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  • FIRST POST
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    • 1,100Posts
    • 4,148Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Joined 31.05.16
    • #1
    • 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    Joined 31.05.16 31st May 16 at 2:36 PM
    Day 1. 31.5.16
    I hope I am posting in the right place. I need to keep a spending diary where its not just me that sees it. I have around £14,500 in debt. This is split over 5 different lenders.

    £2450 Bankloan
    £3225 0% credit card
    £3620 0% credit card
    £2500 overdraft
    £2800 credit card 18%

    I have a lot of outgoings, live on my own (mortgage) recently had some expensive home improvements which I think were essential.

    I am slowly paying things off but one of my biggest battles is with my best friends who seem to be constantly putting pressure on me to do expensive things and get upset when i cant - making my battle twice as hard. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me.

    My other main worry is that if my parents ever found out they would be heartbroken, I am 30 and shouldn't have let this happen. Im keeping my diary and working hard to fix. Day 1.
Page 1
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 31st May 16, 2:48 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,764 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    • #2
    • 31st May 16, 2:48 PM
    • #2
    • 31st May 16, 2:48 PM
    Hi & welcome.

    I have a friend who when we suggested going away for a cheap weekend suggested 5 days in Las Vegas - yeah okay then!

    Haha - clearly deluded.

    My best friend however is now trying to pay off her debt too which is helpful cos we both now want to do things on the 'cheap'

    Just chip away at the debt as best you can & eventually it will be gone.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 3:40 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    • #3
    • 31st May 16, 3:40 PM
    • #3
    • 31st May 16, 3:40 PM
    Dolly your page is quite inspirational. Im hoping I can be as successful as you. This month im going to be home. A lot! Will be following your diary especially when it gets tough which im expecting it to be.
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 31st May 16, 4:51 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,764 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    • #4
    • 31st May 16, 4:51 PM
    • #4
    • 31st May 16, 4:51 PM
    It will be tough but will be so worth it in the end!

    We can do this.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 9:21 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    • #5
    • 31st May 16, 9:21 PM
    • #5
    • 31st May 16, 9:21 PM
    Spending today
    £11 wilko laundry and sink unblocked (glamourous)
    £7.30 tesco milk, fruit
    £1 charity shop book for friend
    £35 leg wax (have thought about cancelling this but it gives me confidence and I am single. Would be sad without it.

    I consider leg wax an essential (goes on bills list) so today not so bad. £19.30

    Ate too much for dinner, had pizza from sainsbury but at least it wasn't dominos.

    Paid mortgage 500, loan 150, charity donation 25 totalling £675.

    Also spent friday eve in pub, much needed social night, £30 not left bank account yet.

    Tomorrow £125 management fee, £25 elec and £12 tv licence.

    Still to come water bill is 6 monthly due around now, contents insurance due around now but nothing in post yet, dentist, 2x credit card payments totalling £110, love film at £8 which I love so I need that. Council tax £95, £25 owed to friend, eyebrows threading, specsavers, lunch dates at work and family commitments.

    Freezer is full, spent the day cooking. But then have massive anxiety about a power cut and all the food defrosting so baring that this is good.
    Hair highlighted fine till end october.

    Fingers crossed nothing breaks or unexpected expenses.

    I sometimes worry my debt burden is subconsciously making me repel men as I can't really imagine sharing this problem with someone I just met. A lot of my friends (who live with parents or shared houses) would rule out dating someone without savings, let alone actual debt (never mind debt over £10K) sometimes feel like maybe I am a bit toxic. I think life is easier single, dating is very expensive and I don't think I can afford it at the moment which is a bit sad. I think in 12 months im hoping things will be different and maybe it will happen. Will wait and see.
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 1st Jun 16, 8:44 AM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,764 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    • #6
    • 1st Jun 16, 8:44 AM
    • #6
    • 1st Jun 16, 8:44 AM
    You have a lot on so no wonder you are thinking like that.

    Gradually you will feel differently I would imagine.

    You are doing great already, well done.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 1st Jun 16, 6:48 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    • #7
    • 1st Jun 16, 6:48 PM
    • #7
    • 1st Jun 16, 6:48 PM
    No spending today. Good way to start month. But it was a bit of a battle. Seem to spend money for so many different reasons, boredom being just one.

    Fed and watered. Home for the day. Long way to go. I think this could be a long month. Got a few books to read and love film films coming. Food plan done. Flat half cleaned, bedroom needs attention.

    I should note outgoings, think it might help.

    Income £2100
    Mortgage £495
    Train commute - london £390
    Management fee £133
    Council tax £95
    Credit card min payments £110
    Third credit card payment (over min) £120
    Loan 16 payments left £153
    Electricity £25
    Charity donation £25
    Tv license £12
    Lovefilm £8
    Phone £20
    Beauty subscription £16
    Eyebrows and leg wax £40

    Hair every 3 months £100
    Dentist every 3 months £65

    I think there are more but cant think of them water is every 6 months, about £70 a time. Contents insurance £55 annually.

    I owe my parents an additional £5000 but this is very flexible.

    I should be able to make some progress this month, although I have upset my best friend by asking her not to invite me out to dinner. I don't think its a big ask but she doesn't seem to get it and I did shout which is unlike me but now the mesage seems to have FINALLY got through I don't want to do anything which might undo that.

    When you live on your own people always try and put pressure on you to do stuff and spend money- like they think everyone who lives on their own is desperately lonely. Its so annoying because actually being too social can be a major financial problem and a bit of space can do amazing things for your bank balance. Will see how it goes. Having friends in london is a problem because everybody rents with people they don't like because its so expensive and nobody wants to go home to their houses so they don't understand if you love your home and love being at home. Its completely alien concept. I feel like this process will mean that some friends will be a casualty but it seems that's just how it needs to be. I cant afford £30 on dinners and drinks right now. For once I am digging my heels in.

    This is a bit moany- sorry for the readers! I think keeping a debt diary is so helpful. If I overspend this month I am going to be so cross with myself. Have to get a grip. This is day 2 and although it sounds silly I am so pleased with myself for not spending any money. Day 3 tommorow. Will see what it brings.
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 1st Jun 16, 10:30 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,764 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    • #8
    • 1st Jun 16, 10:30 PM
    • #8
    • 1st Jun 16, 10:30 PM
    We can only do this one day at a time, I am the same.

    I have literally no cash to spend on anything exciting this month, it is rubbish.

    I have some cash coming in from ebay sales but don't like to touch that until people have received the items & left positive feedback so that I know they aren't going to ask for the money back. That is just over 30 I think.

    Hoping they do I could really do with that extra cash.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 2nd Jun 16, 7:11 AM
    • 3,532 Posts
    • 27,424 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    • #9
    • 2nd Jun 16, 7:11 AM
    • #9
    • 2nd Jun 16, 7:11 AM
    Hello! Wishing you luck.

    I guess if you got your friends round to share your home you would socialise for less?
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 2nd Jun 16, 7:57 AM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Good Morning Dolly, SHS, and any others that may be reading. Thank you so much for dropping in and making this "real" and me more accountable. It does mean a lot and its so helpful. I think I've got a real battle on my hands so to have people taking the time to support me is phenomenal and i cant explain how much this helps me so thank you!

    Agreed it has to be one step at a time. (boring football alert - sorry but) It makes me think of the film fever pitch where colin firth loves arsenal and they need to score 2 goals to win the title. It doesnt go well at first but then they score and you expect him to celebrate but he finds it harder and he says something along lines of "typical arsenal always score and get your hopes up" and then his friend says something like "what do you want them to do, they cant score the second goal first"

    I don't know if that sounds like nonsense but that's how I see it.

    I do have people over but they seem to never want to leave and my flat needs a lot of work which people are always happy to point out to me like its new news! I sound really inhospitable and mean but i don't really like being in charge if we go out I can leave when I want to. Also my london friends are in london and im an hour outside so they always want to go out after work but its getting better and I think I am getting stronger.

    Today wont be an NSD but im seeing my brother and that's important so happy with that. We may have a drink at the pub but that's ok because I think spending time with your family reminds you that you are loved and worth loving which is worth remembering. We all are. He knows I have some credit card debt although he would be upset if he knew the full extent and is always sympathetic to money restraints.

    I wrote down last night that I would like to get to below £14,000 by the end of august but before payday so on 25/08/16 when everything is added together it should be under £14K. Its around 12 weeks but its just 2 paydays so will take a lot of work.
    This month is quite expensive so I need a longer target rather than just end of June. It should be do-able but if it isn't st least I will be making progress which will be a brand new experience. This is day 5. There are 25 more till payday. One day at a time.
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 2nd Jun 16, 2:38 PM
    • 3,532 Posts
    • 27,424 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    Its a compliment they don't want to leave, but I would respond to comments about work that needs done with a big
    "Wow." Which I would leave hanging!!

    Xxx
    • Calling14
    • By Calling14 2nd Jun 16, 2:55 PM
    • 2,506 Posts
    • 18,596 Thanks
    Calling14
    Good luck, set yourself mini targets my advice. I started over 13K not quite at the end of the road yet. Hold onto your friends, just try cheaper nights out, just drinks? Need some fun along the debt busting journey. I am probably same as you push guys away until debt is gone and love my house bit too much. However friends drag you out and you need someone to whine to lol.
    I tend to do 100 day challenge(on debt free challenges board) and set myself a target like that. Join in the fun.
    LBM 13039 1.1.13 NOW £1040
    PAYDBX 2017 #16 £3260 /£4300 DFD 12/17
    E
    Fund #9 £100/£1,000
    1 x 100 days challenge £1161.71/2000 ends 29/12/17


    • mummy2threeboys
    • By mummy2threeboys 2nd Jun 16, 4:02 PM
    • 641 Posts
    • 5,987 Thanks
    mummy2threeboys
    Hello sweetie. Well done on posting. xx
    I have noticed a few things you can cut down on, mayeb this could be considered, sorry if I am over stepping the line.
    Charity £25 donation. You are in quite a bit of debt, so how about can you donate your time instead, you get to meet new people too.x

    Beauty..almost £90 a month on beauty. (Haircut devided into 3) Instead of waxing how about getting a good razor and shaving. i use gillete venus and it's as good as a wax , do it every other day n the shower. I don't buy make up now, just live on freebie samples and what I have, also free makeovers at the counters. I quite like poundland make up, it's done well in reviews. Theres a fab board thingy on here called Buy no new toiletries or something Thats quite a cool thread.

    Teeth, can you use an NHs, or do you have teeth whiting? If so I would swap to nhs and use home bleaching, although I don't use them kits. I have used the whiting gel sticks (again poundland) and whiting toothpaste. Seems to help.

    Once you get into it your mind set really changes. Material things are not important, your health (Money troubles are often a cause of depression) .
    I agree gets your friends round, what about organising a bring and sawp at your house, they bring stuff they don't want and you donate you all swap. Some wine and nibbles, cheap night and new clothes ..obviously only works if someone is the same size lol
    Or cinema when on 2 for 1 tickets and a coffee instead of meal afterwards? take your own snacks in?

    my mantra is I may love nice things, but I can't afford to be picky. But really you can still do great things and have fun, just your idea of a treat changes. One step at a time.
    Go see if there is anything you can list clothes or books, dvds?
    Wishing you the best of luck.
    debts various PAID off £4575:
    total £7681 £3107
    59.56% Debt free day jun 2019 Aug 18

    Pay off all your debt Xmas 2017 Member 42 1118/ 4225 (26.46%)
    No buying Toiletries 2017 134
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 2nd Jun 16, 6:51 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Thank you so much for all advice. Honestly not overstepping the line at all, it's quite brutal in my head so all advice appreciated. And I listen to it all.
    I could arrange a few social nights. I take the point friends are important but I kind of feel like I do better on my own. Will see how it goes.

    The thing with the leg waxing is that it is a real lift. It makes me feel much better about myself and I hope this isn't tmi but my legs are so revolting naturally I honestly need to wax, exfoliate, moisturise just to feel normal. I could cancel it but I would be too sad. Especially being single.

    The dentist cost is because my teeth are difficult to clean because of movement so its a full hygienist appointment to correct this. Honestly it is essential but totally annoying. It is nhs but just a pain.
    Just had chicken nuggets and waffles for tea. Curry tomorrow, although the amount defrosting looks massive so possibly 2 meals there.

    Spent £3 on glass of wine, then my brother paid so I owe him for a few drinks and for a previous ticket so feel a bit scoogy until I sort that.paid council tax today £95 but its done till next month.

    Had nice time, home for the day. Tomorrow is friday, should be sober and non-expensive and meals are sorted.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 3rd Jun 16, 6:00 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Today had a crisp craving so bought some and milk for fridge. Its not good but I couldn't fight it. Gave my parents £75 payment for the month and instantly felt less stressed out. Bought fathers day card. Home for the day now. Credit card payment £36 going out on monday so all steady for the weekend.
    My friend is unexpectedly newly single so going out tommorow to try cheer her up.hopefully not too expensive. Sunday need to get train ticket and organise lunches for work. Only 2 this week as have plans for 3 of the days. Will be better on this the rest of month. Phew! Going to stay in tonight and watch my love films, im off today. Just watched the pointless contestants win £9K so now cheering on the eggheads.
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 3rd Jun 16, 10:22 PM
    • 3,414 Posts
    • 9,764 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Thank you so much for all advice. Honestly not overstepping the line at all, it's quite brutal in my head so all advice appreciated. And I listen to it all.
    I could arrange a few social nights. I take the point friends are important but I kind of feel like I do better on my own. Will see how it goes.

    The thing with the leg waxing is that it is a real lift. It makes me feel much better about myself and I hope this isn't tmi but my legs are so revolting naturally I honestly need to wax, exfoliate, moisturise just to feel normal. I could cancel it but I would be too sad. Especially being single.

    The dentist cost is because my teeth are difficult to clean because of movement so its a full hygienist appointment to correct this. Honestly it is essential but totally annoying. It is nhs but just a pain.
    Just had chicken nuggets and waffles for tea. Curry tomorrow, although the amount defrosting looks massive so possibly 2 meals there.

    Spent £3 on glass of wine, then my brother paid so I owe him for a few drinks and for a previous ticket so feel a bit scoogy until I sort that.paid council tax today £95 but its done till next month.

    Had nice time, home for the day. Tomorrow is friday, should be sober and non-expensive and meals are sorted.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    If it makes you feel better then just stay with it, it's important too.

    Here's hoping you manage a non expensive weekend.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £1,980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 3lbs
    • milasavesmoney
    • By milasavesmoney 3rd Jun 16, 11:32 PM
    • 1,618 Posts
    • 14,483 Thanks
    milasavesmoney
    Hi

    I added 80 for food, 100 for entertainment/holidays/gifts, 50 for saving>emergency fund, 50 for clothes and beauty. That leaves you with $£150 for over payments. This is over and above what you have allocated for OP. You could put 100 toward toward your CC with the highest % rate and give yourself a £50 cushion until payday.

    You might figure out how much you are spending on food monthly, including take aways. This is generally a great place to start tightening up your monthly budget. All the lunches (if you don't bring your lunch to work) coffees, snacks and TAs etc really add up.

    If you pay £250 to your 18% CC you would have it paid off in about 12 months.
    Last edited by milasavesmoney; 03-06-2016 at 11:38 PM.
    Overprepare, then go with the flow.
    [Regina Brett]
    • GoingToDoIt
    • By GoingToDoIt 4th Jun 16, 11:11 AM
    • 448 Posts
    • 3,163 Thanks
    GoingToDoIt
    Hi PSGirl,
    I think you're on the right track with starting a diary, you will find loads of advice and also support on here. We all started out at some point and none of us are there are always setbacks and changes but also achievements and encouragement.
    As you get more into the forum you can get into different ways to save money, right now I am earning with survey sites, selling on bay of e and rinsing topc@shback and I "dropped a brand level" on some shopping. That sounds like a load of activities but I've built that up over months I didn't start them all at once, the main thing is to try things and see what works (so many other things have fallen by the wayside - NSD's, wombling, weekly cash in my purse)
    You'll find what works for you.
    I know that being single and going out in London is tough, plenty of times I have lied to friend A I will be along for drinks, after a meal, as I am seeing friend B first, just to avoid paying for both a meal and drinks as I couldn't afford both.
    At the end of the day your real friends will be happy enough to have a £12 N@ndos with you if you're a bit broke!!!!
    Good luck
    Gonna
    Apr 16 Total cc 0% debt £8364/3499 updated 15 Oct 17
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 4th Jun 16, 2:30 PM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Hello. Thank you so much everybody for all the support and help. I love it that people are taking time to help me and read my boring diary. I do read all of it and think about it all.

    I have to go out tonight, monday and tuesday but sunday, friday and possibly wed and thur and next sat are empty so could be spend free.

    Usually go to sainsbury or tesco (or both) on saturday but went to market today. I have to say in all.honesty for a single person I didn't think it was great value but I will try it for a few weeks. See how it affects things. Was a bit of a boost to go and see. I might go early next week because it was so busy and aggressive, made Sainsbury's look very tranquil!

    Yesterday I ate whole family bag of crisps, (and it was amazing of course). Got just one in the cupboard to last till end of month. No other crisps are to be purchased! House Rule that I must stick to. I've got popcorn and chocolate and fruit, bread, cheese but crisps will be my downfall if I don't stop eating them so leaving this last packet till after pay day. This will help.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 5th Jun 16, 11:49 AM
    • 1,100 Posts
    • 4,148 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Yesterday had 4 cocktails, its probably 1 too many but it was nice to go out. £30 spent. I've got no idea if that's good or bad, seems quite standard for a saturday out. But obviously better avoided. should be the last saturday im out for a while.

    No plans today except to buy train ticket. How truly blissful! Going to watch telly and have a long bath. Thank god for small luxuries.
    Spaghetti bol for dinner.

    Then work tommorow and dinner with friend in the evening. Need to take lunch in. Its 3 weeks to payday. Im hoping those will be much quieter and go quickly.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
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