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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 2,971Posts
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    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 66
    • monz
    • By monz 18th May 17, 3:47 PM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 7,671 Thanks
    monz
    fingers crossed!!!!! when is her next appointment?xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,781.18/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots (surveys ) 50/50
    sisters xmas vouchers topshop (surveys ) 0/30
    Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/25
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 18th May 17, 4:15 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thank you, me too! Not sure yet Monz, she's got to wait for it to come in the post. She's hoping it will be a few weeks as it takes her about 3 weeks to feel better after each session.

    She's been amazing though - so calm and positive. Even losing her hair didn't faze her x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • monz
    • By monz 19th May 17, 10:20 AM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 7,671 Thanks
    monz
    She is inspirational xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,781.18/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots (surveys ) 50/50
    sisters xmas vouchers topshop (surveys ) 0/30
    Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/25
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th May 17, 12:27 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    She's been amazing

    Well it's payday today and I'm very excited to be able to put a chunk into my savings and another chunk to NZ savings

    My parents struck again last night by transferring us some money as in their opinion our lounge carpet looks shabby. We went with the free flooring Persimmon offered and it's not the best quality but it's only been 6 months! The plan was always to upgrade as and when we could afford to but you'd think it was the end of the World the way my dad was talking. I was quite upset. I know he means well but it felt like a bit of an attack. Am i being ridiculous? We were a bit naive as we picked cream carpets which already have mud ingrained from removal men (don't ask!!), niece sick and OH has a habit of dropping food which then stains - like curry . They are more like felt than carpet and don't come up well with a carpet cleaner but it'll do for a bit longer. We are certainly not replacing 3 floor of carpets within 6 months. We can't afford to and to be perfectly frank, I don't want to! 3 of the bedrooms have barely been walked in so they look fine and I'm not being told otherwise!

    Sorry for the strop there

    OH and I are going to have a weekend watching the V8s (he pays a membership fee which is about £30 a year and he gets access to stream the races or replay them the next day so he is a happy bunny - all he will need is snacks whilst he watches - cheese puffs, less than £1 so I'm happy too )
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 19th May 17, 12:54 PM
    • 2,425 Posts
    • 18,478 Thanks
    sashybo
    Ah Kirsty, I can see why your parents saying/doing that would be annoying - it's your carpets and your decision after all!

    We too have cream/oatmeal coloured carpets that we got free through the builders but have been lucky that they actually seem fairly good quality and come up well when cleaned.

    Good news on being able to transfer money to savings rather than debt. Also good to hear about your MIL.

    Well done on having the money discussion with your OH. My DH will agree with me when we discuss money/debt/budgeting and mostly "gets" it but then every so often he'll want to spend money we don't have on things we don't need and I have to pull him back a bit.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8720 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £44,562.82
    Loans 1 & 2 £4407.44, CC BT £475, Car loans £24,819.31
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th May 17, 1:08 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I think that's the problem Sashy, they seem to think (or rather my dad does) that it's a joint decision between us and them...
    Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for everything they do, but I guess this is where my control freak tendencies come from

    I fear I will need to have these conversations regularly with OH but at least he gets where I am coming from
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th May 17, 1:06 AM
    • 10,473 Posts
    • 69,440 Thanks
    Bobarella
    I'd be cross about the carpet too.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th May 17, 10:02 AM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thank you - I had wondered if I was over reacting but everytime I thought it over to see if I was I just got angry again

    OH is off to get his hair cut for the first time in 10 weeks - he looks like no one owns him and as it's only £7 I'd prefer if he spent the money and looked a bit more presentable

    My sister has offered to do mine again when I want so will have to arrange a date as it's getting out of control now - my hair struggles to hold colour so it's back to blond on the ends and still shades of darker further up - my own very random take on ombre I suppose. Needs sorting anyway, I don't look particularly professional with my multi coloured lions mane!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • monz
    • By monz 22nd May 17, 11:58 AM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 7,671 Thanks
    monz
    I think that's the problem Sashy, they seem to think (or rather my dad does) that it's a joint decision between us and them...
    Originally posted by kirtsypoos
    I totally get you on that one... joint but aka theirs! xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,781.18/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots (surveys ) 50/50
    sisters xmas vouchers topshop (surveys ) 0/30
    Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/25
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 22nd May 17, 12:30 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    They mean well but argh!

    We have officially started on the first step towards decorating over the weekend (no actual decorating done but wallpaper and paint purchased in preparation ) We were told to wait 6-12 months before decorating and it's been over six months now so I'm excited to be able to get started shortly. Only one room at a time - save, buy the stuff, do the decorating then save for the next room.

    NZ fund is looking healthier after payday. Still a way to go, but better than it was looking

    I've started my bank switch to FD so that money will be going into NZ savings too also contemplating switching our joint account to TSB to get that switching bonus and reward, but not sure if I'm going a bit switch mad?? x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 22nd May 17, 12:43 PM
    • 816 Posts
    • 1,621 Thanks
    Kitten868
    I believe I am all caught up. My advice rebaby making is not to stress about it. Don't buy ovulation tests and take your temperature. You can only have the baby you're supposed to have and this month or that month might not be the right baby. If you can get in that mindset you'll fair better with it all. It is really hard and do heed medical advice of when you need to get help etc. but relax. If you both enjoy it scientifically it's proven to be more successful
    So impressed with your amazing financial strides. and I'm still in trouble for not buying the house my parents wanted so I feel yput pain xxx
    Loan 1 £7100/£8000
    Loan 2 £5100/£5800
    Total £12200/£13800 12% PAID
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 22nd May 17, 1:54 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I've been wondering how you're getting on Kitten How's the house?

    Please don't think I'm being rude by saying this, but the biggest annoyance I have at the moment is people telling me to relax - I am doing temping and OPKs - as advised by the doctor and to be honest doing them have been a godsend - I know exactly where I am - which months my body is doing what it's supposed to and which it's decided to act up for whatever reason.
    When we first started trying (before we even said out loud that's what we were doing ) we were chilled out but now I wish I'd started tracking sooner as my system wasn't doing what it was supposed to and that alone stressed me out. I feel much calmer now I can pinpoint what is happening. It's definitely what is right for me, at the moment.
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 22nd May 17, 2:17 PM
    • 3,330 Posts
    • 28,603 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Kirsty - come and decorate my house once you've done yours. I just really can't be bothered
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 23rd May 17, 8:00 AM
    • 10,473 Posts
    • 69,440 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Kirsty - I know it's not the same, but it took us a year to conceive DD after literally coming off the pill and being pg in 1 month with DS. I felt so alone for that whole time. I couldn't tell anyone IRL and don't think I mentioned it here either. I got as far as having a scan to check my ovaries were ok and the next step would have been to get DH checked. And a month later we were off.
    I haven't forgotten that feeling at all. Even though the doctor was very reassuring saying that up to 18 months is considered normal, I felt so bad. So I do know what you are saying and I know you have had much more cause for worry than that too.
    Do whatever makes you feel best.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 23rd May 17, 8:57 AM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thank you Bob - I suppose I need to remember that 12-18 months is normal under 'normal' circumstances - I think I'm over-worrying because when the gynae originally said within 2 years, that was almost 2 years ago and I'm paranoid I missed my chance.
    I'm so sorry you felt so alone though. It is such a difficult time. I kept it to myself for the first 5 months, then I joined the TTC thread on here but I was so paranoid that someone might see my posts and figure out from my username that it was me, I didn't even admit to the lovely ladies on there that we'd been trying already, just that we were about to start paranoia central!

    I spoke to a friend about it in March and since then I've just found it easier to talk about it rather than worry about it myself. Plus OH finds the ins and outs of my cycle off putting to say the least and I need to talk about it - I'm very much a talker when it comes to problems.

    There are people I regret telling. My dad is one but he and my mom turned up to visit just as I found out another month hadn't worked and I was in a bit of a state so I couldn't hold it in - far too emotional for my own good.

    Speaking of, I have been in since stupidly early this morning just watching the news and reading online articles about this latest terror attack. They are always devastating but this one seems particularly cruel - to target a place which will be largely filled with kids is beyond comprehension.
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 23-05-2017 at 9:34 AM.
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • monz
    • By monz 23rd May 17, 9:31 AM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 7,671 Thanks
    monz
    <3 keep your chin up love it will happen xxxx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,781.18/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots (surveys ) 50/50
    sisters xmas vouchers topshop (surveys ) 0/30
    Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/25
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 23rd May 17, 10:13 AM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Monz just having a bit of an emotional day with everything going on x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • XSpender
    • By XSpender 23rd May 17, 11:29 AM
    • 2,591 Posts
    • 26,729 Thanks
    XSpender
    Hi Kirstypoos

    I have spent the last few days reading your diary and am amazed and so impressed with what you have achieved while buying a house, twice!

    DH and I merged finance quite quickly but we were both up to our eyeballs in debt so it didn't matter much. He has never had anything to do with the account (his choice) and I would rather he was more involved so that when he wants to buy something for the house or spend more than our personal spends he can see it is not in the budget (I am a YNAB obsessive ) and I don't have to say no like a parent to a child which sometimes means I say yes and mess up the budget.

    Good luck with the baby making. I have 1 child conceived through IVF after one attempt. We tried for nearly 3 years but time was running out for us as I was 39 when we conceived. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility although a few years later I was diagnosed with Coeliac disease which can cause infertility if not treated. What used to wind me up along with the 'it will happen if you forget about it' comments were the anecdotes about people who had kids later, in their forties, but they had already had a family naturally when they were younger so obviously didn't have fertility problems. Getting preggers is such an easy thing for most people that they don't know what to say when others struggle.

    I should mention that DH says that the reason we got pregnant on our first IVF attempt was that I had just ran a marathon a few weeks before we started treatment so was as fit as a lop but I wouldn't recommend that as a strategy
    PAYDBX 2017 #99 from 4/5 - £2664.28/£10,000 26.6%
    Total Owed £39,547.78 May '17 Total owed July 17 £36883.50 Savings goal £1000 EF - £400
    DFD - May 2021 goal Feb 2020
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 23rd May 17, 12:48 PM
    • 2,971 Posts
    • 13,203 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Wow XSpender - thank you so much for reading my ramblings! I hope it wasn't too much of a trawl for you.

    I know exactly what you mean about saying no like a parent - that's how I feel with OH sometimes and how wonderful that the IVF worked on your first attempt, I'm sure it didn't hurt that you were so fit, but I'm not convinced I'd ever have it in me to run a marathon - I struggle getting my daily steps in most days

    Unexplained infertility always strikes me as a strange one - most people I have spoken to who were diagnosed as unexplained later found they had a non reproductive disease which had or could affect fertility - you would think more research would be done into other areas before a 'diagnosis' is given.
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Tinkerbelle2000
    • By Tinkerbelle2000 23rd May 17, 1:16 PM
    • 552 Posts
    • 1,953 Thanks
    Tinkerbelle2000
    Wow, wow and wow Kirsty. I've only been gone a month and look at everything that has happened, I'm in shock but I am soooo pleased for you. Nearly DF and all those lovely holidays booked.

    I'm going to keep everything crossed for the baby making, you deserve this so much.

    So, I'm back, hopefully to stay. I'll catch up with my diary tonight as I have lots to tell, some good some not so good but for the best.

    How are the little ones? I bet you are still having lots of cuddles thought and I bet they aren't so small anymore.

    Take care.

    Tink xx
    LBM 11/08/15 - Total Debt Owing:- £10338.89 01/11/16 - £13996.57 01/12/16 - £13062.92
    DEBT 1 = £104.63 DEBT 2 = £853.00 DEBT 3 = £297.41
    DEBT 4 = £725.02 DEBT 5 = £166.10 DEBT 6 £700.00
    DEBT 7 = £1324.59 DEBT 8 = £3150.00 DEBT 9 £22419.88
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