CSA- Going self employed

sorry to burst your little bubble, but no, there is NOTHING more important than yourself and what you make or do with your life.

dress it up however you like, but at the end of the day, you have to live your life and make decisions for yourself.

and not attempting to start a business just so you can pay the ex is total bollix.

the overly generous benefit system in this country ensure that there is only "relative" poverty, which basically means the kids might have to wait a week or two for their next playstaion game.

the moaning from the wimmin on this thread is ridiculous. bet if roles were swapped and the NRP in question here was FEMALE, then all the hens on here would be wishing her all the best and saying "he'll just have to do without CS for a while, wont he?"

oh wait, double standards and blinkered views are how you roll.......

moggylover wrote: »

There may be life after marriage: but there isn't AFTER CHILDREN!:(

Ideally it would be something you would discuss with the PWC, and see if she/he can actually manage without the CSA money for a while. But what if they cannot?

Soooooo many people think that the first responsibility is to themselves even once they have had children.

Yes but you don't know that this is the case here.

The PWC may have a partner and or good job and not need the money but wants to 'punish' the NRP and see him in the 'gutter' as is sometimes the case.

He might not earn enough to support his new family and pay the the maintenance/be losing his job/can't cope with his job.He might see an opportunity to make life better for everyone concerned.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes but you don't know that this is the case here.

The PWC may have a partner and or good job and not need the money but wants to 'punish' the NRP and see him in the 'gutter' as is sometimes the case.

He might not earn enough to support his new family and pay the the maintenance/be losing his job/can't cope with his job.He might see an opportunity to make life better for everyone concerned.

I quite agree that I don't know all the facts, however, for me the one "fact" that so very many people (male and female) appear to forget is that once you have made the decision to have children, then whether you actually live with them or not, you cannot just up and drop the responsibility for those children because they no longer suit your new lifestyle.

To have a "new family" was a lifestyle choice, made after he had had the first family and to my mind should have taken into consideration the children he already had.

Not saying that in this instance the Ops partner is like that: but it is a situation that I do see around me all the time.

speedster wrote: »

sorry to burst your little bubble, but no, there is NOTHING more important than yourself and what you make or do with your life.

dress it up however you like, but at the end of the day, you have to live your life and make decisions for yourself.

and not attempting to start a business just so you can pay the ex is total bollix.

the overly generous benefit system in this country ensure that there is only "relative" poverty, which basically means the kids might have to wait a week or two for their next playstaion game.

the moaning from the wimmin on this thread is ridiculous. bet if roles were swapped and the NRP in question here was FEMALE, then all the hens on here would be wishing her all the best and saying "he'll just have to do without CS for a while, wont he?"

oh wait, double standards and blinkered views are how you roll.......

Anyone who cannot put the wellbeing of their children before themselves, should not be considering even having them once, let alone a second time!:(

Not saying at all that you shouldn't consider starting a business, but that you need to consider (as you would if you were still living with them) that YOUR children still require and deserve your support: whatever the problems you may have with your ex. You divorce your ex-partner, NOT your children. It is not the responsibility of the state, nor of any new partner your ex might have to raise YOUR children without contribution from you (and I don't care whether you are male or female, I'm not the slightest bit prejudiced on that because I have known both male and female NRP's who needed reality checks).

I would be taking the same stance regardless of the sex of the NRP: being non-resident does not and should not relieve you of the financial responsibility for your own children.

Furthermore, some people need to accept that they cannot always have everything they desire!

The benefits system was not put in place so that f eckless NRP's (of either sex) could absolve themselves of responsibility for their offspring: unfortunately there are many NRP's who see it as exactly that.

Not saying this is the case for the OP and her partner. But it is most definitely true that there are a lot of people out there who simply do not want to pay for what they have already had!

moggylover wrote: »

Anyone who cannot put the wellbeing of their children before themselves, should not be considering even having them once, let alone a second time!:(

Not saying at all that you shouldn't consider starting a business, but that you need to consider (as you would if you were still living with them) that YOUR children still require and deserve your support: whatever the problems you may have with your ex. You divorce your ex-partner, NOT your children. It is not the responsibility of the state, nor of any new partner your ex might have to raise YOUR children without contribution from you (and I don't care whether you are male or female, I'm not the slightest bit prejudiced on that because I have known both male and female NRP's who needed reality checks).

I would be taking the same stance regardless of the sex of the NRP: being non-resident does not and should not relieve you of the financial responsibility for your own children.

Furthermore, some people need to accept that they cannot always have everything they desire!

The benefits system was not put in place so that f eckless NRP's (of either sex) could absolve themselves of responsibility for their offspring: unfortunately there are many NRP's who see it as exactly that.

Not saying this is the case for the OP and her partner. But it is most definitely true that there are a lot of people out there who simply do not want to pay for what they have already had!

I agree with you but I don't see what this has to do with the OP.

I'm sure he would not let his children starve and so what if they end up on benefits for a short while thats what they are there for to support people in times of need. Hopefully he will get his business off the ground and EVERYONE will benefit in the long term.