NST October Finding Your Inner ferret

XSpender I am in awe of your press ups.

Bob thanks for bobbing in.

Apple 22,000 steps. Go apple.

Fmess Free socialising yay.

dolly84 free money hooray.

Planning ahead remember to celebrate your victories.

Siebrie glad you enjoyed your day.

swimminginaseaofdebt well done on selling the phone and resisting baby clothes.

Counselling and crafts for me today. Spent on a taxi as I felt too wobbly to walk (walked home) but took the cheese spread and crispbread (+ water, beaker, plate and plastic knife) to counselling with me. Some food spending (out of fruit, bread and a few other bits) and expecting tomorrow to be busy.

Have been anxious about a girl from crafts who was clearly unwell last week. Reassured that protocols are in place and someone has spoken to her support workers.

Crafts was good. The 'leader' was suggesting having a clear out last week - storage space is limited and things were falling on the floor. I had said I could use some things to prep for forthcoming projects. Spent the session helping the blind girl to finish some cards, cutting templates for Christmas crafts and have brought loads home to do in the week. Help.

Counselling was thought provoking. Counsellor has suggested I go back to the doctor next week if dizziness does not stop (it is seriously debilitating) and should also emphasise my sleeping pattern.

She has suggested that I give up work (self employed craft worker) for the time being and apply for ESA, with a sick note I should be put in the support group. Then I could concentrate on getting better, getting fit and enjoying life more - I am getting some 'fight' back, feel I am exisiting rather than living and I want and deserve more.

Needs some thought. It feels like a step backwards but that may be a reaction because I have become so used to managing on very little money (ESA is more than I have now) and yet not being entitled to any help, so just plodded on as best I can. Also had a doctor who offered me a 2 week sick note citing 'problems at home' on the day my hip problem was finally diagnosed. I had just been told I needed surgery (complete hip replacement nearly two years ago) and should not be walking, whereupon I cried in the consultant's, cried in the waiting room and cried in the doctor's surgery. He didn't seem to think not being able to walk was any cause for concern.

Counsellor also suggested getting a dog. I am tempted, I know I feel better when I am looking after someone or something else, having to walk at least twice a day would be hugely beneficial but it is a big committment and I am slightly worried about training it (as some people seem to think I have failed to train DS3).

Hoping to sleep well tonight.

Today I am grateful for (and will do my victory dance) for new directions, fighting back (my sense of humour came first, resilience and underlying reservoir of happiness starting to grow again) and for low fat, gluten free sausages.