Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 774Posts
    • 2,246Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 3
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Aug 16, 7:23 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning, I went to bed feeling ill and have had a horrible night's sleep. I managed to do one survey. I'm still having trouble with valued opinions, it's not showing any surveys and comes up with error when I click find surveys, is that just me? I have downloaded the app task 360 snd today will try and look at mystery shopping again. I have a couple of questions on gum tree so hoping they will lead to a sale which would be another £20. I will withdraw some money from two PayPal accounts and try to make a pad.
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 2nd Aug 16, 7:38 AM
    • 5,354 Posts
    • 18,301 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning,

    Thought I'd pop on to your thread and say hello

    Hope you're feeling much better this morning?

    I have subscribed to your diary and will pop in again to see you.

    Pm02
    x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7100.00 Cap 1: £533.40 BC: £5090.00

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Aug 16, 7:44 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have subscribed to yours too, thanks.

    Still not feeling great but with three kids think I will have to just get on with it.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 2nd Aug 16, 7:46 AM
    • 15,285 Posts
    • 38,370 Thanks
    elsien
    Thanks for the link. I can't get it to calculate but think it's my laptop as I managed to do it on my phone but then couldn't copy it onto here. It said -£108 but I hadn't included anything from my online business or any overtime for my husband. Likewise I left a lot blank e.g entertainment, holidays, presents , hair cuts as we don't put anything towards them.
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    If you're spending on them they need to go in to get a balanced picture, even if you don't put money away every month. It's a record of what you're actually spending, so if you ever buy presents, get haircuts, go out, it should show in the SOA. (This is from the woman who hadn't got a clue how much it all added up to, and was surprised to see how it all mounted up.)
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Aug 16, 8:03 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks , will try redoing it and include everything we spend even though we don't save that money but do spend it.
    • tori.k
    • By tori.k 2nd Aug 16, 8:22 AM
    • 2,895 Posts
    • 6,514 Thanks
    tori.k
    The extras do need accounting for even if at the moment your robbing peter to pay paul so not physically putting the money aside each month you are still paying out for them at some point across the year.
    Like everything else a true accounting does take some time keep a spending diary for a month, keep all your receipts for stuff paid in cash they should tally up whats in your spending diary, get your bank statement for all the DD and spending on cards this should give you a clearer picture.

    As overwhelming as it may feel at the moment you can't take control without the facts, and the first step from going in circles to moving forward.
    Debit to Credit (stage 1) 3652.34 completed 15/10/16
    Debit to Credit (stage 2) 6299.09 completed 25/06/17
    Last Castle 150,000/ 25300
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Aug 16, 9:47 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Ok,so I have redone the calculator and included everything including a small salary from my business and is now showing -98 but that doesn't include overtime from my husband. I'm sure we can easily sort that shortfall out but that is only paying the minimums.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 2nd Aug 16, 10:38 AM
    • 8,199 Posts
    • 42,625 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    The next stage now then is that you MUST set aside the money you've allocated for various things - otherwise it continues to vanish and when a car serve/haircut/birthday present is needed, the money still isn't there so you're back to square one.

    Something I found worked brilliantly was to set up a whole series of "offshoot" savings accounts from our current account - online banking is great for things like this! Then you "feed" those accounts via setting up automatic regular transfers from your current account for the day after you get paid. We have them for car expenses, household expenses (insurance etc), holiday, presents, entertainment and more. The money just trots out to where it needs to be at the start of the month and that's that.

    100% agree with Tori about a spending diary too - such a valuable tool in showing you where you money really goes!
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    SOA Calculator for DFW newbies: Stoozing.com SOA Calculator
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Aug 16, 4:47 PM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    The next stage now then is that you MUST set aside the money you've allocated for various things - otherwise it continues to vanish and when a car serve/haircut/birthday present is needed, the money still isn't there so you're back to square one.

    Something I found worked brilliantly was to set up a whole series of "offshoot" savings accounts from our current account - online banking is great for things like this! Then you "feed" those accounts via setting up automatic regular transfers from your current account for the day after you get paid. We have them for car expenses, household expenses (insurance etc), holiday, presents, entertainment and more. The money just trots out to where it needs to be at the start of the month and that's that.

    100% agree with Tori about a spending diary too - such a valuable tool in showing you where you money really goes!
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean

    Thanks, I'm going to change the way I do things. As I'm self employed I don't set myself a payday so I think I will and coincide it with my husband's one. I think before making extra payments towards debt I will make sure I have put money in savings for :


    Tv licence- £12
    Entertainment- £100 ( this includes my son's special swimming as he has special needs)
    Clothing including school shoes- £40
    Haircuts-£7
    Dentist and prescriptions- £28
    Car tax-£15
    Car repairs-£45
    Holidays-£20
    Christmas/presents-£50
    Other-£50 including school trips
    Contents insurance-£5


    Total needed to save £372 per month


    Before anyone asks: the entertainment is primarily for my son's swimming, the clothes money is mainly for uniform and shoes ( £75 on shoes alone today) my son needs to wear certain shoes due to his needs. We buy an annual pre payment card for prescriptions as it works out cheaper which is £104 annually plus money for the dentist. I have allocated car repairs as £45 due to new tyres needed and anything else. I've allocated £20 under holidays for maybe a cheap hotel next year for a celebration or something similar. I've already cut down my present spending. I've allocated £50 for anything else e.g I think my hoover is on it's way out.


    I have also decided by the end of the year I would love to clear two credit cards:


    Husband's capital one £1522.91 this is the one we pay the highest interest on 12.9%.


    My Barclaycard:£4697 this is the one that charges the highest minimum per month 2.25% of balance plus interest.


    If we cleared both of these we would be £140 better off all being well!


    Let's hope for lots of sales for me as it will be very tough with saving £372 per month and clearing £6219.91 in 5 months and doing the stoozing calculator it was showing a - but that didn't include overtime or much for me as a salary so fingers crossed!

    As predicted I spent a lot today.... £150 later but my son needed trainers and school shoes , my daughter stationary and does include £20 post to send my items and other bits. I had money for this from a 0% money transfer we did. We also have money for all the above for this year and a £250 buffer. I will start saving from this month.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 02-08-2016 at 6:16 PM.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 2nd Aug 16, 6:42 PM
    • 8,199 Posts
    • 42,625 Thanks
    EssexHebridean


    You've really got this haven't you - well done!

    You;ll find you either need separate accounts for all your savings "pots" or a good spreadsheet set-up to keep a track of what is in the account for which things. Great idea to set yourself a payday too - definitely the way forwards!

    The advantages I've found of doing things this way is a massive reduction in stress - knowing that when this insurance or that other bill comes due the money is sitting there is SUCH a huge relief. Also if you're smart, and have savings accounts that pay even a small amount of interest, you end up profiting from the money that's set aside to pay the bills - that's got to be a win! It also really does help stop the frittering too.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    SOA Calculator for DFW newbies: Stoozing.com SOA Calculator
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Aug 16, 6:36 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have two savings account, one will be for this years bills etc and another will be my monthly savings and I will log it all on my spreadsheet so I should be ok.

    I'm not planning on going out today or tomorrow so hoping for nsds.

    I will look in my present cupboard to see what presents I have already bought for the kids for Christmas. I need to check the banks as I'm waiting on some money.

    I'm hoping/ needing lots of sales to keep on track of everything ESP as I won't be making money when I go away.

    Feeling very tired today so think apart from the normal daily jobs and the above I will just chill and play board games with the kids and I did say to them we would bake today.

    I have just ordered that free craft box advertised on the weekly newsletter. Yesterday I got my husband to sign up to bounts using the code on here and I added the app to my phone again as it wasn't working properly last time and just had credit to spin the wheel and got some free points ( it all adds up and is free!).
    Last edited by debtaghh; 03-08-2016 at 7:05 AM.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Aug 16, 8:41 PM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    So I did end up going out to a special event that was free in our area but still managed to spend £10. I did bring lunch with us.

    I sold another item for £20 on gum tree and have done a couple of surveys and have done enough stepss to get my bounts points.

    Feeling a bit anxious with no sales for my business today. I'm also worrying about how much we will need for 10 nights away with no self catering options for most of the nights. How much would people recommend for a family of 5 to cover lunch and dinner and the odd ice cream?
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Aug 16, 8:01 PM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think I worked out how much I will take with us away , I hope we don't need it as I feel like it is too much. I've had a few more sales which is good. I was thinking today what do I hate avoid having debt ( apart from the obvious) and I think it's the fact that we can't buy our own property due to it but realistically that's not going to happen for years so I need to focus to try and pay as much as I can by being careful etc without it taking over. I find that I let the debt control my life and get down about it. I did another survey today and got my step points. Feel like money seems to always go
    • Saver-upper
    • By Saver-upper 5th Aug 16, 2:42 AM
    • 1,647 Posts
    • 12,568 Thanks
    Saver-upper
    Aww,debtaghh you are doing really well.It would be easy to go on hols and "hang the expense",but here you are,planning how you can minimise spends on,eg days out,your 10 days away,etc.You will get there,with ups and downs,but you will get there.
    May not have too much internet over the next few days,so not sure I will be able to post much,but I will catch up when I can.
    Stay positive x
    Roadkill Rebel #14,2016:£35.50 £12,000in2016 #82=£3163
    SPC #155 x 7.SPC7=£751.10 SPC8=£651.04 SPC9=£843.00 SPC10=£872.76
    Pinecone £292,Valued Opinions £10.50




    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 5th Aug 16, 7:17 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Aww,debtaghh you are doing really well.It would be easy to go on hols and "hang the expense",but here you are,planning how you can minimise spends on,eg days out,your 10 days away,etc.You will get there,with ups and downs,but you will get there.
    May not have too much internet over the next few days,so not sure I will be able to post much,but I will catch up when I can.
    Stay positive x
    Originally posted by Saver-upper

    Thank you so much for replying , I appreciate it. I just think being the school holidays and with this holiday planned it's hard not knowing how much I will be spending. I don't want to spend hundreds but likewise don't want to be eating loads of rubbish either.

    I'm quite impressed with one survey site I joined as they have been sending me some and I am already half way there at getting a voucher.

    Today I have the dentist ( deliberately booked for today to get it free before my maternity card runs out!), I also have the doctors and cbt. I need to dedicate some time for pampering as well as clean the floors and write thank you cards. My refund for my savings hasn't still come into my account so need to check that too.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 05-08-2016 at 7:24 AM.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Aug 16, 7:54 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning all,

    Well yesterday ended up being another spend day I did have to pay for the dentist as my baby was born early so they don't go by the maternity card. Ontop of that I treated the kids to lunch which came just under £20. We did get my husband's lump sum from his savings at work scheme. I paid my dad £600 and the rest went straight in the savings account and is allocated for other things. Off to see a friend today so nsd and tomorrow we are having a day trip but am hoping it will be a nsd or at the most £10. Looks like I will have to buy a new Hoover as mine is still playing up, there always seems to be something. I decided instead of buying my daughter a new blazer, I will sew it as it does still fit her.

    Have a good day everyone.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Aug 16, 9:42 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Nsd achieved yesterday and made some sales so have started my savings fund but will also clear a bit off my cc as I still want to clear £7k by Christmas! Out on a day trip today, we have passes for the entrance , lunch packed and flask ready so potentially another nsd but have £10 with me just in case. Hoping the weather will improve as it has started to rain.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Aug 16, 8:35 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I managed to only spend £2 yesterday which I'm happy with. We used to always eat out after a day out due to coming home late so am really pleased that two weeks in a row we haven't. Money I was expecting is coming into my account tomorrow, which is good. I currently have savings of a few thousand but is all allocated which is frustrating me a bit. Think I'm still going to make small payments on my credit cards and want to have a signature showing my balances etc.

    Off to my son's friends house today and we will make some cakes to bring with us instead of spending money on buying biscuits etc but do need toilet paper.

    I think my problem is that I'm impatient and want those debts cleared now ( not saying all debt cleared now as lovely as that would be) but the two that I'm wanting to clear by Christmas.

    I need to meal plan as we are going away mid next week so don't want to buy a lot of fresh food.
    • tori.k
    • By tori.k 8th Aug 16, 9:05 AM
    • 2,895 Posts
    • 6,514 Thanks
    tori.k
    Have a look at some of the debt free challenges, I've found mini targets help keep me plodding along, this year seems to be racing along but the 28 days between paydays feels like an eternity at times,so im also using this time to get my house in order as well as my finances, not big jobs just proper decluttering and small odd jobs that don't cost anything that keeps me busy and occupied.
    Debit to Credit (stage 1) 3652.34 completed 15/10/16
    Debit to Credit (stage 2) 6299.09 completed 25/06/17
    Last Castle 150,000/ 25300
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Aug 16, 10:57 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Have a look at some of the debt free challenges, I've found mini targets help keep me plodding along, this year seems to be racing along but the 28 days between paydays feels like an eternity at times,so im also using this time to get my house in order as well as my finances, not big jobs just proper decluttering and small odd jobs that don't cost anything that keeps me busy and occupied.
    Originally posted by tori.k

    Thanks, I will have a look.

    I hung my washing out instead of using the tumble dryer and cakes are made instead of buying them. Just sorting my signature out and will make some payments.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 08-08-2016 at 11:02 AM.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

865Posts Today

6,685Users online

Martin's Twitter