likes my wardrobe for example, so I leave a comfy blanket on the floor of it and when he's feeling like some alone time, he pulls the door open with his paw, goes in and has a nap

I would try the vet as well if you haven't already, both for claw trimming and for advice. Someone mentioned feliway, which might help. Does she get plenty of attention from you? It can be easy with kids and other commitments to let the cat just get on with, if you can spare a bit of time each night to fuss and play with her then that might help.

Jaymie_kate · 20 March 2018 at 3:51PM

Some cats exhibit such personality all through out their lives and it can be from an underlying ailment. I agree that taking the cat to a vet would be a good idea to run some tests if possible.

Lioness_Twinkletoes · 5 April 2018 at 10:12AM

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Hey everyone.

Just looking for some advice.

We've had one of our cats from a kitten. She's always been timid and has regularly "lashed out." She was hissing at 8 weeks old which I have been told is quite early? I don't know much about these things.

We have had her since 2012. We've had two children since then (aged 5 and 3) and as young children they are quite loud. We've tried to teach them to not be so boisterous around our cat as she is timid and it's not fair to make her scared and for the most part they understand this but she still regularly lashes out. She has regularly scratched the kids, even when they haven't got really close to her. I know she does this because she feels threatened and is unhappy.

She's also started pooing inside. I'm not sure if it's because of the horrible weather we've had or because of something else. She does it on the dirty washing pile.

I'm really worried that we're not the right household for her as she's so timid, but I really don't want to rehome her. I believe that a pet is for life, but it's not fair on her to be so scared all the time.

Does anyone have any advice, please?

Thank you.

You could be describing my cat. She is a seriously timid cat - she's 11 now and has been like it her whole life. She hates being picked up, fusses are strictly on her terms. As soon as the doorbell goes she runs to hide. She also used to toilet in the house.

However, she lives with two loud, barky dogs and copes with them. The key for her was providing a secure, safe place to hide (behind the washing machine, she picked it!) and a litter box indoors. When she was younger she also used to sleep on top of the kitchen cupboards. I provided her with a blanket. She also has unfettered access to the garden but again on her terms. She likes the door to be left open and hates being closed out. A timid cat can thrive as long as you meet their needs. I always wanted a big, fat, lazy lap cat and ended up with a skinny, nervous cat that hates to be fussed (unless she asks!). I love her anyway.

Timid Cat in a Loud Household :(

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