Missing my old life?

Is this just about a holiday? Or is it about a deeper loss of your old prospects?

If it's just about the holiday then you either go somewhere alone (an organised tour perhaps), go with friends or family (it's still early to be going away with a new partner) or pay for you both to go.

In the longer term you will need to cut your cloth accordingly and accept that in order to do things that you want that you will have to pay for them yourself. As for his financial situation, he will either need to improve it (if he can) or you both budget to your new situation and find joy in cheaper things in life. So rather than fancy hotels and meals out, look at Airbnbs and home-cooked dinners in, unfortunately this is an adjustment of expectations and it may take a while.

Focus on the things that you have in your new partner that you didn't have before.

Sounds like you're unhappy with you.

Expect that rut feeling to hit the new relationship next year.

trailingspouse wrote: »

You're not a gold-digger. I think it's perfectly reasonable to look to the long-term, and ask yourself if you and this man are heading in the same direction. He may have no money at the moment, but what are his prospects for the future? Does he work in an industry where he will be rewarded in due course? Or is he lacking in ambition and never likely to earn much? Are you comfortable with the idea of being the main breadwinner, or would you prefer a more equal contribution from a prospective partner? This guy may be an improvement on the last one but may still not be The One. And that's OK.

Money can't buy you happiness - but it's bl**dy difficult trying to be happy without it.

This reminds me a bit of the quote from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes:

Lorelei Lee: Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?

I think you have to be brutally honest with yourself here and ask yourself what role money plays in your life. I don't know how old you are but if having a comfortable financial Lifestyle into the longer term, and that includes being able to afford decent holidays is something you would feel hard done by without, then maybe your current partner isnt the one for you, even if he treats you a lot better than your previous partner did.

Incompatibilities about money can be lethal for any relationship. Sooner or later one of the parties is going to feel resentment against the other unless the financial situation levels up. If your current partner lacks the ability to financially improve his position long term are you going to feel this holiday niggle every year ? Going on holiday alone or with a friend who can also afford a foreign trip will only increase your partner's sense of inadequacy.

If you cant downsize to caravanning or whatever type of holidays you CAN afford together, sooner or later these incompatibilities in your respective financial,positions will start appearing in other areas too. Better to be honest about your personal expectations now, for his sake as well as yours.