Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

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  • This happened to me as well and I ended up changing bridesmaids, not a nice thing to do. She thought the dresss would still fit and when the dress finally arrived a few weeks to go before the wedding we found it didn't fit and couldn't be let out so she offered to step down. She was very understanding and I still did a wee thank you gift for her after the meal.
  • Have you paid for everyone else's dresses? Yes, well, you're a right meanie to even think of not stumping up for a new one!
    'Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.' George Carlin
  • I had four bridesmaids, two of which got pregnant before the wedding and needed bigger dresses. They ordered bigger dresses and paid for them before they even told me they didn't fit (to save me stress) and I gave them the receipts of the original dresses so they were at least able to get a credit note.
  • Maybe by March your bridesmaid might feel more comfortable in a dress she has chosen herself, one that would be suitable for other occasions during the rest of her pregnancy, rather than one that matches the others.
    So upgrade her to Matron of Honour and let her choose, and buy her own dress!
  • By tradition the bridesmaid pays for her own dress anyway, as they get to keep the dress.

    I'm sure a good dressmaker could put in an extra panel at the sides to allow for growth. so therefore she should pay for the extra or step down.
  • If its a big expensive wedding anyway, buy her a new dress. If you're pushed for cash, have one less bridesmaid. Best thing would be to get the dress altered if possible, or as others have said, make her a maid of honour and get her to provide her own dress.

    Or postpone your wedding until she's had the baby. Why not? The whole thing is ridiculous anyway.
  • MR777
    MR777 Posts: 14 Forumite
    I can't believe some of the replies on here. Since when did someone choosing to have a baby mean that anyone else has to be out of pocket as a result? She's the one having the baby so she should pay for any prior arrangements that are affected as a consequence of that decision.
  • You've been put in a difficult situation here. You're friend should have offered to step down as bridesmaid instead of demanding another dress. Will she even want to be a bridesmaid at 6+ pregnant and will you want her to be?

    As for the dress itself, you don't say if they were made specially or not. If they are off the peg, perhaps it could be returned and another one bought. That's put aother thought into my mind - presumably the bridesmaids are wearing identical dresses, if they are off the peg, will one in the right size be available? You can't have one bridesmaid in a different dress.

    If you haven't got a maid of honour your friend could take this role.

    As for the extra cost, talk to your friend. She should offer to cover it. Dresses aren't cheap, and unless you're loaded, she shouldn't expect you to pay extra because she got pregnant. How good a friend is she anyway to expect you to pay extra.
    If she's a good friend you should be able to talk to her and come to a decision you're both happy with.
  • roses
    roses Posts: 2,330
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    Did she know she was pregnant when you bought the original dress? If not then you might have to suck it up as neither of you planned for this. If she knew she was pregnant but didn't say anything when you bought the dress then she should pay.

    I think that's the fairest solution.
  • My initial view that this is the bridesmaid's issue and as you have paid for one dress you shouldn't have to pay for a second is only tempered somewhat by wondering why on earth you have already bought the dresses over 4 months before the wedding!

    A little foresight might have suggested that things can change in that period of time - not only do people get pregnant, they loose and gain weight, and they have arguments so serious that they cease to be friends. By all means plan and choose the dresses well in advance but actually have them made? - Never!
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