Social anxiety

Raksha
Raksha Posts: 4,570
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edited 23 April 2011 at 3:57PM in Disability money matters
Does anyone else on here suffer with this condition?

I left school aged 17, did approx 3 months working with horses (which was my ambition) until my Dr advised that I give it up as I sustained a minor back injury. From then I temped, worked in a bookshop, but never managed to stay in a job for more than a year - always panicking and handing in my notice when I felt I wasn't always achieving 100% - this was in the days before 'annual reviews'. After 5 years (and probably 10 different jobs) I had my first son (and my first bout of PND), I returned to work temping when #1 son was 3 or 4, and within 6 months had a nervous breakdown. Got better, and went back to work again, and started repeating the same pattern - changing jobs within a year - until in 1987 I found a job I really enjoyed, only to be made redundant, got another job, settled in to that, and got sacked for a minor mistake (I'd been there just shy of the 2 years you needed back then to be 'secure')

At this point my marriage also broke down, and for 13 years I didn't work as I was continuing to raise #1 son, plus the 2 younger children I had with my new partner. I started Mystery Shopping and running my own Dog Training classes, but that started to bring on the anxiety again - was i completing the MS questionaires correctly, was I going to get paid, were the classes I was running going to be operating with full classes so I could make a profit?

Eventually I went back to temping (and burst into tears the first time I was told I wasn't needed back) and then found myself being offered a perm job - which turned out to be the companies way of getting my services on the cheap to cover maternity leave. I was knocked for 6 by this, but managed to find a lovely part time job soon after, although I found this stressful, it was fun and I enjoyed the company of my boss. then that all went 'tits up' with the local government cuts and I'm out of work again and just about to celebrate the first anniversay of starting to take anti depressants which just about keep my above water.

Now I feel anxious at the thought of even applying for a job, I've been invited to interviews for jobs that say 'must be able to work under pressure' and I've had to explain that I can't do that. My OH says 'you can't live like this' but I don't know how to change it - I've asked my Dr for CBT, but there's no budget for it. I've had 6 weeks councelling for family problems, and a further 24 weeks as a rape survivor. I think a lot of my problem comes from being adopted and rejected 3 times by my birth mother.
Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.

Comments

  • I appreciate what your trying to express, but to avoid un-helpful & potential insulting replies, I'd change the topic title.
  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,816
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    Delete the 'Work Phobia' bit, for your own sake.
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • GlasweJen
    GlasweJen Posts: 7,451
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    Is there a specialist rape recovery team where you are? The one in Glasgow (called archways I think) can refer for CBT in its own right and their budget is greater than GPs for it.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,077
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    I'm not sure how helpful it will be but i know of two online CBT programs

    MoodGYM-http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

    and

    Living Life To The Full-http://www.llttf.com/

    both were recommended by my OT and CPN
  • i suffered this 10+ years ago
    CBT helped me out of the rut
    good luck
  • CFC
    CFC Posts: 3,119 Forumite
    Raksha wrote: »

    Now I feel anxious at the thought of even applying for a job, I've been invited to interviews for jobs that say 'must be able to work under pressure' and I've had to explain that I can't do that. My OH says 'you can't live like this' but I don't know how to change it - I've asked my Dr for CBT, but there's no budget for it. .

    Do you absolutely have to work? Is it not possible to keep afloat with dog training and perhaps dog walking? I know that there is always the anxiety about whether the classes will be full, but at least that is partially under your control. When you work for an employer very little is under your control.

    The economic environment is not the easiest for finding work when you don't feel reasonably robust about it.
  • lilly81
    lilly81 Posts: 623
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    Hiya,
    Your situation sounds similar to mine. It took a lot to get the help im now on the waiting list to receive!
    Which area do you live in?
    I have a physciatric nurse visit me fortnightly (was weekly) to monitor my mood and am waiting for a place on a 18 month course from the complex needs team. This is because past negative experiences have formed my personality to have extreame reactions to things.
    Things will get better, slowly but surely
    Lillyx
    Debt free date 23rd march 2009 🥳Autism is my super power 🏳️🌈 🌈✨
  • Raksha
    Raksha Posts: 4,570
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    Thanks so much for all the help. I don't *have* to work - we are on a DMP which will probably take about 6 years to clear so long as the interest charges don't go up, but my OH is putting the pressure on - my JSA agreement is for between 16 - 30 hours a week and perm position only, but I will run out of 'contributions based' payments mid June. My children enjoy having me at home (mainly to referee between them and their Dad)
    I will certainly have a look at the online CBT stuff.
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
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