silent treatment

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  • melanzana
    melanzana Posts: 3,953
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    Ask yourself the following questions maybe...

    1. Do I WANT to sort this out?
    2. Does my partner make me happy?
    3. Am I fed up with this type of behaviour?
    4. If I decide to leave, what is my plan?

    The bottom line is your willingness or not, to stay in this relationship.

    Answer question no. 1 above, and the answer will tell you all you need to know.
  • Oakdene
    Oakdene Posts: 2,560
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    Do something odd to break the ice like keep putting some Primark Ugg type boots in the fridge, that would be so odd they would have to break the silence to ask you why.

    I'd move them to the freezer!! :rotfl:
    Dwy galon, un dyhead,
    Dwy dafod ond un iaith,
    Dwy raff yn cydio’n ddolen,
    Dau enaid ond un taith.
  • An acquaintance of mine used to do this rather than say what was wrong - it was all tiptoeing on eggshells and being made to feel you were completely in the wrong, when you had no idea what had happened to cause the silent treatment this time.

    She also used to make her husband feel guilty rather than disagree with him about something, and get her own way that way.

    Our friendship ran out of steam - I couldn't bear the manipulating and emotional blackmail rather than being honest and open. It was such a relief afterwards!

    I always feel it takes far more effort to ignore someone and stay angry with them, and keep up the bad mood, than to thaw out and move on.
  • Hi... has anybody dealt wth 'silent treatment' ... where your partner for whatever reason decides that they are annoyed with you so merely ignores you ... or insults you if they do speak ?
    Had this for sometime and whilst I can read all about it being for obssessive or narcissistic people actually DEALING with it is hard. Any useful suggestions please.

    It's passive aggression.

    Usually (though not always) carried out by females.
  • Reggie_Rebel
    Reggie_Rebel Posts: 5,036 Forumite
    Scary Wife never shuts up, want to swap for a week?
    It's taken me years of experience to get this cynical
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,423
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    Tell them they are an adult now, adults can use words and converse, sulking is the refuge of children, so if they think they are a child, you should really leave because pae*philia is wrong.....
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367
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    This forum is full of amazing role models who never get angry ever whatever the situation, nor frustrated, or the rare times they do, they systematically engage in therapy style conversation, remaining totally calm and managing to put their views forward in such a constructive way that their partner automatically come to terms with the fact they were in the wrong and do so with a smile on their face and feeling even more in love.

    In the real life, people get frustrated, annoyed, angry and deal with these feelings as best as they can. For some, it mean letting off steam, for others it involves taking time to process all the information and needing to be left alone whilst they do so.

    For those who give the silent treatment, letting it all out of your chest in one go is not the right way to deal with disagreement, for those who do, refusing to engage in immediate communication is controlling the other.

    I agree with Steve, we are all different and all deal with emotions differently. Sometimes you just have to accept it and go along with it.
  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
    It's passive aggression.

    Usually (though not always) carried out by females.

    Men are definitely more passive aggressive than women! :eek:

    Not saying all men are btw, just they are more likely to be than women!
    FBaby wrote: »
    This forum is full of amazing role models who never get angry ever whatever the situation, nor frustrated, or the rare times they do, they systematically engage in therapy style conversation, remaining totally calm and managing to put their views forward in such a constructive way that their partner automatically come to terms with the fact they were in the wrong and do so with a smile on their face and feeling even more in love.

    In the real life, people get frustrated, annoyed, angry and deal with these feelings as best as they can. For some, it mean letting off steam, for others it involves taking time to process all the information and needing to be left alone whilst they do so.

    For those who give the silent treatment, letting it all out of your chest in one go is not the right way to deal with disagreement, for those who do, refusing to engage in immediate communication is controlling the other.

    I agree with Steve, we are all different and all deal with emotions differently. Sometimes you just have to accept it and go along with it.

    I know! Makes you giggle doesn't it? :rotfl:

    IMO, giving someone the silent treatment, (or the cold shoulder,) and not saying what's wrong, is nasty, manipulative, controlling, vile, childish, passive aggressive behaviour.

    It's best ignored, but I scream at the top of my lungs like a banshee at people who do this, because it drives me completely nuts! :mad:

    IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, OR WHAT I HAVE DONE, TELL ME! :mad::mad::mad:
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


    You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more! :D
  • FBaby wrote: »
    This forum is full of amazing role models who never get angry ever whatever the situation, nor frustrated, or the rare times they do, they systematically engage in therapy style conversation, remaining totally calm and managing to put their views forward in such a constructive way that their partner automatically come to terms with the fact they were in the wrong and do so with a smile on their face and feeling even more in love.

    In the real life, people get frustrated, annoyed, angry and deal with these feelings as best as they can. For some, it mean letting off steam, for others it involves taking time to process all the information and needing to be left alone whilst they do so.

    For those who give the silent treatment, letting it all out of your chest in one go is not the right way to deal with disagreement, for those who do, refusing to engage in immediate communication is controlling the other.

    I agree with Steve, we are all different and all deal with emotions differently. Sometimes you just have to accept it and go along with it.

    Hubby, when we've had a MAJOR row, will go silent for a couple of days but in no way is he narcissistic, passive aggressive or childlike.

    It's his way of dealing with the arguement usually so that he can gather his thoughts so it can be discussed at a later date.
  • Li0nhead wrote: »
    Have you tied checking if your partner is still alive?
    FBaby wrote: »
    This forum is full of amazing role models who never get angry ever whatever the situation, nor frustrated, or the rare times they do, they systematically engage in therapy style conversation, remaining totally calm and managing to put their views forward in such a constructive way that their partner automatically come to terms with the fact they were in the wrong and do so with a smile on their face and feeling even more in love.

    I thought we had a fair mix of humor and advice:T

    DT Lite:rotfl:
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