MSE Pregnancy Club 28

14834844864884891084

Comments

  • Auntiepickle, no one can force you to do anything, it's your choice. Why are they wanting you to have a c section? Is it to do with your surgery?

    I don't want any vaginal examinations - for personal reasons. Even the thought of them freaks me out.
    Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock
  • Hi all,
    Long time away but only cause finishing work and then getting used to life at home.
    Princess kate not me having induction. I'm still just waiting out my girls for another 2weeks.

    All good here - have been doing all the washing for the babies - there is so much to wash. Glad it's all done now though.
    Next steps is to just reorganise some parts of the house so we can have change stations etc upstairs and downstairs so not needing to go up/down all day.
    Then need to crack on with setting up girls bedroom and our bedroom.

    Spent a few hours in hospital on Friday night - but thankfully everything ok. Was so lovely to see new mums and dads heading home with their babies. Although a bit of reality seeing women coming in with contractions. They did so well - I can see me being less gracious about the whole experience.

    Hope you have all had a great weekend.
  • Always_Alone
    Always_Alone Posts: 166 Forumite
    edited 15 February 2015 at 12:52PM
    Hi everyone, hope everyone had a fabulous V Day, last ones for us all before babies arrive and it's all about them!!

    Auntie P, I'm so sorry the doctors aren't being very supportive. It's absolutely your right to have your baby as you choose. Please don't be railroaded into something you don't want as it will stay with you forever. Are OH or your family able to fight your corner with you? Although, have just seen your post this morning regarding internal examinations and unfortunately they are part of a vaginal birth :(

    Hope you're enjoying the time with your mum Mrs TM.

    Glad you made it out of the bathroom and to work Milly! :rotfl:

    Hippaz, I had my nhs antenatal class yesterday, asked my midwife at my last appointment (approx 31 weeks I think) and had it at 34+2. It was a 10-4 session and I have to say very informative and useful. Midwife led the session very well and was able to answer any queries/worries people had. Altho my classes with my ds were rubbish so I think it very much varies from area to area bad even MW to MW.

    Huge congrats Sulphate, hope you're enjoying being a mummy

    Missy, I'll be 35+5 at my nxt appointment do not massively early and coincidentally when I had ds! I have an awful feeling that this one might arrive even earlier so keeping everything crossed!

    Glad to hear everything's ok Carrot, hope twinnes are doing ok

    As for me, V Day was a washout, woken by ds at 4am to tell me he loves daddy not me, day long antenatal class and a romantic evening at out of hours with ds!

    Hope everyone's having a relaxing Sunday.
  • Although, have just seen your post this morning regarding internal examinations and unfortunately they are part of a vaginal birth :(

    The thing is though, VEs may be "standard/normal/usual/common place" etc but I know of plenty of women who have had vaginal deliveries, assisted by "normal" midwives, who have declined VEs and so haven't had any. So they are not 100% for all vaginal births. There are actually several other methods of assessing the progress of labour that are well researched and documented.

    It is, however, more their attitude that I am struggling with. I already suffer with anxiety and depression. This is one aspect of giving birth that is increasing my anxiety. I don't want a c-section.
    If they had listened to and acknowledged my reasons (instead of dismissing them) and I had been able to have an open discussion with them, if they had offered to go away and read more about these other methods and speak with other midwives who may have experience etc.. if they had then come back to me and said something like "we have tried really hard to think how we can accommodate your preferences as we know this is really important to you. However, unfortunately we just don't feel that we have the appropriate level of knowledge (etc) to be able to manage your birth safely without doing VEs" - if they had said that then I would at least feel supported and could maybe engage in some discussion about how best to manage things.

    The fact that they dived straight in with saying that I would have to have a c-section and that I am "refusing to co-operate" (that's a direct quote) is hardly sensitive, respectful or helpful.

    :(
    Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock
  • hippihaz
    hippihaz Posts: 115 Forumite
    Thanks for the update on the antenatal class Always_Alone and Missymoo, I've got my midwife appt on tuesday, so will ask about what I can book in my area then. I expect they do vary a bit from place to place but feel I should probably give one a go!

    Hope you manage to get things sorted Auntie Pickle, its a shame they haven't done like you said and had a sensible pro's/con's discussion, can you request to have a second opinion to discuss with another doctor/midwife?

    xx
  • sulphate
    sulphate Posts: 1,235 Forumite
    Thanks for all the messages of congrats

    Missy moo what would you like to know re labour? Happy to divulge!!

    One tip I would give is that by all means make a birth plan but don't be too attached to it, be prepared that things might happen and you don't end up following it. This isn't a bad thing, but it becomes necessary to do whatever required to get baby out.

    Aunts pickle I admit to not knowing anything about vaginal births without examinations but I suppose the main concern would be, even if there are midwives who know other methods of assessing labour, as it's not standard procedure you may go into labour and have someone on shift that knows nothing about the procedures. Also, this may not be possible in your case but in some labours they have "just" student midwives delivering babies who definitely wouldn't have the knowledge.
  • Big congrats sulphate - so jealous! I was looking forward to us having a fight to the bitter end of who would go more overdue and then you go and deliver a few days early!! Hope all went OK and that you are adjusting well to life as a mummy. Would love a bit of info about your birth story if you are up to sharing.

    I'm 40+4 today so not terribly overdue but Brits do have a tendency to think of the EDD as set in stone - I have been the receiver of many a message asking if baby is here yet. Do you know what, if you haven't heard from me - either I'm overdue and fed up, in labour or have had baby and I'm not up to informing the world! I know it's nice that people care but seriously making me feel like a failure as I haven't gone into labour yet!! Doesn't help that the midwife started me on an induction pathway on Friday at only 2 days over! Do they have no consideration for how mums-to-be are feeling mentally?? I know all she did was fill out a form and give me a leaflet on induction but all came across a bit assumed and I'm considering declining induction anyway if it comes to it which at least she was OK about when I suggested going for increased monitoring instead. My head has been all over the place and I've been in tears most days but dusted myself off today and went shopping for lots of nice things now the house decorating is done!

    Mrs TM can I ask if you have considered what you will do if you go overdue? I know they don't seem keen on letting you have a home birth if you are 2 weeks over but then your midwife seems very supportive!

    Aunty Pickle - I'm so sorry to hear you are not feeling supported. I don't know for sure but I thought you could decline VEs and they could still just treat the labour as normal? In all honesty I don't see what difference it makes how dilated you are etc if everything is progressing well - you'll get there eventually. I'm astounded that they would be favouring a c-section over other ways of assessing progress of labour. Are you able to get any literature together and make a reasoned argument at your next appointment or request a different midwife/consultant (not that you should have to of course). What would they do if you just stated 'minimum VEs' in your birth plan and then just refused them when it comes to it? They can't do them if you don't consent. I do hope you get it all resolved - you've had such a rollercoaster already.

    Always-alone, sorry to hear your V day was a washout. I don't do much to celebrate myself but poor you and ds troubles. I'm sure you're the favourite come another day!

    Good to see you carrot - how exciting getting everything prepped for twinnies!

    Well I've got 5 days until my next midwife appt so best get bouncing on the gym ball!
  • Mrs_T_M
    Mrs_T_M Posts: 2,039 Forumite
    Mrs TM can I ask if you have considered what you will do if you go overdue? I know they don't seem keen on letting you have a home birth if you are 2 weeks over but then your midwife seems very supportive!

    I start getting sweeps on the day I'm 40 weeks, and we will go from there. I'll agree to extra monitoring daily (they will have to come to me though) after 42 weeks to keep from having an induction or c-section if needed.

    I'm having a ton of braxton hicks though, so I doubt I'll go over, and if I do, I'm not expecting to go too far over, maybe a few days.
    Baby Dale
    26th January 2014 - Forever in our hearts
    :A
    Eli Gabriel 19th February 2015
    :j
  • Bubblepops
    Bubblepops Posts: 104 Forumite
    edited 15 February 2015 at 8:26PM
    *waves and brings cake*

    Sorry I've not been about much-I've been reading, but not up to commenting. Hope everyone is as well as can be-hugs to those that need them, hi to the newbies. and congrats to you, sulphate, how exciting! (Don't think I've missed any other babies?)

    aunty p I'm so sorry that you're feeling so let down by midwives at what should be such a happy time. I hope you don't mind me asking-do you have a CPN/key worker that can maybe explain the importance of catering to your MH needs to tell midwives, as they will be focussing on the purely clinical side? Don't feel you have to answer, but it maybe something to. Think about -I've had something similar recently and they were able to step in and fight my corner.

    Sorry for the lack of personals-it would take me forever to catch up, but am reading and thinking of you all.

    AFM-:eek::eek: when did I get to third in the list?! Only five weeks to go, lots of decorating to do, and I haven't finished packing my bag yet. My heads been on a bit of a wobble, and I've had the dreaded lurgy, along with what may be suspected epilepsy (worse than it sounds). EDIT: NOT as bad as it sounds!

    My OH is off for half term now, so hoping to get loads done this week

    On the plus side, we have been discharged from consultant care-bump is growing fine, pressure in her cord has gone back to normal, and we have the go ahead to plan for a water birth in the birthing centre.


    Xx
    'By all means let's be open minded, but not so open minded that our brains drop out.'
  • Birth story please sulphate, I want to know everything!!! :p
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards