Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy an engagement gift for my fiance?
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This man is so demanding! It sounds like it's all about money with him!
He doesn't want to look after you and cherish you, he wants to control you.
Most people would value a gift at any time - cheap or spontaneous is good.
A gift given under duress is a lot less meaningful so why not do something on your own terms?0 -
I am old enough to realise that all these gifts are just stuff. Why does he need a memento to mark the engagement, isn't his memory of the day or the event enough? I know we're all different but I have seen so many young people struggle financially to buy expensive gifts for their partners to show them how much they love them when you can do that by cooking their favourite meal. The more money spent doesn't necessarily mean the more you love them, memories can be made by walking on the beach or a spontaneous trip to the pub. I told my husband I'd rather have a honeymoon than an engagement ring and 30 years on I'm still very happy with my decision . (It was four days in County Wicklow)
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I've never heard of anything being given on engagement, other than the ring, which is sufficiently symbolic as a token of love by either party. Hasn't your fiance got a watch, phone or other timepiece already? If he has, I reckon he's got his priorities wrong and he needs to think responsibly about your future together and maybe save for a decent watch after you're married, not before. I didn't own a passably good watch until my wife and I had been married several years.
As for you, I think you are being very sensible. Setting up a home is an expense, and buying your fiance a wristwatch of equal value is not only being mercenary on his part at a time when you should both be saving, but unnecessarily extravagant. Impress upon him the simple fact that wedding gifts cover the basics, but that there are plenty of other things a newly-married couple will need as essentials.:)0 -
How about something for the new house that he would like? Something he would like. Compromise is a wonderful thing!0
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I bought my husband a diamond signet ring when we got engaged. He didnt ask for it, i did it because i wanted to. I chose my ring (for which he paid for) and told him to look for a ring for himself (and yes i paid).
If he'd asked for something he would have got nothing.0 -
Well I personally did not propose to my wife nearly 40 years ago to receive a gift or monetary value of equal measure! I can't help wondering how times and outlook towards money and romance have changed. I must admit I was taken aback by the thought of even having to ASK this question but then again I suppose I am an OLD romantic in that women should be placed on a pedestal and a man should pay. I am sorry if this upsets a few people but I can't help the way my Father brought us up.0
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I bought my own engagement ring. My husband had no money. It's a standing joke that several decades later I still won't let him repay me !0
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It sounds like a nice balanced gesture. In this day n age of equality.... discuss ;-)
Probably best to discuss this with him rather than a bunch of random strangers! :-)Let me Google that for you...0 -
Be very careful about entering into a marriage with someone who expects you to spend scarce resources on a shiny expensive unnecessary treat just for him when you are in a tight financial situation and doing so could cause you serious money problems down the line.
Its a very selfish and thoughtless thing to ask, and those are not good qualities in a partner for life.
If he is regretting what he spent on your ring, give it back, he can return it.0 -
danthemoneysavingman wrote: »It sounds like a nice balanced gesture. In this day n age of equality.... discuss ;-)
Probably best to discuss this with him rather than a bunch of random strangers! :-)
hah, when I got engaged I got an ipod (~£300 at the time) and she got a 1ct engagement ring (rather more than an ipod). I bought it with the money she haggled off the price of the ring!
The engagement ring has outlasted the ipod!0
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