Advice needed - House or Wedding?
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I'd prefer to be married before buying a house. It just feels more secure legally if a break up happens.
Is your GF happy to keep renting instead? Lots of girls dream of a big wedding, but does she accept that she can't have both the fancy wedding and a house that you both own as well? It's a bit worrying that she won't compromise at all. Sounds like her priorities are very different to yours.
If you are not married, but own a house 50:50, not quite sure what you mean by more secure legally.Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
Mortgages (End 2017) - £180,235.03
(End 2021) - £131,215.25 DID IT!!!
(End 2022) - Target £116,213.810 -
I would buy a house and find yourself a lower maintenance girlfriend!Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
Maybe you should let your GF start planning out the cost of a wedding. She probably hasn't got the faintest idea of how much they really cost.
Invites/Save the dates
Venue
Decorating venue (e.g. seat covers, vases, lighting)
Catering
Drinks
Entertainment (Band/DJ)
Wedding dress
Transport
Hen do
Stag do
Bridesmaids dresses
Groomsman outfit hire
Grooms outfit hire
Flowers
Photography
Videography
Honeymoon
Toastmaster (might have gone TOO traditional but they're nice to have)
Vicar ect. cost
Wedding rings
Gifts for parents/bridesmaids/groomsmen/grandparents
AND
If she wants to get married, you'll need to propose:
Engagement Ring
Get some numbers down on paper, and plan the next few years out. She needs to put a bit of realism into her dreams0 -
I wouldn't class dreams that involve seat covers and save the date cards as realistic.0
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Compromise:
Add up the cost of a house deposit and wedding and then say we can't do either until the money has been saved up for both. That way you are both having to delay your plans. Remember, her desire to get married is just as legitimate as yours to buy a house. If she gets her way by getting married, it's the same as you getting your way on the house. By saving up for both, you are both inconvenienced equally...there should be no real reason for her not to agree, unless of course she's bullying to get you to agree to her demands first, then I would suggest you perhaps should look at your relationship and whether or not you really want to be with her.0 -
If you already live together, I'd buy a house first. However, if you don't live together currently that makes it a bit different as some people don't want to co-habit until they're married. In that case, if you want to live together you'd 'have' to get married first.
If you're renting now, what are the chances of you saving money by owning? I know some people pay more in rent than they would a mortgage plus other house ownership costs. If that might be the case, you could try the financial argument i.e. buy first and it will actually save you money (and that can be put towards the wedding of your (her?) dreams), whereas if you marry first it will only cost you money and will keep 'costing' you money every month as you'll be renting.0 -
House, HOUSE, HOUSE!
A wedding can be done for peanuts. A house cannot.0 -
I grew up in the days when you saved in a building society and hoped they'd give you a mortgage when you'd saved your 10% deposit and found a house you liked.
Weddings tended to be funded by the bride's parents. But in 'those days' it was married in the local church and a reception in the big room upstairs in the local pub. And a week long honeymoon at the coast (if you were lucky).
Mine couldn't afford a big wedding for me but it wasn't what I wanted anyway.
Register Office, buffet at the nearest pub and I made my dress and the bridesmaids' too.
Everybody enjoyed the party.
To me, it's crazy to spend a fortune on a wedding if you're paying rent instead of a mortgage.0 -
For me I'd do the wedding first but make it a modest one. You can have a great day with plenty of guests for a few £k if you're prepared to forgo the extravagances. E.g. Have a buffet rather than a long tedious sit down meal, and don't go for the big meringue dress, horse-drawn carriages dozens of brides maids and groomsmen etc etc.0
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If you already live together, I'd buy a house first. However, if you don't live together currently that makes it a bit different as some people don't want to co-habit until they're married. In that case, if you want to live together you'd 'have' to get married first.
If you're renting now, what are the chances of you saving money by owning? I know some people pay more in rent than they would a mortgage plus other house ownership costs. If that might be the case, you could try the financial argument i.e. buy first and it will actually save you money (and that can be put towards the wedding of your (her?) dreams), whereas if you marry first it will only cost you money and will keep 'costing' you money every month as you'll be renting.
If you've never lived together don't get married OR buy a house!0
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