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Hoarding...not just on TV

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Comments

  • Buffythedebtslayer
    Buffythedebtslayer Posts: 18,921 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    Byatt wrote: »


    I didn't have to get involved, but I would have been there for her no matter the outcome of her diagnosis. Which is still in process.

    I wouldn't have touched the paperwork except the neighbour said she didn't expect sister to go home again (and as she was very experienced in care, I thought she knew what she was talking about), plus I asked my sister, once when she was in and out of the "now", and once in front of my DD (as a witness) when she was very well...just before being released from hospital.

    So, it's walking away time, well, being pushed away time, and counselling cant't come soon enough.


    Yes Byatt it is. We do what we think is right given what we know at the time, when we know differently we do differently.

    You have done everything a sister is expected to do and her illness means things are distorted and !!!!ed up. You are right in my opinion to walk away. It is a poisionous situation you can not fix.

    Families are full of this sort of thing and loads of us struggle with guilts and what ifs. It is crap but we will get through it.

    big hugs xxxxxxx
    Nevertheless she persisted.
  • alec_eiffel
    alec_eiffel Posts: 1,304 Forumite
    viv1956 wrote: »
    Need some help sorting my cleaning cupboard - how many cloths does one person need - I have 4 box loads......how do I get rid?

    How many cloths do you use a day? 2 or 3 maybe, keep enough for however many you use before washing and chuck the rest - there is no perfect place for old cloths to go to. You will always have more than enough.
  • viv1956
    viv1956 Posts: 43 Forumite
    Thanks alec eiffel

    I know logically I don't need tham all but getting rid is so difficult .....hav got rid of one lox load so thats a start
  • alec_eiffel
    alec_eiffel Posts: 1,304 Forumite
    Good stuff, one box is good! It is so hard to get rid of obviously useful things, but you know, space is useful too, it's not just something to be filled. And if this thing was anything to do with logic then no-one would have a problem, but here we all are.
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    alec_eiffel wrote: »
    How many cloths do you use a day? 2 or 3 maybe, keep enough for however many you use before washing and chuck the rest - there is no perfect place for old cloths to go to. You will always have more than enough.

    I actually have a confession. I am addicted to the cleaning wipes. So I have only one cloth - DH uses that when he is cleaning. I wipe and throw away. It is my one decluttering luxury/pleasure, which I would have to cut down on if times are tougher. It keeps me motivated to declutter and clean.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Also Jojo, sorry about the job if it sounds like someone else is doing it. It's good to apply for things though every so often because it means you reflect on your skills and keep your CV up to date, so it'll benefit you in the long run.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • Byatt
    Byatt Posts: 3,496 Forumite
    whitewing wrote: »
    I actually have a confession. I am addicted to the cleaning wipes. So I have only one cloth - DH uses that when he is cleaning. I wipe and throw away. It is my one decluttering luxury/pleasure, which I would have to cut down on if times are tougher. It keeps me motivated to declutter and clean.

    I do the same, I hate using the same cloth which is another oddity (for me) in view of the mess I'm living in right now!!

    Buffy, thanks...I've parcelled up the stuff and posted. Feel better already. Letting go of it all now. :)
  • Byatt
    Byatt Posts: 3,496 Forumite
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »
    Morning all.


    Sent LIR a message, she's OK but a bit busy at the moment with various things. Hopefully she'll pop her head round at some point to say hello.


    I am down to three finger typing today as my fingers have decided they aren't going to move at all this morning. All well and good for rheumatology. Not great for me, though. But at least the bus that goes past the hospital stops just round the corner, so I won't be faffing around with tons of changes, especially as people look and see someone who can't possibly feel the need to sit down.....


    Ah well, I shall brave the kitchen for some coffee and maybe some toast in a minute - I don't have to leave for 90 minutes, so it's a lazy start to the day.


    Oh, and the Animal Hospital job I applied for doesn't seem to have been successful. I wonder if it could possibly have anything to do with the person I saw being shown round there three days before the closing date who is now doing the job I applied for..... :cool:


    Never mind, I'm a bit busy right now, anyway, with this nonstop rollercoaster, rock and roll lifestyle :D

    Sorry I missed this in my own self absorption...

    I think it happens a LOT, Jo-Jo. They have to advertise but have already chosen someone. It not only disappointing but cruel, because we invest so much in a job application, more than just the form filling part, and they at least could have the decency to contact you and other applicants.

    Can you pop in and ask about the job as you have not heard anything? Just so they see they are dealing with "real" people.

    Hugs. xx
  • bobble_hat
    bobble_hat Posts: 727 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Byatt wrote: »
    So, it's walking away time, well, being pushed away time, and counselling cant't come soon enough.

    I couldn't read this and not comment. Byatt - I believe and have certainly convinced myself that it is more brave to walk away. I am 1 of 4 siblings and we have a sibling who is impossible to manage, we're not sure if she has a condition or not, but we've had to watch the children and animals suffer for many years, it came to a head and we have no contact. We do have contact with one of the children, the others are too far gone to communicate with. At least one of them has a place to escape to now.

    We have on so many occasions tried to heal the breach and it has always resulted in more pain for everyone. So despite the feelings of duty and guilt we have walked away.

    We have a similar problem with out Mother, I have very limited contact for my own sanity, and we've finally started talking about our issues with her, with each other, if that makes sense, we all thought we were the only one who she disliked and treated badly, but no.

    The old adage you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends is so true. I hope you can find your own way of coming to terms with this issue and gain some peace. :)
    "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." (Montgomery, L.M.(1908). Anne of Green Gables.)
    Debt Free Nerd No. 186 Debt was £16,534.03 Now £9,588.50
  • Byatt
    Byatt Posts: 3,496 Forumite
    bobble_hat wrote: »
    I couldn't read this and not comment. Byatt - I believe and have certainly convinced myself that it is more brave to walk away. I am 1 of 4 siblings and we have a sibling who is impossible to manage, we're not sure if she has a condition or not, but we've had to watch the children and animals suffer for many years, it came to a head and we have no contact. We do have contact with one of the children, the others are too far gone to communicate with. At least one of them has a place to escape to now.

    We have on so many occasions tried to heal the breach and it has always resulted in more pain for everyone. So despite the feelings of duty and guilt we have walked away.

    We have a similar problem with out Mother, I have very limited contact for my own sanity, and we've finally started talking about our issues with her, with each other, if that makes sense, we all thought we were the only one who she disliked and treated badly, but no.

    The old adage you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends is so true. I hope you can find your own way of coming to terms with this issue and gain some peace. :)

    Thank you for your kind and thoughful post... :A
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