Really need to sort myself out .. so so sad.

Hi sortinitout, sorry to hear things are tough. On the face of it it does appear as if bankruptcy would be the best solution for you. I understand wanting to pay the money back but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. It would be great if you could pay the money back but I think given the circumstances it's just not realistic for you right now and is causing you stress
Unfortunately I don't believe you meet the criteria for a dro as your debt is too high
Do have a chat with one of the charities though to go through things.
In terms of going bankrupt/affording the fees there are sometimes charities that can help with this - sometimes utility companies can help, ex-service people have charities that can help, some companies will help to pay for it etc. Have a look on the bankruptcy board as there was a thread with places that might help with the fees.
In terms of getting a job, it would be great to be able to hold down a full time job but obviously this isn't possible for you right now. Your health is the most important thing so start small even if it means only working for 10 hours a week or something. Your partner obviously understands that you are ill.
Hugs
df

You have already had some good advice. I just wanted to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Hi Sortingitout, sorry to hear your struggling at the moment, and well done for sharing your state of affairs, that takes some bravery

I wanted to say something about mindfulness as it's my area of study as an academic, and something I use personally. There are tons of resources that needn't cost you a penny.

Research has shown that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is as effective as anti-depressants for people with more than two bouts of depression, and is recommended by NICE as a treatment within the NHS. So what you're doing with Headspace is brilliant, and you can also get referred for a course of MBCT on the NHS. I would really recommend you ask your GP about this - it's not for use when you are in a major depression, so if you're feeling down but not out at the moment it's a perfect time to get referred.

There's also no need to pay for Headspace after the 10 days, you can keep using those 10 meditations again and again. I've had a three month trial, and you don't need the extra stuff, in my opinion; it's a lot of repetition. freebuddhistaudio.com is also full of mindfulness meditations, which are easy listening regardless of your religious beliefs (mindfulness comes from Buddhism, where it's been practiced for over 2,500 years). If you have a Buddhist centre nearby they may also run meditation courses on a donation basis (free to those who can't afford it, and again you don't have to be a Buddhist to attend), so something to check out.

If your library has either of these books with the audio cd of meditations, they are both great, and Mark Williams is a professor at Oxford and did the research I mentioned above: I'm not suggesting you buy these on your budget but check the library.
-Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world, Mark Williams and Danny Penman
-The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness, Mark Williams

In terms of your budget, this is what popped out at me:
- Perhaps you can do without TV, if you have the internet? That would save you almost £20/mth. I know you said Now TV is a treat, but you can probably find most things online or in the library.
-As someone else said, you're paying a lot for landline, phone bundle and internet. Do you need the calls bundle? Most people have skype these days and if your family have a bundle you could make an arrangement for them to ring you for a while. If you're partner's mobile has free minutes can you use those while he's stuck in the contract? My internet is only £12.50 plus line rental and there are others that are cheaper.
-Your food budget is a place where there is lots of potential to cut back - My food budget is £40/mth for me, and that includes meat and fresh veg etc from Aldi. If you try and slash your food budget drastically it will be really hard, but perhaps try to reduce it by £20 this month and then keep reducing it if you can. There are lots of debt-free wannabe challenges that include cutting grocery spends and they are great for moral support and motivation.

Hope something in there helps a little bit and good luck - now that you've had your 'light bulb moment' things will only improve.

Hi OP,

First of all you need to be claiming either JSA or ESA while you are not working, for the NI credits towards your pension even if you don't get any money (although I don't think your partners wage is too high so you'd get nothing). They do encourage you to work on ESA, my claim is only 3 weeks old and I've already had an interview at the jobcentre to see if there is anything they can do to enable me to work...they may be able to send you on courses to find something that will make it easier for you to work with your mental health. Also they allow you to do permitted work to find if you can cope with something before signing you off.

I suspect that the missing money is in your grocery budget...it's easy to lose money through little top up shops here and there.

I suggest you go onto envelope budgeting (which is what I did the minute I lost my job)....I literally carry around little envelopes with the different budgets in. Maybe try this at least for your groceries, withdraw £40 and then that is all that you can spend for the week, try spending less if you can.

Also, at some point you will run out of stuff to ebay. Do you do any surveys or anything? They can be a good way of raising a couple more quid.