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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 779Posts
    • 2,284Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 31
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 15th Nov 17, 7:51 AM
    • 585 Posts
    • 2,234 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Cinema uses to be a cheap night out (when I was a student) it now has to be a real treat.

    Nectar points, vo surveys do cinema vouchers as one of their rewards, I'm sure clubcard do a cinema reward too. 2for 1 days.
    I'm trying to think if there are other ways to do a cheaper cinema trip.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 15th Nov 17, 8:21 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks. Iíll look into it but I donít have many Tesco points and was saving nectar points for when they do their offer in the summer with cinema tickets but will see if they do that now.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Working Mum
    • By Working Mum 15th Nov 17, 10:09 AM
    • 18 Posts
    • 26 Thanks
    Working Mum
    I love going to the cinema - places like Vue and C!ineworld cahrge about a tenner a seat - I have both an Odean and a Reel Cinema near me and pay £4 for an adult ticket on all screening.
    £4 is much more doable moneywise!
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 15th Nov 17, 1:24 PM
    • 4,679 Posts
    • 8,857 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Our Odeon is much cheaper than Vue especially if you choose a time which is not popular.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Nov 17, 6:38 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Thanks for all the cinema replies. My dh reminded me last night that he gets discount through his work so will see how much that brings it down to and look into nectar.

    I’m feeling very eager for dh to get paid so I can make some minimum payments, it feels like it has been ages! With Xmas shopping and events coming up , I’ve been too anxious to over pay anything.

    I am going to own up that I’ve been feeling quite stressed about money for Xmas and was tempted to do a money transfer that is on offer but I didn’t as that is what got me in the mess in the first place!! It’s too easy to do a money transfer but it just adds to your debt! I think having my debt logged on my signature really helped with my decision!

    Im feeling my food bill is quite high due to buying bits for Xmas and finding it hard to work out how much I’m spending. This week I’ve spent about £100 but it includes an ale set for a present, five choc tubes, 7 selection boxes, gravy and crackers so I suppose that’s not too bad.

    Have a nice day everyone.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 16-11-2017 at 6:43 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 16th Nov 17, 6:47 AM
    • 790 Posts
    • 3,824 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Morning debtagh , I feel the same about Christmas spending, this is my first Christmas in a very long time where I haven't used a cc to fund it . I am so worried about overspending , but hoping the preceding 11 months have helped me to be strong.

    I would just at your budget before you buy anything else and be truthful with yourself about the amount you have spent already and how much you have left and go with that.

    You aren't alone in feeling stressed about money at this time of year, plus we are all here to help you.

    Have a good day.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Nov 17, 6:50 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning debtagh , I feel the same about Christmas spending, this is my first Christmas in a very long time where I haven't used a cc to fund it . I am so worried about overspending , but hoping the preceding 11 months have helped me to be strong.

    I would just at your budget before you buy anything else and be truthful with yourself about the amount you have spent already and how much you have left and go with that.

    You aren't alone in feeling stressed about money at this time of year, plus we are all here to help you.

    Have a good day.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thanks. Iíve noticed some other posts where ppl are mentioning being stressed due to extra spending at Xmas. We put too much pressure on ourselves!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 16th Nov 17, 7:36 AM
    • 4,679 Posts
    • 8,857 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I think remembering that Christmas is not about spending or presents or overindulging in food and drink would help. Maybe I have been lucky but none of our family go overboard at Christmas. We do lots of family socialising and with friends with usually us all taking turns or all bringing something. I would hate to be stressed at Christmas whether about money or anything else. Give yourself permission to take it down a notch or two. It is not your role to make everything perfect and then you may feel more relaxed about it.

    Set a budget and keep to it and it is not the end of the world that there aren't 5 different sorts of cheeses or top notch crackers or whatever you tend to spend on.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Nov 17, 7:42 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think remembering that Christmas is not about spending or presents or overindulging in food and drink would help. Maybe I have been lucky but none of our family go overboard at Christmas. We do lots of family socialising and with friends with usually us all taking turns or all bringing something. I would hate to be stressed at Christmas whether about money or anything else. Give yourself permission to take it down a notch or two. It is not your role to make everything perfect and then you may feel more relaxed about it.

    Set a budget and keep to it and it is not the end of the world that there aren't 5 different sorts of cheeses or top notch crackers or whatever you tend to spend on.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver

    Very true!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 17th Nov 17, 10:33 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Good morning,

    Yay, itís friday!

    Got lots to do today:

    Hoover and mop
    Washing
    Pack items
    Reply to business questions
    Meal plan
    Check finances
    Wrap bday gift
    Decide on Paddington


    Have a nice day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Nov 17, 6:42 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    DH gets paid on Monday and I canít wait to start paying the minimums and changing my signature. Itís been a long time as I normally pay bits off but due to Xmas Iíve left it. Business has picked up a bit at the minute which is good as will help cover Xmas and you never know even maybe pay extra towards the debt!

    Today I need to:

    Pack items and post
    Washing
    Decide on Paddington - think we will go as dh gets it for nearly half price.
    Wrap bday present
    Complete nursery form
    Get dh to bleed radiators and sort leaky tap out
    Meal plan for month ( from pay day to pay day)
    Sort out excel
    Decide on next weekís job off long list
    Ds swimming and HC lesson
    Answer business question

    Have a lovely weekend everyone x
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 18th Nov 17, 2:22 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 5,295 Thanks
    117pauline
    Good Afternoon

    I think Christmas is a difficult time for so many people. I blame advertisers who constantly give us the idea that we will have the best Christmas ever, as long as we spend madly.

    I hate the idea that children are fed constant Christmas sale advertisements or shop displays from September. It misses the whole point of goodwill to all. It isn't all about the number of parcels you get or the value of the gifts.

    Good luck with the menu plan. I'm getting quite good at using previous ones so it can be done quickly. I have even got one for Christmas meals so I can get everything in. I can't buy treats though as I give in to the temptation of them being in the cupboard. We might be cooking the Christmas meal away from home as my partner's mum is having her hip replaced around the fifteenth.

    Your almost slip up with the money transfer shows your mindset is changing. You thought about it but didn't take it up. The debt accumulates over time and it will go in a similar way. It takes time and it can be really boring. However it will get better as the debt gets smaller. Good habits will have to be learnt and practised so it becomes second nature.

    I hope you are having a relaxing weekend, once you get rid of your To Do list

    Take care
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Nov 17, 3:16 PM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Good Afternoon

    I think Christmas is a difficult time for so many people. I blame advertisers who constantly give us the idea that we will have the best Christmas ever, as long as we spend madly.

    I hate the idea that children are fed constant Christmas sale advertisements or shop displays from September. It misses the whole point of goodwill to all. It isn't all about the number of parcels you get or the value of the gifts.

    Good luck with the menu plan. I'm getting quite good at using previous ones so it can be done quickly. I have even got one for Christmas meals so I can get everything in. I can't buy treats though as I give in to the temptation of them being in the cupboard. We might be cooking the Christmas meal away from home as my partner's mum is having her hip replaced around the fifteenth.

    Your almost slip up with the money transfer shows your mindset is changing. You thought about it but didn't take it up. The debt accumulates over time and it will go in a similar way. It takes time and it can be really boring. However it will get better as the debt gets smaller. Good habits will have to be learnt and practised so it becomes second nature.

    I hope you are having a relaxing weekend, once you get rid of your To Do list

    Take care
    Pauline
    Originally posted by 117pauline

    Thanks. I was pleased that I didnít do the transfer as itís too easily done.

    Thatís a good idea about the meal plan. I might do it on the computer and then save as a template and adapt it. Iíve handwritten one now until near Xmas!

    Nearly completed my list but did the hoovering as well and my business work took me longer than expected but I have made £150 of unexpected sales so I canít complain!

    Have a lovely weekend too .
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 19th Nov 17, 8:19 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Good morning,

    I managed to do everything on my list including completing the nursery form plus more. Yesterday was a very productive and frugal day but I do feel tired today and will give myself a semi day off.

    I do need to :

    Put washing away
    Make roast.... maybe
    Pack items to post tomorrow
    Make lunches for tomorrow

    We are going to the cinema but we will bring snacks with us.

    I worked out that I still need £400 towards Xmas and general semding for the rest of the year but Iím hoping to have made it by the end of the week. I then need about £400 for Decemberís pay so I really need to make lots and lots of sales. A lot of ppl say donít get into debt for Xmas which I completely agree with but Iím already in debt so should I not spend any money in my account on Xmas as that could go towards debt? This is the dilemma I find myself in regularly, should I have entertainment money when I have debt ( this money includes everything , hair cuts, school trips, sch fayre) when is it ok to spend money. I pay at least my minimums every month but try to clear more.

    Have a nice day x
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 19th Nov 17, 8:32 AM
    • 790 Posts
    • 3,824 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I have saved for Christmas through the year by writing down everyone I buy for and how much I want to spend on them , it also included birthdays, Mother's Day , Father's Day and a little extra . Then I split it on 10 payments Jan to oct. the November and December amounts have become my Christmas spends for meals and drinks out , and all the extras that happen at Christmas.
    I give myself £100 spends each month I use this for hair cuts , waxing and entertainment. I am lucky that I have a niece who does my hair for £20.

    I think even when you are in debt you need to set aside some spends, as I know for me I would give up completely if I didn't.

    Hope this helps.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 19th Nov 17, 8:42 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have saved for Christmas through the year by writing down everyone I buy for and how much I want to spend on them , it also included birthdays, Mother's Day , Father's Day and a little extra . Then I split it on 10 payments Jan to oct. the November and December amounts have become my Christmas spends for meals and drinks out , and all the extras that happen at Christmas.
    I give myself £100 spends each month I use this for hair cuts , waxing and entertainment. I am lucky that I have a niece who does my hair for £20.

    I think even when you are in debt you need to set aside some spends, as I know for me I would give up completely if I didn't.

    Hope this helps.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thatís how I feel, so nice to know itís not just me. Iím lucky that I have a friend do my hair for a tenner. I allocate £100 entertainment too.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 19th Nov 17, 8:50 AM
    • 790 Posts
    • 3,824 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I am sure other people will do or say things differently but this way has worked for me . It took me a while to get my head round things and I still have the urge to splash out ( apple gadgets being my weakness ) but I know it's not forever.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 19th Nov 17, 9:46 PM
    • 585 Posts
    • 2,234 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    I don't think you should or can cut your spending down to zero when repaying debts, you can't do 'boom and bust' it's about retraining your financial habits so you don't end up in the same place again. Be frugal, but realistic.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Nov 17, 6:05 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Dh has been paid today, which means I can actually make some payments towards the cc!

    I have a busy day today as I need to pop to town to pick up some prescriptions and then a friend over.

    To do today:

    Make minimums and update spreadsheet and signature
    Washing
    Collect prescriptions
    Post business items

    Thatís all I will realistically get done apart from the usual looking after dd, school runs, cooking dinner etc

    Have a lovely day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Nov 17, 7:03 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 2,284 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Minimums paid, I would have liked the debt to have gone down more but Iím being realistic. I might be able to make extra payments if my business carries on going well.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
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