Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

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  • Feeling sick of my life right now :( :mad: :(

    I think I should try selling stuff on ebay, but the idea intimidates me. I don't know whether it will stress me out so much that it wouldn't be worth the hassle. I have a few things that would be best sold on ebay rather than elsewhere — a gold bangle and Jacques Vert shoes and handbag — but dealing with fees and postage scares me. Maybe I could convince my mum to help me, but she doesn't have much time and is more of a technophobe than I am! I need someone who is confident and motivated to help me, but unfortunately the other members of my family don't possess both qualities.

    I'm sick of being on benefits and sick of being in debt. I need to make drastic changes, but I don't know how. The only way I can come off ESA is by having either reliable income of at least £80 a week or savings of at least £1000, which would provide a buffer for 3 months.

    I wish I had someone who could hold my hand and help me through all of this. I feel so isolated in my situation, despite living with my parents. I'm afraid of trying something drastic, like finding a seasonal job for a couple of months or even part time work, because I'm afraid it will destroy me if my mental health interferes with my ability to keep the job. I feel stuck.
    Rainy day fund — 210/1000 Emergency fund — 1019/1500
    Loan — 424/19,224 = 2.2% Fun fund: 1/100 Credit card balance — 0
  • bellevie
    bellevie Posts: 871
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    edited 8 November 2015 at 4:34PM
    Im so sorry that you feel so low.

    Have you thought about volunteering - if for example in a charity shop? You could perhaps explain your situation and that you may need to take it slowly so once a week for a couple of hours to start with - I know it wont mean an increase in income but if it gets you out of the house a little and allow you to build up the confidence in yourself? Edited to add, there are other ways of volunteering, if you know a local dog walker that could do with the company, or animal shelters, food banks etc.

    Do you have any self employed friends that would allow you to volunteer for them, so that you have a link ie they know that this would be a trial and not rely on you too much to start with? That would mean let pressure on you and allow you to take things at your pace.

    With regards to Ebay - start with one thing at a time, you could also arrange collection only listings - if you have a local facebook group they tend to be collection only so only go out to the local area and of course no fees!
    MFW
    Starting debt :£287,410 -11/2020

    2022 Closing balance £271,402.45 

    2023 closing balance £263140


    Original end 11/2045 
    New end date :....... 

    Overpayments to date £514.4 (1/24)



  • Hello ABA,

    So sorry to hear about your situation and low mood. Sending you a massive hug.

    I think the ideas Bellevie listed above might be a good start, what do you think to them?
    I do agree with you that it would be good to have a stable source of income while you develop your writing, since writing takes a little time to develop and I'm sure all writers started somewhere. Did you read how JK Rowling would go to cafes so that she could write in the warmth, for the price of a 55p cup of tea? She was a single mum then and couldn't afford heating.

    Do something nice for yourself today, pamper yourself. A nice bath? A mindfulness meditation?
    Hope you'll feel better tomorrow.
    * * * Catriona's Credit Card Countdown * * * from -£16k to debt neutraldom - for my debt diary click here
    Barclaycard -£5,867.52;
    mbna1 - 3,009.22
    mbna2 - 1,755.70
    Savings £5,017 MFiT #25 £2,627/£10k; daily interest £5.04
  • Bobarella
    Bobarella Posts: 10,824
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    ABA - perhaps it is your view that any change must be enormous that is stopping you. Is there no way of making a move in a direction in baby steps? That would surely be more manageable and leas terifying. So you end up at your destination without realising you've set off so to speak.
    Is it worth identifying a few employment opportunities that are safe and easy then looking at whether they work in your local area/personal environment. One idea is a paper Round. A lot of retired people seem to do them so they aren't that strenuous. Would be something that got you out of the home each day, but very low stress. You would be getting more sunlight naturally too. Just a thought. But sure there are lots of easy ops like that.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe":D

    Debt neutral :) 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
  • Thanks guys :)

    I have no self-employed friends (or family) and prefer to volunteer doing things related to writing, because otherwise it would eat into my writing time. I have so few hours atm when I feel able to do anything productive that I need to use this time in the best way I can and I think volunteering would cause more stress than it helps. I've looked into it before and getting rejected for volunteer positions had a very negative impact on my mental health, so I think it's best avoided. If I were getting paid, at least I would be getting something tangible in return for the extra stress.

    I think fb is probably the best place to focus on selling stuff, since it's so straightforward (and free!) so I will do so asap :D I might be able to get a better price on ebay, but it looks so complicated. I wish I had a friend who was used to using ebay and could come over for a couple of hours and coach me through it, but I don't. Anyway, earning anything is better than earning nothing.

    I have made a decision today:

    I will be free of ESA in 8 weeks

    I simply can't stand being on benefits for much longer. Having to travel a 50 mile round trip to WL every 2 weeks is putting me under pressure and my mental health has deteriorated since I have been going to WL. The thought of having to keep jumping through hoops makes me suicidal. Seriously — I promise I'm not being melodramatic when I say that. I believe I will kill myself if I continue like this for much longer.

    So I asked myself, how soon can I realistically stop claiming benefit without holding on so long that I end up significantly worse health-wise? I love the idea of starting 2016 free of esa and think that 8 weeks will give me enough time to prepare. I need to earn/save £75 per week to build up a buffer which will cover my expenses for 3 months — though obviously I hope I won't need to use this buffer.

    I plan to do this by:
    • Selling as much as I can, preferably using fb
    • Seeking paying writing assignments
    • Finding work via Upwork
    • Finishing and publishing the decluttering guide I'm writing (which is long overdue)
    • Looking for part time work I can do that isn't necessarily writing related
    • Submitting a LOT more writing, since even non paying outlets should boost my profile
    • Earning as much as I can through surveys/SB

    I feel more motivated than I have for months! I just want to be free, even if it means a lot of hard work and struggling — at least I will keep the self-respect which being on benefits is eroding
    Rainy day fund — 210/1000 Emergency fund — 1019/1500
    Loan — 424/19,224 = 2.2% Fun fund: 1/100 Credit card balance — 0
  • Well a plan and a goal is a good place to start from. Remember what Bob says though, small steps and celebrating the small stuff every day. I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. What strategies do you have to help you? And how is the daylight lamp going?
  • Thanks CCL :) I think the lamp is doing some good — my mood and motivation have definitely improved. Having an end in mind helps too: I know I want to be free within 8 weeks, so I need to hit everything as hard as I can.

    Actions taken so far:
    • Posted on my blog for the first time in ages
    • Posted stuff for sale in a local fb forum: bangle, shoes and handbag, meerkat toy
    • Made a list of local marketing/PR/web design firms I could email to inquire if they would like my services at any point
    • Submitted 2 proposals on Upwork

    Actions I will soon complete:
    • Put a coat on the fb selling group
    • Submit more proposals on Upwork
    • Finish draft of decluttering guide
    • Make a chart to track my progress
    • Find more stuff to sell (I'll make a list)
    • Draft stories for 2 literary journal themed submissions deadlines coming up

    The local Pets at Home wants someone to work there 16 hours a week. I love animals, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to go back to retail. It almost destroyed me last time. However, the store is smaller and less busy than the other shops in which I have worked. I don't know — I also hated working all day on Saturdays, which might be the case for this job, because I felt so isolated from my family and friends. I'd be more inclined to apply if I knew the hours and would only have to work Saturday mornings (as opposed to all day) and if it were a smaller, preferably independent, shop.

    I'm also wondering which other freelancing sites I should join. Does anyone recommend any?
    Rainy day fund — 210/1000 Emergency fund — 1019/1500
    Loan — 424/19,224 = 2.2% Fun fund: 1/100 Credit card balance — 0
  • bellevie
    bellevie Posts: 871
    First Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Could be worth looking at garden centres too? A friend works in our office full time and in a garden centre for 6 hours over the weekend. He started it go build some extra cash after a costly divorce. He no longer needs the job but really enjoys it so has kept it on. Not all, but some garden centres have little furries!
    MFW
    Starting debt :£287,410 -11/2020

    2022 Closing balance £271,402.45 

    2023 closing balance £263140


    Original end 11/2045 
    New end date :....... 

    Overpayments to date £514.4 (1/24)



  • It may be worth a look into applying at PAH. You only have a decision to make once you're offered the job. Ask them what the hours are - nothing to lose.
    Pleased you're better today - my dh is having a 'bad day' so it's good to hear you're ok.
  • Hi ABA, sorry to hear you've been feeling so low. But it looks like you're amazingly motivated and getting plans put in place for an even better 2016! Well done and I agree with CCL - you've not obligated to PAH, just ask what they hours would be.
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