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  • FIRST POST
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 11th May 17, 4:37 PM
    • 9Posts
    • 2Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    Would the CSA take my heavy goods?
    • #1
    • 11th May 17, 4:37 PM
    Would the CSA take my heavy goods? 11th May 17 at 4:37 PM
    I'm currently in 8k of arrears I've paid my ex around 5k but refuse to correspond with the CSA for time being. I have 2 little kids that I'm trying to get out of a council flat and my ex will never let me see my first born. She's refusing me access I'm refusing my money and yes I know it's 2 totally different things before I get people calling me dead beat I'm far from it.

    My only worry is they can take your drivers license... do you think they would take my heavy goods? There not going to make a doctor jobless by taking his job away so how can they mine??

    I plan on paying what I owe one day if she doesn't cancel the claim but that right now I'm working to get things in place for when the time is right. I haven't paid anything for 12 months and won't be for another 2 years or so.

    Thanks for any replies.
Page 1
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 11th May 17, 5:22 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    • #2
    • 11th May 17, 5:22 PM
    • #2
    • 11th May 17, 5:22 PM
    I've tried every way possible of seeing my son but she makes it impossible by moving and ignoring all messages I send....

    I will continue to pay when I'm in a better position of affordability.
    • NotSuchASmugMarriedNow
    • By NotSuchASmugMarriedNow 11th May 17, 6:17 PM
    • 530 Posts
    • 1,074 Thanks
    NotSuchASmugMarriedNow
    • #3
    • 11th May 17, 6:17 PM
    • #3
    • 11th May 17, 6:17 PM
    Why don't you pay your child support?
    Overactively underachieving for almost half a century
    • swingaloo
    • By swingaloo 11th May 17, 6:22 PM
    • 1,693 Posts
    • 3,031 Thanks
    swingaloo
    • #4
    • 11th May 17, 6:22 PM
    • #4
    • 11th May 17, 6:22 PM
    You don't intend to pay anything to support your children for the next 2 years.

    Who are you expecting to pay for your childrens then?
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 11th May 17, 7:55 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    • #5
    • 11th May 17, 7:55 PM
    • #5
    • 11th May 17, 7:55 PM
    Why would I want to pay my ex 40% of my wage when she hasn't allowed me to be a part of his life for the last 7 years.....

    If I can't play Dad I'm not paying To be Dad it's as simple as that!!

    Why do people think it's ok to force fathers to pay for there kids when the mothers have no intention of letting them play there roll! I'm guessing you are both in female who replied.

    Also I pay 1000 tax income a month before you try saying you pay for the child benefit.

    No access no money I don't I've 2 f"""s what the law says.

    Starve 2 kids in that live with me to feed 1 that doesn't even need my money.
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 11th May 17, 7:58 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    • #6
    • 11th May 17, 7:58 PM
    • #6
    • 11th May 17, 7:58 PM
    The day we split she stopped all access and kept relocating. She had another child with someone else and did exactly the same to him.

    3 kids 3 dads 2 without access and 2 CSA claims.

    She wants putting in prison for fraud and you ask why I'm not paying??????????
    • NotSuchASmugMarriedNow
    • By NotSuchASmugMarriedNow 11th May 17, 9:47 PM
    • 530 Posts
    • 1,074 Thanks
    NotSuchASmugMarriedNow
    • #7
    • 11th May 17, 9:47 PM
    • #7
    • 11th May 17, 9:47 PM
    You're not making any sense. In your original post you said you were going to pay in 2 years time but in your later posts you state your not going to pay. Anyway, you asked if they could take your driving licence away and the answer is probably not, so you're OK, you can continue to work and still not support your children if that's what your worried about. Although I'm surprised you haven't been the subject of an attachment to your earnings.
    Last edited by NotSuchASmugMarriedNow; 11-05-2017 at 9:54 PM.
    Overactively underachieving for almost half a century
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 11th May 17, 11:12 PM
    • 19,288 Posts
    • 31,118 Thanks
    Spendless
    • #8
    • 11th May 17, 11:12 PM
    • #8
    • 11th May 17, 11:12 PM
    I'm currently in 8k of arrears I've paid my ex around 5k but refuse to correspond with the CSA for time being. I have 2 little kids that I'm trying to get out of a council flat and my ex will never let me see my first born. She's refusing me access I'm refusing my money and yes I know it's 2 totally different things before I get people calling me dead beat I'm far from it.

    My only worry is they can take your drivers license... do you think they would take my heavy goods? There not going to make a doctor jobless by taking his job away so how can they mine??

    I plan on paying what I owe one day if she doesn't cancel the claim but that right now I'm working to get things in place for when the time is right. I haven't paid anything for 12 months and won't be for another 2 years or so.

    Thanks for any replies.
    Originally posted by Chewyclegnuts
    The day we split she stopped all access and kept relocating. She had another child with someone else and did exactly the same to him.

    3 kids 3 dads 2 without access and 2 CSA claims.

    She wants putting in prison for fraud and you ask why I'm not paying??????????
    Originally posted by Chewyclegnuts
    How has she got 3 kids to 3 dads, if you're the father of 2 of them?
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 12th May 17, 7:12 AM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    • #9
    • 12th May 17, 7:12 AM
    • #9
    • 12th May 17, 7:12 AM
    She has had a third child in a new relationship.... I have one child with her.

    As for the attachment of earnings they have done it when I've worked permanent. I gave it 12 months of paying 200 a week and messag d her daily saying I want to see my son if I don't I'm going to job hop...

    I would of gone through the courts but I can't afford 220 per hour legal fees.
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 12th May 17, 9:14 AM
    • 3,809 Posts
    • 10,502 Thanks
    Caroline_a
    My ex never paid anything for his daughter. I went through CSA but he kept giving up his job as soon as they caught up with him. However I never stopped him seeing her, he had her to stay half the holidays, etc etc. Had he put just 5 a week into a savings account for her, then she'd have had a nice little amount to go to uni with, but he didn't even do that.

    I see no reason why you couldnt do that for your child - you seem to think that it is penalising the mother by not paying. In the long-term you are penalising the child. Some father you are!
    • jondav
    • By jondav 12th May 17, 4:16 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 337 Thanks
    jondav
    My ex never paid anything for his daughter. I went through CSA but he kept giving up his job as soon as they caught up with him. However I never stopped him seeing her, he had her to stay half the holidays, etc etc. Had he put just 5 a week into a savings account for her, then she'd have had a nice little amount to go to uni with, but he didn't even do that.

    I see no reason why you couldnt do that for your child - you seem to think that it is penalising the mother by not paying. In the long-term you are penalising the child. Some father you are!
    Originally posted by Caroline_a
    I agree with the majority of this post except that last few words - double standards? What kind of a mother keeps their baby away from it's Father? And multiple fathers at that! These things work both ways!
    Edited to add: I have read your post and understand that your ex didn't bother to try and see his children which is terrible, but that is not always the case.

    OP I would simply ignore all of the usual "dead beat Dad" posters - they have no idea of the circumstances and simply jump to their own conclusions.....arguing is pointless, don't waste your time with them, concentrate on what matters.

    Just to add, I am a female and I am the partner of a man in a very similar situation to yours, so I fully understand how you feel.

    I would however consider what the above poster has said about keeping money aside for the child. I completely understand why you don't want to give the Mother money......because the child will never see it!

    But in the future, when access may have been restored, the child does need to know that you did care and did everything possible to try and see them (and also pay for them).
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 12th May 17, 7:12 PM
    • 3,809 Posts
    • 10,502 Thanks
    Caroline_a
    I agree with the majority of this post except that last few words - double standards? What kind of a mother keeps their baby away from it's Father? And multiple fathers at that! These things work both ways!
    Edited to add: I have read your post and understand that your ex didn't bother to try and see his children which is terrible, but that is not always the case.
    Originally posted by jondav
    Not quite sure if this was all aimed at me. My ex did see his daughter, but only because I pushed it and made the arrangements (often dropping her off myself - it was a long drive). The thing is, with both my ex and the OP's ex, you have to maintain the high ground. Despite no financial help from him when she was growing up, I bit my tongue regarding money, leaving that to the CSA who were spectacularly unsuccessful.

    You have to realise that this is about the child. If you pay money to your ex and it means that your child can now go on school trips that were unattainable before, or have a parent who isn't continually worried about paying the bills because she has a little cushion of money. If the mother doesnt let you see the child, then you will need to cut back and save like mad to enable you to go to court. It depends on how much you want it.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 12th May 17, 9:46 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 2,627 Thanks
    Loz01
    Why would I want to pay my ex 40% of my wage when she hasn't allowed me to be a part of his life for the last 7 years.....

    If I can't play Dad I'm not paying To be Dad it's as simple as that!!
    Originally posted by Chewyclegnuts
    Sorry but your child won't actually thank you for this when they are grown up - do you think your child lives on fresh air? Regardless of the fact that your child's mother has 2 CSA claims or multiple kids with multiple dads, that shouldn't mean YOUR child is affected. Paying nothing for 7 years isn't admirable - on the flip side, its not admirable for your ex to deny contact either, before you accuse me of being a female that is siding with another female. But as usual, the child is the one that suffers. I was a child of divorce and TRUST ME, this stuff weighs heavy on young minds.
    I get up when I'm down, I can't swim but my soul won't drown, I do believe, I got flair, I got speed and I walk on air
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 13th May 17, 8:43 AM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    I have paid 5 grand in 7 years and owe 10.......
    I think paying 5 grand for a child I've not seen since he was 9 months old isn't to bad...... i told the CSA put the money into an isa and I will pay it. I'm not willing to pay her to benefit her purse.

    I've decided to put 40 into a separate bank account which I'll have no access I'm going to do this weekly. If the CSA come at me at least I'll have some kind of offering.

    I'm not however willing to allow them to take what they want when they want. They don't know what I can and can't afford and they don't care.

    I've been totally blocked out of my sons life I can lot afford 220 an hour for a solicitor and I'm not being forced to pay to fund her life.

    Yes I owe a few years money but I'm owed 7 years lost time with my boy!! Who's going to repay me that????
    • pmduk
    • By pmduk 13th May 17, 9:23 AM
    • 7,176 Posts
    • 5,176 Thanks
    pmduk
    You do realise that there is an alternative for the CSA? They could summons you to a Magistrates Court for wilful failure to support the children. Continued failure to make payment usually results in a 42 day sentence (which doesn't wipe out any support owed)
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 13th May 17, 9:28 AM
    • 3,809 Posts
    • 10,502 Thanks
    Caroline_a
    You already owe 10k. That won't go away. If you really wanted to see your son you'd move heaven and earth to enable it. I had to when my ex decided he wanted full custody - it cost me 13k many years ago, and my ex nothing as full legal aid was available then. It took me a long time to pay it back but was worth every penny.

    The longer you do nothing, the less your child will think of you, but in the meantime he still needs food, clothing, housing etc. The maintenance money will only continue to mount up!
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 13th May 17, 9:43 AM
    • 576 Posts
    • 1,174 Thanks
    IAmWales
    I'm currently in 8k of arrears I've paid my ex around 5k but refuse to correspond with the CSA for time being. I have 2 little kids that I'm trying to get out of a council flat and my ex will never let me see my first born. She's refusing me access I'm refusing my money and yes I know it's 2 totally different things before I get people calling me dead beat I'm far from it.

    My only worry is they can take your drivers license... do you think they would take my heavy goods? There not going to make a doctor jobless by taking his job away so how can they mine??

    I plan on paying what I owe one day if she doesn't cancel the claim but that right now I'm working to get things in place for when the time is right. I haven't paid anything for 12 months and won't be for another 2 years or so.

    Thanks for any replies.
    Originally posted by Chewyclegnuts
    I can only imagine what your child thinks of you!

    Because that's what it is about, even if you don't see them now when you eventually do they'll know all about your refusal to pay. Your ex may not be acting fairly (and we can't say either way, given your attitude on here she may have good reason to deny you access) but ultimately it's you that is harming any hope of a relationship with the child.
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 13th May 17, 4:53 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    What my child thinks about me? My child doesn't even know I exist!

    &a prison? A life time in prison would be easier than a life time of paying look I want this thread deleting I'm not here to argue toss about the CSA.

    I'm not paying to be Dad without playing Dad it really is as simple as that. Prison lmao send me at least at there expense.
    • Chewyclegnuts
    • By Chewyclegnuts 13th May 17, 4:57 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Chewyclegnuts
    She denied me access the day we broke up. She carried on allowing my dad to see my so. For about 5 weeks after and I had to get permission of her to see my son with my dad.

    She's playing god with a child's life is all think what you like.

    I'm not dead beat I've been going no other option....

    You woman who class your careers as ill time mothers imagine being a Dad with no access for 7 years and have started a new family yet still being forced to pay out 40% of your wage after 20% tax then come moan at me.

    F""k the CSA I hope world war 3 one day breaks out because the first thing I will do is get a challenger 2 tank from the army and roll it straight into there offices.

    The CSA is a government funded scam I pay plenty enough income tax to cover the child benefit.

    F""k the CSA f""k this bent countRy this is my last message on this post.
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 13th May 17, 9:23 PM
    • 3,809 Posts
    • 10,502 Thanks
    Caroline_a
    What my child thinks about me? My child doesn't even know I exist!

    &a prison? A life time in prison would be easier than a life time of paying look I want this thread deleting I'm not here to argue toss about the CSA.

    I'm not paying to be Dad without playing Dad it really is as simple as that. Prison lmao send me at least at there expense.
    Originally posted by Chewyclegnuts
    Of course your child knows you exist, he surely doesnt think his was an Immaculate Conception?

    You have a child. The law says you are duty bound to provide for that child. The fact that the mother doesn't let you see him doesn't make it right that you don't pay.

    Yet another person who only want to hear what he things from forum members and as we are telling him things he doesn't want to hear he wants the thread deleted.

    As IAmWales says, your attitude on here is somewhat telling regarding why you have no access. As I said before, it's not about you, it's about the child. You just don't get that.
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