Finances as a couple
Comments
-
missbiggles1 wrote: »That depends on whether you got the dog before the start of the relationship or not.
I had 2 cats before I met OH and he had 2 dogs. When we married they all became our pets.
I would never have married someone who didn't feel the same way as I do about animals and neither would OH.
To us any pets we have or have had are part of the family. Also although I do the majority of dog walking as I don't work, we love walking together and see it as time we can spend as a "family"The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie0 -
I had 2 cats before I met OH and he had 2 dogs. When we married they all became our pets.
I would never have married someone who didn't feel the same way as I do about animals and neither would OH.
To us any pets we have or have had are part of the family. Also although I do the majority of dog walking as I don't work, we love walking together and see it as time we can spend as a "family"
I wouldn't have married someone who didn't like animals but it was perfectly reasonable for my ex not to choose to have a dog when he was only 23, living in rented accommodation and with both of us working full time. I thought he was quite adaptable to have her living with us most of the time and to pay half of her costs.
If my dog had become our dog then it would've been reasonable for him to want to keep her when we divorced and there was no way that was going to happen!0 -
More or less the same, with the difference that we don't have any joint accounts. Still, we consider the vast majority of our expenses to be shared, unless it's gifts (towards each other, or non-joint gifts to others), luxury treats towards oneself and similar things. Everything that is perceived as a need (including haircuts, phone, and "basic" clothes) is paid from the joint budget together with rent, bills etc.We have individual and joint accounts and credit cards - but in reality everything is pooled. We don't think of it as "yours" and "mine" - it all comes out of the same pot. It probably helps that we earn pretty much the same.
This works for us, especially since we earn the same sum and we have similar outgoings and a similar mentality in relation to expenses. I one of us picked up an expensive hobby, I would expect that money to come from personal expenses of course, but we'll cross that bridge when (and if) we come to it.0 -
My wife and I have separate accounts and a joint account.
Each pay day we put a certain amount of money each into the joint account which covers all household bills which consist of.
- Mortgage
- Council Tax
- Utilities(gas/water/electric)
- Nursery fees
- Grocery shopping
- Life insurance
- Home insurance
- TV licence/Sky TV
the amount we put in is a bit more than those bills come to so the surplus is building up as joint savings for things like home improvements, holidays, etc
Anything else we pay for ourselves such as our own mobile phones, own car insurance, clothes, hair dressers etc.0 -
We dont have 'personal accounts' just 2 joint accounts.
Joint Account 1 - both wages go in and all bills / savings standing orders go out. Whats left goes into joint account 2
Joint account 2 - Everything else gets spent from here. Food, Diesel, weekend away, cinema etc
I earn 5 times what the OH does and even when i didnt we've always done things this way. Dont see the point of separate accounts to be honest0 -
If living together is so complex, try living together on one income. From the mortgage to the scout subs to the bus fare, the Mot, tax & fuel (oh & the car) - I pay the lot.
There are a few power tools that are his - Christmas & birthday money but I'd have to be feeling really stressed & petty to point it out.
Shame on me, sometimes I do.
He's the rock, the safe haven, the stay at home parent who sees the lads off to school properly rested, clean fed & kitted, & welcomes them back at the end of the day. He's the wraparound childcare money can't buy, the 24/7 cover for the unstabilised epileptic, the anchor for when life gets a little bit crazy.
OP, you've seen a mix of who should, could, might pay for what - either print the thread off, or pick & mix things you think you'd like to try, then feed your husband & talk.
I'd hope a dog would be a joint expense, for joint security, but lay out all the figures - insurance, food, toys, classes if applicable & maybe get two rather than a single dog who might be lonely.
Best of luck.0 -
I think every permutation has been covered in the thread!
But I always find these threads interesting because there seems to be a huge diversity in how or what people see marriage actually means to them.European for 3 weeks in August, the rest of the year only British and proud.0 -
Never married, but together for 28 years. Possibly because of my slow drift into living together, we never had a joint account. We split things between us, and I don't think either of us ever felt the situation was unfair. In fact, I can only remember a couple of occasions when money became a point of discussion and neither time was it a major issue.I can understand not liking animals, what I can't understand is living with an animal, that you interact with on a daily basis (and share all the good things it gives you), and still think of it as "your dog".
When I moved (finally) in with Mr Bugs, I had two dogs. And over the years, added to the pack, with the average being around four dogs. I always viewed them as mine - he did like dogs, but fair to say that he probably thought one was enough;). So I always paid for everything, bar the one occasion when one of them had to have a fairly big op and he offered a chunk of cash, which I accepted.
Funny that it had never occurred to me that he might contribute, but it was fine with both of us, so that's all that matters.0 -
If you and your partner were of a similar size, would you have one wardrobe for unisex clothing that you could both wear? I wouldn't because I wouldn't like the idea that the thing I wanted to wear one morning was not available because OH had already worn it, or because it was in the wash. Similarly, I wouldn't want to have to ask him in the morning if it was ok to wear one item in case he had planned to wear it. Also wouldn't want to have to shop together for these items to decide what was ok to buy since both would wear it.
To me, having separate accounts is bit similar to this. I like to know what's in my wardrobe and decide what to wear when I want!0 -
If you and your partner were of a similar size, would you have one wardrobe for unisex clothing that you could both wear? I wouldn't because I wouldn't like the idea that the thing I wanted to wear one morning was not available because OH had already worn it, or because it was in the wash. Similarly, I wouldn't want to have to ask him in the morning if it was ok to wear one item in case he had planned to wear it. Also wouldn't want to have to shop together for these items to decide what was ok to buy since both would wear it.
To me, having separate accounts is bit similar to this. I like to know what's in my wardrobe and decide what to wear when I want!
0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 247.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards