DMP Mutual Support Thread - Part 12

[Deleted User] · 8 September 2017 at 10:04AM

Bewildered_Banshee wrote: »

Hi
Not of a wobble!!
Just started my dmp with step change so letters have just gone to creditors. I've had 3 calls today from Tesco bank one of which was to work! I've now spoken to them and withdrawn my acceptance of telephone calls.
Tonight Nationwide have rang OH re setting up a direct debit on his c.c (he isn't in my dmp) is this coincidence or are they trying to check him out.
He knows all about it and it is my debt so feeling quite !!!!!! about the impact it has on him.

I thinl wobbles are normal at the outset, lots of things happen for the first time and it throws some of us into anxiety mode. It's fear of the unknown really I think. Things will straighten themselves out given a little time. Try not to worry too much. You've done the right and sensible thing embarking on a DMP so should feel proud of yourself.

It's good that you told Tesco not to contact you by phone:T. They should stop that now and letters are far less bothersome than phone calls as at least you have time to decide what to say in response instead of being flummoxed by having to deal with things straight away when being phoned. I used to hate being caught off guard by phone calls from creditors. It was such a relief when they all stopped after starting my DMP:j:j:j

I think Nationwide were way out of order contacting your OH if he isn't part of your DMP or maybe we are both assuming wrongly that it was something to do with it. It's probably their normal procedure with card payments, they prefer DDs to othe forms of payments, and the call at this time was purely coincidence. Having said that though, I've been with Nationwide for over 4 years now and they've never phoned me about a single thing. Do you and OH have any sort of joint accounts? If not and also, as you said, he isn't part of the DMP he shouldn't be impacted at all by your debt situation.

Bewildered_Banshee · 8 September 2017 at 10:29AM

Thanks for the reply carbootz.

We have a joint mortgage with the Nationwide so are linked that way.

Maybe it is coincidence but they've never rang me ever and I haven't paid them this month, so very odd.

How long does it take to settle do you think? step change have now written to creditors?

Am I ok to say to anyone who phones to put it in writing?

Thanks for your help.

[Deleted User] · 8 September 2017 at 11:01AM

Bewildered_Banshee wrote: »

Thanks for the reply carbootz.

We have a joint mortgage with the Nationwide so are linked that way.

Maybe it is coincidence but they've never rang me ever and I haven't paid them this month, so very odd.

How long does it take to settle do you think? step change have now written to creditors?

Am I ok to say to anyone who phones to put it in writing?

Thanks for your help.

In my experience all my creditors accepted the proposals when Stepchange contacted them. A few of them never contacted me about it although they obviously accepted what they were being offered. I'd just leave it for a while. There's no hard and fast rule about how long these things take. Now it's with SC, just let them handle it. You'll hear soon enough if anyone isn't prepared to play ball although. from what I understand, it's very rare that they don't. As it's still early days and SC have just written to your creditors there might well be letters in transit that you'll receive. Some departments are very slow to catch up on events, things never move very quickly in these cases. If anyone phones during the transition stages just tell them SC are handling your affairs and give them your SC reference number. That should keep them quiet.

If any of your creditors phones about anything when you are on your DMP just do what you did with Tesco and tell them that you will not accept contact by phone and they should communicate with you in writing. They should accept this. Make sure you respond to their letters, although so many are just computer-generated and only worth binning and it's hard to know sometimes what needs a response and what can safely be ignored. If you receive anything you are doubtful about please come on here and tell us about it. Someone will always be able to advise you what to do about it.

Good Luck:beer:

Suseka97 · 8 September 2017 at 2:38PM

Bewildered_Banshee wrote: »

Thanks for the reply carbootz.
We have a joint mortgage with the Nationwide so are linked that way.
Maybe it is coincidence but they've never rang me ever and I haven't paid them this month, so very odd.
How long does it take to settle do you think? step change have now written to creditors?
Am I ok to say to anyone who phones to put it in writing?
Thanks for your help.

Firstly, well done for taking the step to sort out your financial affairs and as carboot says, sit back and let SC handle things from now on. Also, again to reiterate what carboot has said - don't be surprised if over the next few days/weeks - even months, you receive letters from your creditors asking you to pay up or contact them. This is normal practice and many, if not most, will be automatically generated as soon as your account goes into formal arrears. if you're concerned about the content at any point, just pop back on here and we'll help.

It takes a little while to get your head into the DMP mindset - but it will all settle down and you can get on with living rather than worrying about being able to make ends meet each month.

Good luck with it

Suseka97 · 8 September 2017 at 2:51PM

Rebeccadougherty wrote: »

Hi SuseKa97
Yes you're correct I didn't know if there was anything else I should be doing, as all I'm doing is paying Stepchange and trying to save. I've just made my third reduced payment. I didn't know if Sourcrates meant do I have any other plan. Stepchange said I couldn't do any more that 3 reduced payments although I really wanted to do 5. Emergency fund is still too low, always seem to be new things cropping up to pay for latest thing is a massive leak in the house which is gonna be expensive to fix, and my boyfriend and I, who I haven't told about the debts yet, are moving house at some point so I'm worried about not finding a josh straight away as we are moving to Northampton. I'm starting to feel really low about the whole DMP

It's disappointing that they won't give you more leeway - but the fact of the matter is, if you can't afford the DMP payment then your I&E needs redoing. I know it's hard -but I would encourage you to talk to your boyfriend and open up about this, because its not going away. The reason I'm in a DMP is because my OH took out quite a bit of credit without my knowledge (at the time he had about 6 credit cards :eek:). I should have realised something was up when he would dash to pick up the letters falling on the doormat and the fact he was struggling to sleep and suffered with very bad mood swings - all directly related to the amount of stress he was putting himself under.

When he finally confessed (at a time he was at breaking point) - yes, I was cross and yes, we did have a row, but I listened to him and supported him. It was me who then researched what I thought were his options and it was only when he contacted SC, who then started to quiz him about my financial situation (admittedly at the time I was non too pleased) that I soon realised that the only way forward was for us to do this together.

Now I'm not suggesting you need, or should have, a joint DMP -but he deserves to know the situation and it will help you handle this in the longer term. As to what happens if you move and don't get work straightaway - well then SC will have to suspend your DMP. You can't give what you don't have.

Rebeccadougherty · 9 September 2017 at 1:18PM

Hi SuseKa97
Why do you have to have a DMP If they're not your debts? I think I've just been super bad at budgeting, I'm getting better but it's hard. I know really I should tell him but I don't want him to think bad of me or decide to leave

I don't want him to pay anything, I want to do it myself, I just don't want anyone else to know

Suseka97 · 9 September 2017 at 2:29PM

Rebeccadougherty wrote: »

Hi SuseKa97
Why do you have to have a DMP If they're not your debts? I think I've just been super bad at budgeting, I'm getting better but it's hard. I know really I should tell him but I don't want him to think bad off me or decide to leave I don't want him to pay anything, I want to do it myself, I just don't want anyone else to know

It wasn't just his credit card debt, he had loans too and I had a personal loan and one credit card. Back then we had separate bank accounts, because we are both on our 2nd marriage and kept our finances separate (but shared bills etc.) because of previous family (financial) commitments. Anyway - to cut a long story short, we are a partnership and having considered the options at the time, it made sense to add my debts and my income to a joint DMP. Doing so meant we were set to be debt-free in 5 years, it would have taken him a lot longer to have done it alone -and that just wouldn't have been right. I just wish he would have told me much sooner than he did and maybe the starting debt would not have been so high. But that's all in the past - tackling this together has brought us closer and I now manage all the household finances, so were never going back.

Clearly your situation differs from mine - all I mean is that if you tell him about your situation he might be able to help support you through this. You have sounded quite anxious in previous posts and you're worried he might find out anyway. But only you can decide and you need to do what's best for you. Whether you tell him or not - you'll get lots of support from us fellow DMPers

dynomot · 10 September 2017 at 1:01AM

I am in debt up to the proverbial eyeballs and like lots of you here have nothing really to show for it. I kept my personal debts secret from my wife, managing to pay my half of the bills by using pay day loans credit cards (so not at all managing really) How I got into this mess is really beyond me. It has caused me many a sleepless night, lost lunchtimes at work working out what creditor I could pay with what other creditor.

Anyway last Saturday (2nd September) I contacted StepChange after spending another sleepless night worrying. They were and are being fabulous, and told my wife. She was obviously furious, she was scared and angry in equal measure and while she is not scared anymore and is less angry but is supportive if somewhat hurt by my furtiveness.

To cut a long ramble short I am personally in debt to the tune of £28,000 this is two loans, three credit cards, four payday loans and two overdrafts. It, according to StepChange is going to take 5 years 11 months to pay off. None of the debt apart from the overdraft in the joint account is jointly owned by my wife. While there is no good thing about being £28,000 in unsecured debt (5K more than my annual wage last year) I realised I had a problem and must face up to it before it affected the mortgage or other household bills. In our brutally honest conversations this last week my wife said if it had affected the mortgage she would have taken the kids and left me. She meant it as well, I don't blame her.

So StepChange have said a DMP is my best course of action. I gave them ballpark figures last week and updated it today with bang accurate ones. I am awaiting my DMP pack. During the course of this week I have opened a new bank account, cancelled all the direct debits in my old account. Switched my mobile phone contact direct debit to my wife's account (she has agreed to pay this for me) and stopped all four CPAs for the pay day loans. I told my bank to do this and they have. I still have to tell all my creditors I am entering a DMP which I shall do tomorrow.

I feel relieved that I have done this and have taken the first step to being debt free, but mostly I feel incredibly guilty and ashamed, not to mention incredibly stupid. However I don't feel I am living scared all the time.

I have a couple of questions. StepChange have advised me to also change my wife's and I's joint account as it has an overdraft which I half own. We will do this, not a problem. However our existing bank (HSBC) also has my wife's personal account, our mortgage one of my loans and one of my credit cards. She doesn't want to change her bank account, but will if there is any risk of the HSBC chasing her for my debt. Is it possible they will hound her for my debt or want her to pay up the overdraft in the joint account ? We will obviously continue to pay the mortgage every month from the new non HSBC joint bank account, my own new Bank account will have wages going in, a payment to StepChange once a month and a Standing Order to pay my half of the household bills once a week after I am paid.

My other question is my wages vary quite alot. Sometimes there is overtime to be had at work and sometimes not (I've always asked for any going). I do "call" for work twice in every eight weeks for a week. This can dramatically increase that weeks wages or not depending how busy I am on call. There is no predicting it whatsoever. StepChange have basically said my monthly pay should be based on my basic salary after tax and NI. This means some weeks there will be sometimes a fair bit more money after paying the bills and my DMP's quarter (I know some months have five Fridays as well). Can I (shoud I?) give any surplus to StepChange to pay my creditors more that month. StepChange say I can, but it might make my creditors question why I can. As I said there is no way I can say in any month period if I'll be paid more or less than any other month. I just know (happily) that whatever I earn will cover all my expenses. Can I save any excess and when it is enough completely pay off a creditor ? I'm a little confused here surely that would affect my DMP?

Anyway I've rambled enough. I'm glad I finally faced up to my debt problems and reading this thread actually makes me feel rather humble, some of you are battling real problems and fighting to save your marriages and homes. Good luck and keep plugging away. I'm a firm believer all of here in this thread will one day be debt free.

[Deleted User] · 10 September 2017 at 6:11AM

:wave:dynomot. Welcome to the thread and massive congratulations on facing up to your debt problem and taking the very important step of seeking help:T:T:beer:.

I know how hard that first step can be, I was forever living in a dream world that however bad things got (and oh boy, they certainly did get bad:eek:) something would miraculously 'turn up' in the nick of time. It didn't of course, I had to continue 'robbing Peter to pay Paul' whenever bills came in until that awful day when I was so backed into a corner that I had absolutely no way of paying for even the most basic groceries and all my cards were overlimit:o. The embarrassment of my card being rejected at the corner shop till (where all the staff know me)!. I laughed it off a couple of times, but I had to admit that I'd reached rock bottom.

I had never heard of this support thread then and dived head first into my DMP with Stepchange (who, like in your experience, were wonferful). If I had been more savvy I would have done what the wise people on here advise and delay the DMP start until I'd built up an Emergency Fund for backup. Not having access to any credit is a massive shock to the system and I hadn't cut myself any slack in my budget to allow for anything unexpected that life could (and did!) throw at me. I was hell-bent on paying the absolute maximum towards my debts and get them paid off in the shortest possible time. Not the best policy.

Missing payments was anathema to me, I'd never missed a payment pre-DMP, even though they were the bare minimums that I paid. I didn't have a single penny in savings. The general concensus on this thread is to delay the actual start of your DMP for at least 3 months, stop paying your creditors so you can get some savings together. Nothing terrible will happen and it will make DMP life easier. I really wish I had done that.

Also, please take Stepchange's advice about the amount of money you state as your monthly salary. You should only declare the amount that you are definitely guaranteed to get. The extra earnings are variable and not guaranteed so if I were you I'd keep quiet about them and save the money towards an Emergency Fund or to use as final payment figures for some debts in the future. You don't need to mention any of this plan to Stepchange;).

I am somewhat concerned about this joint overdraft with your wife. Is there any way that it can be paid off and not be part of the DMP? I say this not because of HSBC chasing her for the debt (I have no knowledge of how banks operate , sorry:o) but because of the impact the DMP will have on her Credit File/score. I'm sure you will have realised that your own record will be trashed by a DMP (all of us have the same problem) and getting things like new phone contracts or mortgages would be very hard if not impossible. It would be ideal if her ability to get such things was unimpaired. I'm assuming it is a DMP solely in your name but credit reference agency files show 'Financial Associations'.

I hope someone else will come along later to address this subject as my own knowledge of joint debts is very sketchy. All my starting debt of nearly £57000 were my own doing:o:(:eek:

In the meantime I wish you and your wife the very best of luck:beer:. Please post whenever you'd like something explained or just to tell us about how things are going.

fatbelly · 10 September 2017 at 7:38AM

dynomot wrote: »

I have a couple of questions. StepChange have advised me to also change my wife's and I's joint account as it has an overdraft which I half own. We will do this, not a problem. However our existing bank (HSBC) also has my wife's personal account, our mortgage one of my loans and one of my credit cards. She doesn't want to change her bank account, but will if there is any risk of the HSBC chasing her for my debt. Is it possible they will hound her for my debt or want her to pay up the overdraft in the joint account ? We will obviously continue to pay the mortgage every month from the new non HSBC joint bank account, my own new Bank account will have wages going in, a payment to StepChange once a month and a Standing Order to pay my half of the household bills once a week after I am paid.

My other question is my wages vary quite alot. Sometimes there is overtime to be had at work and sometimes not (I've always asked for any going). I do "call" for work twice in every eight weeks for a week. This can dramatically increase that weeks wages or not depending how busy I am on call. There is no predicting it whatsoever. StepChange have basically said my monthly pay should be based on my basic salary after tax and NI. This means some weeks there will be sometimes a fair bit more money after paying the bills and my DMP's quarter (I know some months have five Fridays as well). Can I (shoud I?) give any surplus to StepChange to pay my creditors more that month. StepChange say I can, but it might make my creditors question why I can. As I said there is no way I can say in any month period if I'll be paid more or less than any other month. I just know (happily) that whatever I earn will cover all my expenses. Can I save any excess and when it is enough completely pay off a creditor ? I'm a little confused here surely that would affect my DMP?

The reason why you need a new bank account is because of the right of set-off. Stepchange should have explained this. Martin does so here

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/setting-off

You need to know this because your new bank must not be connected, even by a 'family' relationship, to your debts., e.g First Direct = HSBC.

Stepchange are right to base your payment on your basic wage and right to say that frequent higher sums will cause issues. However, you are in the enviable position to be able to save a fighting fund on the side and pick off creditors by full and final settlement at significant smaller sums, maybe 50%, maybe smaller, eventually.

A dmp is an informal solution and, from the info you give us, the right one for you.

DMP Mutual Support Thread - Part 12

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