The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

4/17 for me please shaggy

I hope the op goes smoothly Elusive Lucy and well done for the four in a row.

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

HB it is bullying. There is a lot of it where I work. But it's a very middle class office so unfortunately everyone is programmed to think this way and the office culture fuels this so it just goes round and round.
The only acceptable reason seems to be driving. Even medication and child care will not be viewed as valid. It's actually quite terrible when I think about it.

Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »

Honeybear I think you are right about Tuesday. Beforehand I didn't think work drinks were worth planning a drinking day but by that morning I didn't want to lie to justify not drinking but knew I'd get pressure and some teasing if I stayed sober. Only half the team went so I can always not go next time.

Not in the same league but I kind of feel for the girl being bullied. It adds a much harder aspect to it occasionally for me.

It's bullying, whatever way you look at it, and bullying is always tedious - whatever the 'reason' or excuse for it and in both these cases it happens to be alcohol. It's unacceptable, whether it's at work or at what often seems to be compulsory 'team building' social events outside work. Fortunately for me I left that world a long time ago and I don't miss it even a jot but for those that have to do it, I'm afraid the only way around it is to come up with some strategies that are tailor made for you personally.

Obviously the first thing to do is to avoid those situations but we all know that's not possible 100% of the time, and we all also know that while most businesses have fabulous anti-bullying policies, I'd expect them to be pretty toothless. Besides which, no-one likes a sneak.

If 'driving' is the only 'reason' they'll accept - then driving it is. Lying is 100% absolutely acceptable when you're dealing with 100% solid gold bonafida tw*ts. They're not entitled to your respect or honesty over this issue.

After that, when driving isn't possible, there are a few drugs you can't take and drink booze at the same time, so I'd find out what they are and see if you think pretending to need them is worthwhile. That one's not a good idea for so many reasons but it's always there in an emergency, obviously. Routinely in the Royal Navy, or so I understand, certain social diseases are treated as 'a boil on the bum' with antibiotics. That kind of thing.

There is, of course, the 'dieting' excuse - 'Have you seen how many calories there are in a glass of wine?!' which works quite well because most people will very readily accept that women are on a permanent diet and certainly don't want to listen to them bang on about it. Boring them to death with talk about syns and calories for a bit should make the whole act a lot more convicing.

I've been vaguely following the current court case with the chappie who owns Sp**ts Di**ct and a footie team in Newcastle who sounds like a real gem. His comments about binge drinking and other people not choosing or to want to enter into his extreme sport of choice (probably because they've got a few brain cells left) is an absolute distillation of everything I've always loathed about bullies around alcohol.

Good luck with it. If you can normalise not drinking in those situations you'll be well on the way to something really important - standing up to bullies and being able to choose to go AF when you are out. That would be quite something.

7/31 please, Shaggy.

Thanks for raising the issue of pressure to drink WBF. I'm enjoying reading the dialogue.


It is very common for drinking 'friends'/colleagues to put pressure on. IMO it's because they know you've made a wise choice to cut down/give up and rather than join you which would take effort and persistence they try to make you join them to excuse their own lack of willpower.


I'm sure it will stop if you stand your ground for a few occasions and they'll just give up. I'd go for a dieting/healthy eating/fitness 'story' if it was me. So don't have sugary soft drinks instead but stick to ideally water or slimline to make the point.

hey all, not an AFD for me but from now on hoping to go more or less straight through to the end of the month.

Honey Bear, re the chappie from SD, vomiting in the fireplace isn't really a great look for someone in authority, I would have thought? Also not sure where to start with the phrase "power drinker" (!!!!) "Powerless drinker" sounds closer to the truth.

:cool:
I never thought about these things till recently. Also a colleague is trying to cut back/drink less and is getting enormous grief Over it. Somehow people think they have every right to tell you what you should put in your mouth and body. It is quite upsetting really. So far she has stood her ground but I just don't really get how people get so involved in pressuring people to drink. I don't think they even engage their brains. I think people automatically go into pressure mode without and rhyme or reason.[/QUOTE]

I have had this a lot. In my new job therebare others that dont drink, but it can be like being a social lepper, explaining yourself like you are a freak of nature.