PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.

Bought a house, Really regret doing it.

1356789

Comments

  • ProDave wrote: »
    Sorry to hear you are unhappy. so me, quiet small village, detached house etc sounds perfect but then I have always hated busy places myself.

    You need to work out exactly what it is you don't like before you move, otherwise moving may not solve the issue.

    If you are like me, I used to hate commuting by car to work, I just can't stand crawling along in slow traffic endlessly every day. For that reason, when I looked to move, the actual journey from home to work was very important. Some lovely locations I turned down, because the journey would involve too much bad traffic.

    Also, at one point I had an informal arrangement with my boss, that I would start work early, and finish early, to avoid the worst of the traffic. Perhaps that might help?

    Duly noted for move time. I would love to do that, but my partner had to move her hours to make this work, and I have to be at my office at a certain time to see my staff off in morning, I can't change it unfortunately so i can't.
  • To me - another very relevant question is what age group you're in.

    My feeling is that you're still in a relatively young age group?

    If this is the case - then you are going to be living in that location for quite a substantial part of your life.

    The combination of the thought of a substantial part of your life living there coupled with the fact that I am guessing you are young enough to be able to "make up to yourselves financially" for some thousands of £s thrown down the drain on having two moves in quick succession would put you in a very different situation to someone with a lot shorter estimated lifespan to come and little chance to "make up" money wasted in moving to and fro.

    Sounds to me like you need a very good discussion with your partner and see how they feel about all of this and whether you are both "on the same page" about this.

    Sometimes people change how they feel about a change of location and can spend literally the first few years being pretty unhappy/unsettled about a different location - but then come to really like it and wouldnt move by choice.

    Other people will still visibly relax and start smiling the second they go back to a previous location even decades later (quick calculation of the person I'm thinking of being they moved to another location because of circumstances around 50 years ago - and they still smile/visibly relax when they go back to the previous one to this day).

    So - good discussion all round with your partner on their feelings and which of those 2 categories they think you personally come in (initial :eek: turning to :D) or decades later haven't "got into it and never will".


    Well i'm 33yr old and my partner is 32yr old. We have the time to correct this, As work is going well and should be growing by next year. I know what your saying about going back to some where familar but i'm not really talking about being a bit down in the dumps, i'm talking about uncontrollable crying, suicidal thoughts, and wanting to stay at my office instead of going home. Currently I just can't see this ever working.
  • ProDave
    ProDave Posts: 3,675
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Post
    Forumite
    "i'm talking about uncontrollable crying, suicidal thoughts, and wanting to stay at my office instead of going home. Currently I just can't see this ever working."

    That makes me seriously question if it's the house or your partner you don't want to go back to?

    A test might be to rent a self catering holiday let in the town for a week, and see if you are really happy for that week, going "home" to your prefered location (and partner)
  • ProDave wrote: »
    "i'm talking about uncontrollable crying, suicidal thoughts, and wanting to stay at my office instead of going home. Currently I just can't see this ever working."

    That makes me seriously question if it's the house or your partner you don't want to go back to?

    A test might be to rent a self catering holiday let in the town for a week, and see if you are really happy for that week, going "home" to your prefered location (and partner)

    This. It sounds as though you want different things. It's hard, settling in go a new community when you are working and commuting- but there will be things going on to meet people in the village. What has happened between seeing the house and now? Why did you disagree on other properties? Is the house actually not the problem?
  • I'd throw into the mix that a week's self-catering holiday with partner might well be a good idea. At the least it gives you plenty of time to talk this over together.

    I'd be more inclined though to think in terms of picking a totally different location altogether for this week together. Still somewhere in Britain - so you haven't thrown into the mix being in a different country - but is quite specifically not either previous or current location.
  • Do you have a working carbon monoxide monitor?

    Exposure to low levels of carbon monoxide can lead to depression and anxiety. As you've never had any MH issues before and the only trigger is moving house, it maybe worth investigating too.

    http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/carbon-monoxide-poisoning/Pages/Introduction.aspx
  • xylophone
    xylophone Posts: 44,139
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Forumite
    It seems to me that your first action should be to see your GP.


    The feelings you describe may result from the house move but in my experience, where a person is happy in his job and his personal relationships, even when living conditions are less than ideal, such a sense of unhappiness and dislocation is not common.
  • LBT_UK wrote: »
    Thanks to everyone understanding my health issues apart from that one person.

    I think you'll find that G_M is not the only one who thinks that your reaction is totally out of proportion to the problem of you not liking the village you have moved to
  • I have to agree with those other who have said this is not the correct place to discuss this. Wanting to kill yourself because you have bought a house in a village is not an appropriate reaction. That problem does not need to be posted in a housing forum, but in a mental health forum or much better, put to a doctor. Telling the OP that this is the case and recommending they go elsewhere is the only appropriate answer here.

    Even simply discussing this issue in terms of housing is harmful and reinforces the OP's inappropriate behaviour and reactions.
  • It is not a "mental health problem" to decide one has (possibly) made a mistake.

    Otherwise 99% of us would have mental health problems - as it's part of the human condition to make mistakes sometimes.

    I don't expect OP is finding it very helpful to be told they may be ill - when it doesnt look like that is the case at all.

    Context is sometimes the thing. Goodness knows most British women, for instance, would soon go off into a really low state if they woke up to find themselves moved overnight to Saudi Arabia for instance - and it would be a totally healthy/life-preservative thing to get upset about it and try and figure out how to get out. A British village isnt the same thing by any manner of means - but sometimes context is the problem and the only problem and its nothing to do with the person in that context. It just isn't a suitable location for them.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards