parents full time working
Comments
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UPDATE:
I spoke to gingerbread (so many thanks to spendless)
I now have more urgent concerns after speaking to gingerbread and explaining my situation it seems I have done wrong and in am the brown stuff
Apparently if I am offered the job and refuse it I will not be able to claim JSA :eek: as I will have turned down a job, this is not allowed (I knew this but didn't think it applied here as thought it only applied to jobs you have applied for when on JSA, I am still working my notice)
I need to contact the company and withdraw my application. I have no choice I have not finalised my childcare arrangements or made a final decision on whether this is right. I can not risk them officially offering me the job, my original thinking was I could turn it down at any point up to my leaving date buying me time to sort/trial childcare and make the right decision.
I am absolutely gutted and thoroughly disappointed I have just turned down a potential 15K payrise.
I need to work but more than that I need a back up plan of JSA I can't survive without either and I cannot risk losing the chance of JSA whatever the carrot of the job. My son has to come first I needed more time to make sure this happens (I was working towards that) but it seems in this situation I am not permitted time. I am so so mad at how our benefits system works, those who what to try, seem to be prevented from doing so.
The very worse thing about this is if I am out of work for 13 weeks and then decide to try full time work I would be allowed to apply to have a trial period but this does not count in my situation as I am not out of work! I will not find a job that pays this again this it was a unique opportunity. It stinks I feel so despondent.
For the original question would I have been able to give the job up if I started it the answer is in theory yes but in practice very difficult. There are allowed reasons but all have to be proved (which can be difficult as you are relying on the DM to accept the proof and your reasons). A risk I feel I could not take they did say if I claimed DLA :mad: then this would have helped in supporting this situation.0 -
What a difficult decision to make. My view is that you should take the job, just because say you end up on JSA, can't find another part-time job, end up pressured to take any job by the job centre, you could end up in a position you hate, hardly making any money, looking back and thinking that you could be so much better off.
The reality is that it will most likely be difficult for both you and your son to start with. You will both have to adjust to the change and the tiredness that come with it, but you also need to look at it longer term. As you say, he will be in secondary school next year, and the things that he is not able to manage currently, maybe he'll be able to learn to manage by then. Think about the next few months, but also the next few years.
As for not getting JSA if you quit, all I ever read is that they look at individual circumstances, so what I would recommand is that you keep a record of everything so that if you have to give it up, you can explain the reasons for it. I believe they are much more flexible with single parents and after all, you'll be able to show that you made that decision to take the job in the first place, so it's not like you don't want to work.
They are many 'tricks' you learn along the way and speaking with other parents in a similar situation. One thing I've learned is that services never offer last appointments, however, if you explained nicely that you work FT and it is difficult for you to make the time, and look/sound very apologetic, it's amazing the slots that suddenly become available! I had this with the physio department when DD needed weekly appointments, same with orthodontist, dentist, and even tradespeople!
Whatever you do, good luck!0 -
You are making lots of assumptions about what your new employer would and wouldn't allow.
If you are hard-working, respectful and diligent employee, on the whole businesses may be willing to cut you a little slack.
Have you actually spoken to your boss and asked them? For example, if you took off 4 hours for an appointment, they may just allow you to put it as unpaid leave.
There are 'the rules' of the business and then there is always what actually happens. If you are they type of employee they want to keep, they may be happy to help you out a little.0 -
You are making lots of assumptions about what your new employer would and wouldn't allow.
If you are hard-working, respectful and diligent employee, on the whole businesses may be willing to cut you a little slack.
Have you actually spoken to your boss and asked them? For example, if you took off 4 hours for an appointment, they may just allow you to put it as unpaid leave.
There are 'the rules' of the business and then there is always what actually happens. If you are they type of employee they want to keep, they may be happy to help you out a little.
I was not making assumptions about what my employer would accept I was going by the worse case scenario. Yes I could ask them, they could tell me what ever they liked but unless they put it in my contract they could go back on their word at any time and I would only have employee rights to fall back on, any thing more than that is a bonus and not to be relied upon. Plus when you are applying for a job its not generally good practice to start asking what additional time off you are allowed.
I don't think I ever started that my employer wouldn't cut me slack I was asking what others did in this situation - of which I got some very useful answers.0 -
I have decided that at this time this is not right for me or my son. We have had three whole days with no tantrums lasting more than half hour. This is the longest we have gone without one for at least 10 weeks. I do not want to disrupt that by upsetting him, his well-being comes first.
However after this thread I am no longer as worried about full time work as I was when I first started it. I am going to find my son a childminder he is happy with (this might take some time) and keep him going to them at least once a week even if I am not working, then if the next job I get is full time it will not disrupt him so much to just increase those times he will already know and be familiar with them. I regret I could/should have done that before now but I did not expect this situation - you live and learn.0 -
I do understand where you are coming from, but a decision on, ifs, buts any maybes is never going to be an informed decision. If you have been offered the role, there is no harm in asking questions before making your Decision.
Perhaps i have misunderstood. Have you been offered the role, or is this just a hyperthetical scenario?0 -
I do understand where you are coming from, but a decision on, ifs, buts any maybes is never going to be an informed decision. If you have been offered the role, there is no harm in asking questions before making your Decision.
Perhaps i have misunderstood. Have you been offered the role, or is this just a hyperthetical scenario?
I do not want to go into too much detail. I have not been officially offered the job but due to the circumstances and amount of people that have applied a job has to offered to me. There are x amount of jobs with the same amount of applicants (others who were entitled to apply haven't for various reasons) Unless I am totally unsuitable, which I am not, I will be chosen.
Please do not quote the above as I will delete.
I did ask so many questions about working times before we got to this stage so many in fact they had to tell me in no uncertain terms that the jobs are full time no negotiation that is what they need and that is what it will be
to be fair they are right the job is very involved it will be full on full time. 0 -
What's stopping you claiming DLA? From your posts your son has care needs above his peers.
The right award would entitle you to Carers Allowance and you could have a pt job on top.
There really is nothing to lose by applying.0 -
What's stopping you claiming DLA? From your posts your son has care needs above his peers.
The right award would entitle you to Carers Allowance and you could have a pt job on top.
There really is nothing to lose by applying.
He won't get DLA as he shows no issues/problems at school.
I had a thread regarding this you can still read it but I asked for it to be closed. I was not in a good place at that time mainly as I was really struggling to cope. As said above this is the third day no massive tantrums (we have only had mini ones less than 30 minutes) things are looking up, I hope and pray it will continue.0 -
He does have enhanced care needs at home.
You also said recently he was unable to communicate his toilet needs at school. That is a problem at school.
You've also said he is undergoing more assessments? That's all evidence for DLA purposes.
If the claim is failed you can take it to an appeal tribunal, where you can clearly explain why he still needs it despite no problems at school. Although I'd argue as he was unable to communicate toilet needs at school, he is not problem free there.
I know you feel he won't get it, but why not try anyway? Again, nothing to lose by trying.0
This discussion has been closed.
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