Real life MMD: My hubby earns more. Should he pay more of joint bills?

I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine enquiry from a married woman.

As already said by so many on here, marriage is a partnership, so everything is shared. We have only a joint account into which everything goes and everything comes out. Over the years there have been times when one of us has earnt more than the other - or perhaps was not earning at all, and times when that has swapped round the other way. It doesn't matter as it's joint money. We do have separate credit cards to allow us to buy gifts without the other knowing all the details, but yes, the bills are paid from the joint account. We have a joint mortgage and savings (except for ISAs) go into whichever of us is earning the least at the time to minimise tax.

We trust each other - that's what makes a marriage work!

When we married it was agreed there were debts that had been incurred pre-relationship and this was the *primary* responsibility of the person who created the debts to service. Until this situation has been resolved (we do not include mortgages in these debts) we have wages paid to a personal account and then a joint account from which all household bills are paid. This amount we know and is calculated so it is a fixed amount each month. We have a joint credit card on which all spending occurs and that is paid each month in full.

From the individual account, the one who incurred the debts then services the debts, however if there is a problem and for instance there is a cash flow issue one month which would mean incurring overdraft fees or no spending money then we discuss this and make arrangements between us, not on a "loan basis" but so we are better off from not paying the extra charges.

We have worked out on the minimum wages what that means for spending money each month and we know in advance what the income and expenditures are (non fixed stuff e.g. card payments and so on)

I do earn more money that DH until he gets overtime, then his income can far outstrip mine, but this is not guaranteed and does fluctuate so cannot be relied on. He has debt and I want him to pay it off so he can hopefully learn not to get in the same situation again. I will help, fill gaps and so on, and make sure it happens; but he spent it and it was not on me or with me; so he needs to take primary responsibility for his spending actions in the past and pay it off.

We tend to spend on stuff we both enjoy and so both gain from it sometimes this is things I see and want so we discuss and sometimes it is things he has seen and wants.

As others have said communication is the keep but your basic premise of "he earns more so should pay more" seems very odd to me.

<<< This is utterly ridiculous! :mad: I don't really need to add any more to this as it has all been said before. Coming to a forum to ask advice first is utterly bonkers! Speak to him. >>>

This is a bit harsh. Most of us are finding it quite interesting to see how other couples manage their money. When she does speak to him, she will be able to have a well informed discussion about systems that work in various circumstances, gleaned from this thread.

We were both divorced before we married each other and had our own separate bank accounts and ways of dealing with savings and bills. His income is larger than mine and he pays for all household bills except car insurance and road licence and TV licence and telephone bills which I pay because I don't like being a complete passenger.

He also pays me a modest monthly housekeeping sum. We take fortnightly turns to cook (both now retired) and the cook buys the food and wine. We have separate savings accounts which can be raided for major house repairs and holidays.

This may sound a bit of a muddle but I describe it because it is our individual solution to bring to the thread. There is no reason why one blanket solution should suit everyone.

Wow! There are alot of people on here making some horrible assumptions/accusations "it's a marriage not a flat share".

Seriously? Just because a couple like to have thier own bank accounts with their own spending moeny with joint account just for for bills?

Gosh there are some very judgemental people, saying if you are married you should have a joint account. There are many ways different people have on how they deal with their finances, there is not one answer that is right or wrong. I personally prefer to have my own account and a joint account for all the household bills.
We used to earn roughly the same so split it 50/50, then my income increased and we left it like this but I paid for more things when we were out and about.
Then my OH when back to Uni and has only started earning again recently but much less than he was on before so now we pro rata it according to what we earn. as I then have more disposable income, I pay when we go out for meals and things.
It works for us and that is what is important. If one or the other is not happy with the arrangement, that is when it needs reviewing.