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I'd just start buying my own stuff. Don't share. Let them drink and eat what they buy.2023 wins: *must start comping again!*0
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Have a word with your flatmate about his guest or you could stop buying food and drink.I'm sure that after a week or two the penny will drop and i know this from personal experiance.Very similar thing happened to me in the eighties,sharing a flat and others guests would turn up have food /drink then leave.What i did was stop buying anything and start eating out or have take aways,they soon noticed the difference and their guests soon dissapeared.As for going out with them the answers easy.........don,t,your missed contributions will soon register.A big plus for all of this is you could meet new people,maybe better people.0
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As others have said you should approach your flatmate about increasing his contribution or start seperating that aspect of your finances. If he chooses seperate the shopping and/or not ask her to cover the extra contribution he may come to realise just how much an extra person for dinner every night costs.0
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Make a suggestion to her whilst you're all eating together that maybe she could cook you all a meal or even better treat you all to a delivered takeaway at her expense.0
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Life is about enjoying situations and the people around you. No one ever looked back on their life and thought I wish I'd asked for a few quid off my mate because his girlfriend kept coming round, you remember the good times. Don't be so fixated on money, you aren't going to go hungry or default on the rent because of a few good times with friends. Just chill and know that all the good karma you're building up will definitely come back around and help you out in the long run.0
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thisisalwaysmyonlinename wrote: »Life is about enjoying situations and the people around you. No one ever looked back on their life and thought I wish I'd asked for a few quid off my mate because his girlfriend kept coming round, you remember the good times. Don't be so fixated on money, you aren't going to go hungry or default on the rent because of a few good times with friends. Just chill and know that all the good karma you're building up will definitely come back around and help you out in the long run.
That only works if you can afford to do that - and if you enjoy the company of the other person so much that the money's immaterial.
Some people WOULD go hungry "because of a few good times" - and the gf might not really count as "friends"... she's just the gf of the flatmate, we don't know how often he has those, or whether the relationship would continue if they moved out of the flat. It might be a simple "Flat sharing/don't really know you but this works for us both" situation, not besties.
I couldn't afford to sub somebody else's life choices.... and the flatmate is assuming that the OP will sub his choices, without asking.0 -
This, precisely. There is no conversation to be had between you and his girlfriend - she is an extension of, a proxy for, him. From your perspective, everything she consumes is logically something he consumes - in effect, the issue is him "costing" twice as much as you. If the way he wants to handle the problem is to get his girlfriend to contribute, that's his call.This is a conversation you need to have with your flatmate, not with his girlfriend. She isn't party to the agreement he and you have about sharing costs.
It may be that the time has come to change the arrangments about sharing costs, so you each buy your own, or you could ask hat you switch to a 2/3 1/3 split of joint costs to reflect the amount of time she is there.
Be prepared for your flt mate to ask you to chip in extra whenever you have a guest.
Whether you're right or wrong, you're on the wrong forum for that philosophy ;-)thisisalwaysmyonlinename wrote: »Life is about enjoying situations and the people around you. No one ever looked back on their life and thought I wish I'd asked for a few quid off my mate because his girlfriend kept coming round, you remember the good times. Don't be so fixated on money, you aren't going to go hungry or default on the rent because of a few good times with friends. Just chill and know that all the good karma you're building up will definitely come back around and help you out in the long run.0 -
you need to either suck up the extra costings or have a conversation about the extra expenses you are incurring
in a land of equality i am sure he would see it as ok0 -
Yes - it's weird that she's eating your food without contributing. As others have said, maybe time to start separating your stuff and just cooking for yourself :-(
The electricity, water (if metered), broadband / wifi, etc, I don't think you should / could ask for contributions towards, but food & drinks are a no-brainer in my opinion.0 -
I am guessing you both were single when you started living together? This is a common issue. When I started bringing my bf over to my shared house, I had the convo with my friend who said "2 nights a week" which was acceptable. He had his own place anyway, and he rarely spent much time at mine. However, its definitely a subject to bring up sooner rather than later, as the longer you let it be drawn out, the more difficult it will be for your friend to see your point of view because "its been going on for so long already, why bring it up now" scenario. Just be calm and try to be specific, so to allow understanding of the conversation which he may offer to contribute for her, or he will ask her to contribute, or he may ask her to reduce the amount of time shes over, reducing her eating up your food and drink! Good luck!0
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