Removing my Ex

K.A.P · 12 January 2018 at 4:36PM

He isn't her dad, we never had children together thank god

Comms69 · 12 January 2018 at 4:50PM

K.A.P wrote: »

The money i don't care, if it buys our freedom from him that is fine. It is the gagging order that bothers me, he can only tie me but he is trying to make me not tell or he wont let me buy him out the house.

The law is useless, he had a restraining order whilst he was on licence but now he is just on the list there is no such order, (this i was only told last week).

He has made it clear he can contact us, this we don't want. But have to sort the house or we will be tied to him forever

You can get a non-mol if you want. BUT maybe do that after the house is sorted.

If you aren't planning on telling anyone then just get the non-disclosure agreement sorted.

K.A.P · 12 January 2018 at 5:07PM

Does he have to sign that, I was thinking of going along the lines of getting him to sign to say basically if he leaves me alone i will leave him

Comms69 · 12 January 2018 at 5:18PM

K.A.P wrote: »

Does he have to sign that, I was thinking of going along the lines of getting him to sign to say basically if he leaves me alone i will leave him

No, a non-molestation order is an order made by the civil county court, but a breach of which is a criminal offence.

It is made under the family's act, (s 44/45 I believe)

What you propose has absolutely no legal basis, don't make up agreements which can only be used against you

moneyistooshorttomention · 12 January 2018 at 5:43PM

Sounds like you really do need to see a solicitor and have them explain your options to you. Maybe one of those that say they specialise in family matters?

I'm guessing one of the first questions to ask them about this gagging order would be how long it would be valid for. The second question being as to what would happen if you "spoke out".

K.A.P · 12 January 2018 at 8:29PM

I have a friend who is a conveyancing solicitor who has been helping but its not her field, just feel like its all mind games atm from him.

If i issue a C100 i think it is to force the sale how long does that take? we have offered the full amount he is entitled too

I have paid the mortgage for 7 years independently, maintained the house and paid the maintenance fee for the house

So i have been more than fair to him, regardless of what he did x

TBagpuss · 12 January 2018 at 11:16PM

I think you should talk to a solicitor who specialises in ToLATA cases. This may be a family solicitor but will more likely be someone whose specialism is Litigation.

Dos he have access to any funds to buy you out? If not, then if you were to apply to court and offer to buy him out at open market value (which is sounds like your £33K offer is) then it's likely that a court would agree that it was appropriate for you do do so. Worst case scenario you might have to look at marketing the property for a set period of time to see if any other offers were received.

Agreeing not to mention his conviction - this strikes me as extremely dodgy and something you would need proper legal advice about.
I am not sure whether such an agreement would be binding - it might be considered contrary to public policy, for instance. Wording matters. There are lots of situations where it might be wrong for you not to say anything (if you learned of circumstances where a child was likely to be at risk, for example). You might also need to disclose at least some information to other agencies such as your daughter's school or doctor, so if you go ahead, do make sure that the wording used lets you provide as much information as is needed for anything of that kind, and also explicitly allows you to speak to police, probation, child protection/childrens services etc

Do you have any evidence of his demands? Has he put anything in writing (including text messages etc) saying he will let you buy him out if you don't disclose his criminal conviction?

If so, then I would double down on the advice to talk to a litigation lawyer about forcing a sale to you, and forget the idea of a gagging order altogether. If he is trying to coerce you as his price for buying him out (on top of the cash value of his interest) that might be relevant to a court deciding whether to order a sale or a transfer.

This s a complex situation which covers more than one area of law and you should not even consider it without specialist legal advice.

Also, if he wasn't a specific order or agreement, he can pay for it. You don't want a gagging agreement, why would you pay for it?

Ms_Chocaholic · 12 January 2018 at 11:18PM

Does his Probation Officer know he runs a licensed premises and will have contact with children as a result of this.

Ms_Chocaholic · 12 January 2018 at 11:19PM

Another difficulty with the gagging order is that your daughter may speak out about him, not sure of your daughter's age at the moment, she has maybe not reached that age yet.

moneyistooshorttomention · 13 January 2018 at 8:06AM

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Another difficulty with the gagging order is that your daughter may speak out about him, not sure of your daughter's age at the moment, she has maybe not reached that age yet.

Which she has every right to do - her life and so her decision.

This is another reason to consult an appropriate solicitor though - to be quite sure that daughter "living her life" doesnt affect OP "living her life" - ie that any gagging order would only apply to OP and not to her daughter.

My feeling is that the law would probably reckon that any gagging order would apply to a child up to a certain age and then it was accepted that the child was a "person in their own right" and parent no longer had any legal responsibility for them (or their actions). I'm guessing that that "certain age" would be 16 (the age they can legally marry with parental consent) or 18 (when they are an adult and surely the parent could no longer be held responsible for their actions or make decisions on their behalf).

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Removing my Ex

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