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    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    • 1,102Posts
    • 4,154Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Joined 31.05.16
    • #1
    • 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    Joined 31.05.16 31st May 16 at 2:36 PM
    Day 1. 31.5.16
    I hope I am posting in the right place. I need to keep a spending diary where its not just me that sees it. I have around £14,500 in debt. This is split over 5 different lenders.

    £2450 Bankloan
    £3225 0% credit card
    £3620 0% credit card
    £2500 overdraft
    £2800 credit card 18%

    I have a lot of outgoings, live on my own (mortgage) recently had some expensive home improvements which I think were essential.

    I am slowly paying things off but one of my biggest battles is with my best friends who seem to be constantly putting pressure on me to do expensive things and get upset when i cant - making my battle twice as hard. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me.

    My other main worry is that if my parents ever found out they would be heartbroken, I am 30 and shouldn't have let this happen. Im keeping my diary and working hard to fix. Day 1.
Page 3
    • rexelpink
    • By rexelpink 10th Jun 16, 8:12 PM
    • 115 Posts
    • 431 Thanks
    rexelpink
    Hi psl
    I might subscribe to your diary if u don't mind?
    We've got similar levels of debt and income (although there's 4 of us in my house)
    And I thought that as we're starting our journeys to being debt free at roughly the same time, it might be helpful to spur each other on xx
    Staring debt - June 2013 - £21,000
    Current debt - April 2017 - £11,697

    Emergency fund £500 / 100%

    Debt free one day at a time
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 10th Jun 16, 8:39 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Hi Rexelpink,

    Thank you for joining me on my journey. Have you got a diary i can subscribe to. Im sure my musings are very boring but I have to say keeping this diary feels like i have turned an absolutely massive corner. My debt will go down slowly so I cant be too expectant of massive changes. Another lady writes about keeping up with the joneses and this struck a real chord with me.
    In the past I've held back on saying I cant afford something or to go somewhere expensive or out for dinner but I've recently just started telling people quite bluntly - I've overspent, im in my overdraft, I cant afford it. A suprising amount of people have understood- but not everyone.

    I am a bit obsessed with what im eating because I think this is a major factor in my debt so im sure that is totally dull but it really helps me to note down what I've eaten and where I've been.

    I hope we can blitz our debts together. It must be harder for parents and managing a house and school schedules.
    I've given myself very high targets because if they're not difficult ill be complacent and ill spend lots of time worrying but wont change anything so the more intense the better and posting every day right now really helps.

    I cant imagine being free of debt, I've had this in some form for around 4 years but im hoping the day will come. Good luck to all. Xxxxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • rexelpink
    • By rexelpink 10th Jun 16, 9:33 PM
    • 115 Posts
    • 431 Thanks
    rexelpink
    Thanks psl.
    I keep meaning to start a diary, trouble is that I'm on my tablet and I find it really difficult to type so I've been holding off on that for a minute.
    I will do though and will let you know once I do.

    Managing the school schedules and house is ok, my issue is that I need to pay off the debts without compromising on the kids childhood. If we had enough expendable income to be able to pay off big chunks and go a bit short for a year or 2 it would be OK. But we don't. So we could be paying off all our spare cash for 8years plus and the kids have no days out etc. That's the challenge I'm finding hard, where is the compromise between paying off debts and having a life for them.

    I just tell people we are saving for a mortgage, and they stop expecting me to attend the expensive lunches and big nights out etc. Makes me sound miserable lol!

    See that was hard to type!
    Staring debt - June 2013 - £21,000
    Current debt - April 2017 - £11,697

    Emergency fund £500 / 100%

    Debt free one day at a time
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 11th Jun 16, 8:17 AM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    I think you've hit the most controversial of all topics there. I think one persons essential is another persons luxury. (my essential leg wax case in point).

    But with children I think its even more blurry. My sister was saying recently that her friends daughter who is 8 knows that her mum and dad go to lidl because Sainsbury's is expensive. My sister was very upset by this. But its interesting to me because i don't think there is much wrong with children knowing that.
    I grew up knowing my parents were but my sister doesn't remember this like i do. She was shocked that I thought this was normal. I don't think it did me any harm honestly. We didn't go on holiday abroad and we knew days out were a treat. Looking back i have no idea how my patents managed but I do think its even harder now.
    I do remember my mum and dad worrying a lot over money which as an adult makes me feel sad. As a child i used to constantly worry about them getting divorced. I told them that recently and they couldnt understand why i would have thought that. They are married almost 40 years now but i suppose I just mean children pick up on things and because they don't understand or they see things on telly and they worry.
    im not sure how old yours are but Hopefully you can find a balance. It is hard organising this debt but im.hopeful there is a way through for us both
    xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 11th Jun 16, 12:37 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,765 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    PSL that is so strange I always think about my upbringing & how on earth my mum managed it.

    Loving the regular updates, good girl!!!

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 11th Jun 16, 3:24 PM
    • 687 Posts
    • 1,485 Thanks
    reality_check
    Hey PSL! Loving your diary so far and I can relate to most it. I have friends who constantly shop, eat out, go for drinks and I was one of them, but it is getting easier just saying no. I'm not at the stage of bluntly saying "No sorry I am in debt and trying my best to repay it back" I do stick to the old classics "I'm too tired from work" etc...The thing is none of my friends are wealthy either, all have credit cards up to their eyes in their overdrafts, just do the classic balance transfer and take out new cards when they want something....Fur coat, no knickers - I was def in this gang!!

    I wouldn't let having debt hold you back from dating (if it's what you want) not that I am the best person to get dating advice from lol I had my daughter when I was 15 and then met my (ex now) husband at 20 and we divorced when I was 32. I was 34 in March so I'm new to the whole dating game! I did try out Tinder....don't judge me and it wasn't as bad as I thought, I actually spoke with far nicer people than I normally do in person! and the bonus is it's free!! I think the comment you said about your friends not willing to date people with savings/let alone being in debt is absolutely ridiculous! But at the end of the day will be them who lose on, so up to them.

    Having a life while paying off debt is essential, I tried the whole paying every penny to debt and then having to use credit cards again as totally unrealistic and then tried to give myself teeny tiny budgets again unrealistic then I would have to use a card and get annoyed at myself then think oh well I've used it now and keep adding to it! I went months at the start of the year and didn't reduce my debt as made 2 steps forward and then 3 back....but these lessons have helped (I think!) so I now give myself money each month to spend on beuaty treatments/lunches etc

    Sorry about writing so much! Good luck xxx

    p.s Give threading another go, the bad experiences I've had had been from incompetent people!! When you get someone good who knows what they are doing it's def not as painful and gives a better shape.
    • baibelle
    • By baibelle 11th Jun 16, 5:25 PM
    • 68 Posts
    • 218 Thanks
    baibelle
    Hey PSL, had a read through your diary and found it really interesting as we seem to have a few similarities. My income is less then yours but without the commuting costs and my mortgage is just slightly less. My flat is also in disrepair and my debt was 10k but is now 8k. I live a bus journey (or what I am trying to turn into a health and free bike ride) from my city and so people either don't visit or stay for ages or we have to go out to the city or they expect me to pop into more city central homes! The only major difference is I'm in a relationship, however this has been falling apart for a while. Do you find that being single affects your debt repayments greatly? I've been stressing about how I will budget and do home improvements and pay debts and have a social life when single I'll be loosing £400pm but on the positive I will be paying slightly less bills and have more control over energy use/ shopping bought I imagine
    19/12/14: Spent 10 years of savings!!
    ..... to buy my first home.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 11th Jun 16, 8:38 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Hello Baibelle, Reality_check, Dolly Rocker and everyone.

    By sheer coincidence I did get my eyebrows threaded today and it was ok. My lady remembered that we had talked about it and she offered instead so I did.

    I wish my friends were poor. Mine all assume im wealthy because I have a mortgage. That's how peoples minds work but its complete nonsense.

    If im honest its the thought of meeting someone amazing and then having to explain this situation that I am worried about.
    I kind of find dating a chore, I haven't met anyone nice on my normal life have thought about eharmony but mostly have found men to be incredibly needy. And often quite boring. When I've dated I felt quite suffocated by the constant communication that men like to do. I hated being asked what I was doing every day and just find it all a bit silly. Every morning I used to get a text sating good morning, it was too much for me. Tinder I've not done! No judgement honestly. Maybe I will!

    I think london has a lot to answer for, people have forgotten that dating is all about the connection rather than what people have in their bank account.

    Sorry to read about your relationship Baibelle. That cant be easy and must be weighing on your mind. I hope you are ok.
    To be honest im not sure how my debt repaying will go, im hoping to have more of a plan when I've sorted out my overdraft. Going to balance transfer to mbna 0% 20 months so that will help.

    Being single is frustrating because no matter what you say or do people who wouldn't choose to live on thier own cant understand that choice and assume (wrongly) that you never get any invites and are desperate to go out. They then put pressure on you to go out and spend money. For me this is the worst bit. This then brings more stress because you're constantly having that battle and its exhausting.

    Todays spends
    £68 dentist
    £10 eyebrows
    £8 pub
    £10 market

    Had spaghetti bol for tea and staying in tonight. Need to nip to tesco tommorow and sort out lunch for monday. 15 sleeps to payday. £75 payment to credit card on monday.

    I don't think im going to make my august target but its on my mind constantly and im trying hard which is a giant improvement! Xxxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 12th Jun 16, 1:53 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Before I lose momentum.
    Spent £8 poundland essentials
    £6.50 tesco- milk, bran flakes, cheese, apricots-4 items gold star for effort.

    Then
    £27 in next dress for work
    £35 in new look 2 cardigans and one top for work. Might return top. Cardigans for work at £10 each is very good.

    Next month need to buy tights and more dresses dispite things being incredibly tight! No holiday planned till september so could need a few bits added before then.

    Also need at some point
    Pajamas
    Hoover
    Clothes airer
    Homeland dvd- watched 3 episodes need to see how this pans out.
    New handbag for work
    Big saucepan to make batches of dinner, existing pans not big enough.
    New pillows and duvets

    Work drinks on thursday, think I will go for one but if I can miss altogether that would be best! Work lunch wednesday so im planning mon, tues, wed, friday NSD if possible. Just thursday probably wont be. Will see what the week brings. Xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 12th Jun 16, 2:05 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,765 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    I love Homeland! Think I have watched up to season 4, just waiting on it coming on skyplus.

    I know they are on Netflix up to season 4 do you have that? Could you get the one month free trial then just cancel it if they still do that?

    Loving the NSD plans, don't think I will manage any this week. Need to be picking up lunches but maximum 2.00 per day will do me.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 12th Jun 16, 2:21 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Thanks Dolly but sadly I am in the tiny minority in that my flat has no broadband, I have freeview and lovefilm which is how I saw homeland. My friends think I am bonkers but my phone has intenet and we have it at work plus my parents have it at their house. It just works for me not having it. Do miss youtube tho.
    Saw seasons 1-4 on sale from cash exchange I think 17.50 so thought I would get that on payday. I was gripped by it like nothing I have seen in ages. Got to occupy myself for july. Its going to be lean!
    Going to stay at home rest of day, telly, bath, book and head in organised mode.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 12th Jun 16, 3:16 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,765 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    I couldn't live without internet at home!

    Suppose if you have the access in all those places why pay for it though if you can manage.

    17.50 is great, I love just binge watching stuff like that.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • GoingToDoIt
    • By GoingToDoIt 12th Jun 16, 4:42 PM
    • 448 Posts
    • 3,163 Thanks
    GoingToDoIt
    Hi PSL,
    I'd recommend joining a cashback site if you have a few purchases coming up. Each time I buy something I try to get some "extra value" from it, supermarkets it's loyalty points, clothes and travel it's cashback.
    Stuff I've finished using/wearing - put it on the bay of E, for instance if you finish your Homeland set you could sell it on? I bought a tv last year whilst my main one was repaired, and I just sold it for £3 less than I paid!
    It starts off with little amounts but it all adds up. If I have to hand over my hard earned cash (which I do because I need new stuff for work, and tights, and a new bag) then I want to get it for the lowest possible cost. I often go shopping, try stuff on don't buy it, go home and order online so I get cashback.
    Apr 16 Total cc 0% debt £8364/3499 updated 15 Oct 17
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 13th Jun 16, 9:08 AM
    • 687 Posts
    • 1,485 Thanks
    reality_check
    Pass on the men you meet - I seem to meet people with terrible communication...maybe I am too needy!!

    I loved Homeland - buying the box set comes under an essential spend!

    With my overdraft I lived in it and was up to £2500 and I paid about £38 a month in charges, with Barclaycard I done a cash transfer with a 2% fee I think it was for £2000 was basically one month worth of charges and was interest free for 8 months...if that's an option? xx
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 13th Jun 16, 11:03 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    An NSD today, hopefully I can manage a few more. Costs left for month are £20 on phone and £12 lovefilm, £30 contact lenses. Waiting for my mbna card to arrive, not sure how I qualify for any more credit from them but there you are! Coming out of the overdraft will make a massive difference and much easier to plan plus good riddance to the interest.

    I don't think we are asking too much, I just would like to meet someone tall, funny, non-boring
    non smoking, animal lover, low key and normal. I don't think that's fussy but doesn't seem to exist. Would like to.meet someone but its got to be right!

    I joined the quidco, it has homeland but I have to wait to payday. Thank you for the recommendation. Will see how I get on. Should definitely help.

    Work tommorow - take lunch in then sausages and pasta for tea. No evenings plans bar sleeping.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • GoingToDoIt
    • By GoingToDoIt 14th Jun 16, 6:17 PM
    • 448 Posts
    • 3,163 Thanks
    GoingToDoIt
    Hi Psl
    I get my lenses from d@ysoft and have done for years now, after they were recommended on here.I pay £12 per month for daily disposables.
    Apr 16 Total cc 0% debt £8364/3499 updated 15 Oct 17
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 14th Jun 16, 8:33 PM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Ah I will look into that. I know its silly to overpay but I really like my local specsavers and I've been registered there for ages But i will look at switching this because it does seem more sensible.
    An nsd today. Very boring meeting at work where I decided that I am going to balance transfer my credit card that isn't 0% and as much of the overdraft as possible- then concentrate on clearing the remainder of overdraft as much as possible. Realistically this could be January or later before i am fully out. But I must plod on as best I can.

    But I have a few expenses coming up. 2 exams (work pays for your first attempt then when you fail you pay for retake which is where im at) I think this is about £260 but its an investment in myself so needs must! Im planning to be at home for a lot of july and august and get these sorted.
    Water bill not arrived yet
    Contents insurance due in august
    Highlights end of aug/early sept

    Have drinks in diary for 1st july and 23rd June. Going to try to limit drinking out but these 2 evenings will be cheap as both friends know a little about my not having money and should do me good to see them.

    A week and a half to payday. 2 quiet weekends on the horizon, 3 work days this week and 5 next week. I wish the numbers looked better.

    Im not sure weather to cut up my 18% credit card when its zero, im scared ill need it. But it probably is the right decision everything considered. Then ill watch my accounts like a hawk!
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • ramblehan
    • By ramblehan 14th Jun 16, 8:48 PM
    • 400 Posts
    • 924 Thanks
    ramblehan
    Just wanted to say hi and good luck with your journey - I think your goal setting is a great way to stay focused - might have to have a go at that myself!
    Wishing you lots of NSD's in June.
    • GoingToDoIt
    • By GoingToDoIt 14th Jun 16, 8:56 PM
    • 448 Posts
    • 3,163 Thanks
    GoingToDoIt
    It all sounds positive- look on the main site at 0% cards especially ones which have no transfer fee, you can check if you are likely to be accepted before applying. Saving wherever you can all helps!
    Apr 16 Total cc 0% debt £8364/3499 updated 15 Oct 17
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 15th Jun 16, 7:49 AM
    • 1,102 Posts
    • 4,154 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Thank you so much for the support. I have quite poor credit history probably because I never pay anything back! But hoping this will improve if I can close overdraft and when I pay my loan back next october. Applied for a couple of balance transfer cards recently and got declined but mbna must have a bit more faith than most.

    Really looking forward to making some progress. If the Thursday work drinks are well attended then I wont go, but if its low numbers I will go for one. I don't really want to, commuting and hot weather plus the inevitable train delays just make you want to escape london and get home as soon as possible! Overall I love working in london but weather extremes are tough going. Just need to power through. Xxxxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
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