Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

liltdiddylilt · 3 December 2013 at 4:17PM

So... I did have a diary. I didn't do all that well with it. It was dedicated to keeping my debt free hat on. I'm lucky and happy to say that I have, in the last few months managed at least that. I may not have all the savings I was hoping for but I still have a cushion and my income still exceeds my outgoings. With a little nudging and help from people on here, I am hoping that 2014 will be the 'Year of the Saver'.

So, why did I ditch that diary and start a new one? Because I am no longer that person any more I suppose. I am Lilt 2.0. A little battered and bruised, with a hugely broken heart right now.

Old diary held news of me, Jellytot (small girl, 20 months old now. cheeky, adorable, my world!) and 'him'. Him decided around the end of September that he no longer feels the same. To say I wasn't expecting it is an understatement. After a couple of weeks apart, then a week of 'trying' which was excellent, he disappeared with a friend to London on a boys weekend, and the same 'trying' person did not come back. He was in fact so horrible, that I decided maybe it wasn't worth putting my heart into the mix to get it broken over and over. It wasn't my wisest decision. Self preservation on my part pushed him further away, though that was by no means entirely my fault, and on the 2nd December he moved home to his parents.

I personally don't think he is coming back. Time and distance are healers, not well known for making people fall in love. With that in mind, I have put my epic organising and prioritising hat on. Jelly and I shall not want for anything without him. Tax credits, council tax, broadband and now BT TV have been sorted out. I'm £90 per month better off between the tax creds and council tax. I've earned £150 cashback and £100 Mr S voucher for doing something I have wanted to for a long time (BT Infinity).

I spoke to the health visitor ref Jellys welfare in turbulent times, and she is happy but coming out next week to see us. Her name is 'Joy' and I'm taking that as an omen. Childcare provisions are made (Him will be coming to my flat Weds morning and either staying overnight for 2 nights [hope not] or leaving and coming back each day the same way) and I am looking at a days nursery place, as apparently I am now entitled to 70% towards my childcare because I work 24 hours a week. There are some plus sides to having always been the breadwinner.:T

I've got my lovely parents coming next week and they are helping me to decorate my bedroom, put curtains up finally(!!!) and make it look a bit different now that it is just mine.

TODAY I am putting up the treeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Oh goody, how many baubles will Jellytot break in the next few days whilst I am at work!:rotfl:

My lovely rock HeadAboveWater

, KillerPeaty

, NinjaSavingKat

- thank you for your support. Sorry I haven't been here, but I promise to make time on here a priority now!

apple_muncher · 3 December 2013 at 5:06PM

Lilt, what a time you're having. Wow you are amazing in doing so much with your 'mse' head on.

:T:T:T Congratulations on becoming debt-free:T:T:T

I hope 2014 is a year of things falling in to place for you, of great fun and joy with jellytot and peace for you.

killerpeaty · 3 December 2013 at 7:44PM

Aww lilt, lil jellytot and yourself make a great little family.

And if you ever need a pick me up...

:rotfl:

Mrs_Cheshire · 3 December 2013 at 7:53PM

You sound very positive given the situation. I shall be following this new diary to see how your getting on. Hope you and Jellytot have a fabulous christmas

HOK3Y · 3 December 2013 at 8:02PM

Oh major hugs to you. You sound truly grounded though. I wish you strength, peace, and everything wonderful for both of you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and never doubt your power as a woman and a mother. You are a lioness and don't ever forget that! Love and luck to you. X

Doodles1971 · 3 December 2013 at 8:26PM

You sound like a strong woman, keep smiling and it sounds like you've got things sorted. Good luck for 2014

please-let-me-be-lucky · 3 December 2013 at 10:06PM

Aw lilt, sorry times have been turbulent. You and Jelly will be just fine though and will be best buds together.

Nice to have you back. Xx

HeadAboveWater · 4 December 2013 at 10:06AM

Good to have you back lilt

Exactly as HOK3Y says: never doubt yourself.

You are sooooo much stronger than you realise. I know you will get through this, and anything else life would chance throwing at you. And with Jellytot by your side the journey will be full of adventures. And broken baubles probably!! :rotfl:

One step at a time.

*hug*

liltdiddylilt · 10 December 2013 at 8:05PM

Hello all.

Thank you so much for popping in. I appreciate all the well wishes and just wish I felt as strong as I know somewhere inside I am...

Today the health visitor came. Less worried about jellytot and more checking that I am okay which I thought was very sweet. An hour of chatting about nursery places and how to build myself up & do the things that I need to do for myself rather than continually thinking about Him and his needs. It was nice to see and speak to someone who firmly believes in me and everything I am doing for my daughter. It was also lovely to be told that she is thriving and flourishing on the care I am giving. She isn't worried about the fact that jellytot has not physically put her 'Mr Bear' down for any more than 2 minutes (apart from bathtimes) in the last week and a half. I think I need to find a replacement. He is beginning to resemble a strangled chicken from her firm neck grip on him!

Received my working and child tax credits notification for my single claim. A nice surprise. I don't ever need to post an SOA any more thank goodness. Lets just say thanks to our slightly screwy benefits system and 9 months of maternity leave last year, until April 2014 my income, (including my salary from work) will far outweigh the outgoings. Bring on saving that 'cushion' up a bit further and maybe even saving for a holiday for me and jelly next year.

That's one sigh of relief anyway...

My parents have been here since Saturday. They leave tomorrow night. Dad has been 'fixing' me via the medium of DIY. An endless list of things have been sorted out. I've got CURTAINS in my bedroom again!!! (The old curtain track collapsed on me at the same time as my marriage). Mum has fixed me with good food and a lot of ironing. She's also helped me paint my bedroom a lovely selection of creams, browns and cappuccino's. One more coat to go and it will all be completed. I have to say, I'm looking forward to sleeping in there tomorrow night (parents have had my room since Saturday!) with new bedding, pretty cushions, matching bedside lamps, my lovely rug suddenly tying in nicely, and all of my pictures of my beautiful girl up on the new walls! I feel like I have reclaimed a piece of my home from Him.

Off to sort out some Christmas shopping online. Tomorrow I somehow have to sort out my entire family 'oop north' for Christmas in time to send back with my parents!

Hope you all have a lovely evening. I'm off to make a cuppa and open the miniature heroes!!

please-let-me-be-lucky · 10 December 2013 at 11:19PM

All good stuff lilt. You WILL get through this even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. You just have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and more importantly you have to believe in yourself Xx

heyjude2013 · 10 December 2013 at 11:30PM

Wow what an inspiring diary already!

You sound like you're being so positive! Bet you can't wait until tomorrow night in your new bedroom! It's so important to have your own stance where you can just relax - enjoy, I'm sure you deserve it :-)

Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

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