Smacking. Could you/would you/do you?

[GemmaE]

Originally Posted by easy

As the parent of a strong willed and very bright child, who is now 12, I can tell you that DH and I started out with every intention of "We could NEVER smack our child".

But over the last few years it has happened (only a handfull of times), in extreme circumstances, and I can honestly say that we are not ashamed of it. The first time it happened was when, around 5 or 6 years old, he ran off across a busy carpark. He knew he shouldn't do it (but obviously didn't understand the full danger of doing it), and did it out of pure defiance. He was smacked for it, and never did it again - I believe that was instrumental in his reaching 12 years old without ever being knocked down.

Obviously, it isn't something I am ADVISING any parent to do, we would all like it not to happen. But I also think that there are situations which may make it an appropriate measure, it depends on the child, and the circumstances.

Generally those people who say categorically "I could never" or "YOU should never ..." haven't actually brought up a child beyond toddlerdom.

This is exactly the type of behaviour my DD would be smacked for- where she puts her / someone elses life in danger. If its done in extreme circumstances and not the norm it has the impact it should, ie not happening again. I had the odd (deserved) smack as a child and am not violent/ disturbed/ a menace but hopefully quite a well rounded individual.

[Sambucus Nigra]

Originally Posted by easy

Generally those people who say categorically "I could never" or "YOU should never ..." haven't actually brought up a child beyond toddlerdom.

Just going back to this point - if this was true then surely every child would have been smacked? Which is patently not true.

[ash28]

Originally Posted by easy

As the parent of a strong willed and very bright child, who is now 12, I can tell you that DH and I started out with every intention of "We could NEVER smack our child".

But over the last few years it has happened (only a handfull of times), in extreme circumstances, and I can honestly say that we are not ashamed of it. The first time it happened was when, around 5 or 6 years old, he ran off across a busy carpark. He knew he shouldn't do it (but obviously didn't understand the full danger of doing it), and did it out of pure defiance. He was smacked for it, and never did it again - I believe that was instrumental in his reaching 12 years old without ever being knocked down.

Obviously, it isn't something I am ADVISING any parent to do, we would all like it not to happen. But I also think that there are situations which may make it an appropriate measure, it depends on the child, and the circumstances.

Generally those people who say categorically "I could never" or "YOU should never ..." haven't actually brought up a child beyond toddlerdom.

This so brings back memories - we are bringing up our grandson who is 10 now - when he was around 6 or 7 we had gone shopping to Asda, the shop was really busy and so was the car park. Well he ran off - ran straight between parked cars - a just missed him. I shouted at him to come back and he ignored me. I was absolutely furious with him - he could have caused an accident or been hurt himself.

When I got back to the car I had a rant at him and smacked his bottom (twice) - unbeknown to me a guy on mobile phone had seen me smack him and had taken a photograph of the car and reported it to the police.

About 2 hours after we got home there was a knock at the door and 2 policemen were there to speak to us about the incident - they interviewed me and took GS into the study to interview him - fortunately he told them the truth and that was an end of it.

The policemen said they had to decide whether to report the incident to the Social Services - they had decided they wouldn't. And one of them said he would have done exactly the same thing in my position. And basically our stories had been exactly the same.

If they hadn't who knows what could have happened - you could probably count the times on hand in 10 years that he has had any sort of a smack or tap - but what he did was so dangerous, to him and others that I felt the best course of action was a smack.

He has never done it again thank goodness - and would I do it again in view of what happened - yes.

[warehouse]

I've smacked my kids when the situation required it. If you judge me by that then you're a prize idiot.

[jamespir]

Originally Posted by Anubis

So, you run a red light, get stopped and the Police smack you.

You don't pay your TV license, the License people catch you and smack you.

You are given 50 p too much in your change, you don't give it back, the shopkeeper smacks you.

Is that right or acceptible? Is it not an offence to smack an adult?

If its right to smack a child then adults who are doing wrong should be punched because as adults, they know better - a child may not and hasn't had the same degree of experience.

If its an offence to smack an adult it should be an offence to smack a child.

its not an offence to smack an adult its an offence to punch them
they are too seperate things this is where your gettimg mistaken

[kafkathecat]

Originally Posted by jamespir

its not an offence to smack an adult its an offence to punch them
they are too seperate things this is where your gettimg mistaken

It is an offence it is common assault.

[kafkathecat]

ash28 if you were to step out in front of a car would it help you learn if someone came and assaulted you afterwards? There are other ways to teach children anything, they manage in so many other countries around the world including Germany, New Zealand, Kenya and Venezuela. I completely understand the impulse to hit as I was hit myself as a child but I don't understand the justifications that people use.
In Sweden, where 'smacking' was banned in 1980, they found that the number of children killed or injured by their parents fell afterwards.