parents full time working

tooldle · 6 September 2017 at 8:37PM

The company should have a policy on time off to care for dependents. This is likely to be where the solution lies, although also likely to be unpaid. Friends of mine working in the nhs get two paid days per annum for this. Where i work it is unpaid, although someyimes a blind eye is turned.
Is thete any sort of flexi time arrangement in place?

iammumtoone · 6 September 2017 at 8:43PM

I had forgotten about parental leave that is a good point, not sure if I could afford it but its at least there if needed.

I still have to find/arrange childcare now for the holiday that wouldn't be any different just it would be needed for longer hours. Son spends all the time asking when I am coming home so whoever looks after him will just have to endure that for longer. Its not going to be nice for him as he refuses to go out anywhere in case I come back whilst he is gone. But having said that hopefully by the time the next holiday is here we might have got help to help him cope.

It is difficult as I am forced to make a final decision now this job or dole

I wish I could try the job for a few months and if we (my son more than I) couldn't cope with it leave but if I do that I wont be entitled to JSA as I will have left a job.

iammumtoone · 6 September 2017 at 8:45PM

tooldle wrote: »

Is thete any sort of flexi time arrangement in place?

No no one has flexi arrangements its not something that is done unfortunately.

fishybusiness · 6 September 2017 at 8:49PM

But then other/plenty of parents do work full time I am sure whether they have a child with issues or not they would still prefer not to.

We work and have an Aspergers child.

Previously we lived off benefits, I was being treated for the big C and my partner, who is also Aspergers was claiming ESA.

We work for ourselves so sometimes late home. Mornings we get little un off to school, then get ready for work and often don't get out until nearly 10am.

After school....we pay for a local lady to pick up little un and look after her if we are home later. Lady isn't registered for childcare but is trained in ASD so we trust her and her home is familiar - we can't claim back costs.

After reading the whole thread I'm thinking how the heck do you look after yourself, perhaps that is the key to job/ life/ home balance.

There are two adults in our house, I don't know I could do all you are planning alone, do understand your needs and wants to work.

Yes, cleaner is a great idea too. Ours tidies up, hoovers, puts washing away, does many of the jobs we don't now have time for. She is weekly for 2 hours, sometimes we beg for an hour more, it really does make a difference.

Spendless · 6 September 2017 at 9:03PM

Suggestion for dental appointments, could you book you and your son into consecutive time-slots? So that if you have to leave work slightly early for your appt, your son is having one at a similar time. You might need someone to accompany you though if he wouldn't be able to sit still through-out your own appointment.

I work full-time, though mine are now teenagers. The 2 biggest time consumers I find housework wise, are what I call the 'washing and the washing up'. That's all apsects of doing the laundry and all aspects of meal times. Keep on top of these two areas and the rest is a lot simpler.

onomatopoeia99 · 6 September 2017 at 9:15PM

iammumtoone wrote: »

How do you do homework? I will not get home until 6.30 then will have to sort tea straight away with everything else bath etc not sure where the time comes in for this?

When I was at school, I did my homework, not my parents. They had no input into it other than "Have you done your homework?" (I always did, no tantrums about it, ever). You should be able to ask your child that when you get home.

My mum didn't go back to work full time until my younger brother started secondary school and was home by 5pm, about 15 minutes after me and before my brother, who had a longer bus ride so no childcare required in our case and we just got on with homework. Dad stayed in full time + overtime (2h+ every night when available) all the time I was growing up, until he retired, so he often would get home at 6.30pm-7pm. We literally lived outside the factory gates though, so their commute was short!

Tigsteroonie · 6 September 2017 at 9:19PM

Oh, and most of our shopping is online as I'm not fond of shopping at the best of times! Tesco do our main deliveries, Groupon for toilet & kitchen roll, Amazon for presents. About half of our clothes are purchased online, the rest are a Primark blitz twice a year. But then, you have to be in to receive deliveries ... catch 22 ...

Spendless · 6 September 2017 at 9:28PM

I'm really pleased for you that you seem to have been offerred a new job. I've read many of your posts and was aware that you were worried about losing your current job. I just wanted to say well done :T

iammumtoone · 6 September 2017 at 9:34PM

He does need help with homework, this is because the majority of the time he is not sure what/how to it as he has missed that bit of the lesson and no classmates around to check what they are doing. What he will do at school when has has missed/not understood something is look at what everyone else is doing and work it out from that. On the plus side this is only for a year at secondary school I believe they have homework clubs where it can be done.

Spendless - that is a brilliant idea about dental appointments

fishybusiness - currently my time is the hour I have between leaving work and collecting him from school. I have been fortunate to have this up until now its somethings all parents would value. I also have time when he sees his Dad although this is not relaxing as I am always on edge waiting for the phone call/door bell that father can't cope with him so he is back home.

I do work full time now on occasions to cover holidays, it is very hard as sons behaviour gets a lot worse but that I believe that is due to a change of routine. I hope I am right in thinking that once he gets used to it, me working full time will be the routine.

iammumtoone · 6 September 2017 at 9:41PM

Spendless wrote: »

I'm really pleased for you that you seem to have been offerred a new job. I've read many of your posts and was aware that you were worried about losing your current job. I just wanted to say well done :T

Thank you. Yes I am pleased, it is a good job no more benefits so no need to make the dreaded move to universal credits when it comes in either!

I have have not decided 100% I think I said in some way I wish this opportunity hadn't come about as I would have gone onto JSA and we would have had to manage (never satisfied me :rotfl:) One advantage of not working I was looking forward to was being able to concentrate more on my son needs which I hoped would help him but on the other hand it will help him me not being stressed about how to pay the next bill - its not an easy decision.

parents full time working

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