Real-life MMD: Should I make homemade presents that won't be appreciated?

12467

Comments

  • I applaud your plan to make Christmas presents. We do the same thing for our kids' teachers, to get out of the "let's all put £10 in for a voucher".

    However, there is nothing good about giving someone a present they won't like. It's a waste of time and/or money and will just put their backs up if it is clear that you knew all along it wasn't appropriate.
  • alggomas
    alggomas Posts: 151
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Nothing to disagree with here.
    However I note he is referring to HIS family.
    Therefore I would not give them appreciatvely more in value than the gifts you are making for everyone else.
    Anyway making gifts for everyone is a nice idea. So why not make your brother in laws something instead of giving vouchers?
  • Spend what you can afford, and give what you want to give. It might be a clich!, but it's the thought that counts. If others are ungrateful they should take a hard look at themselves. Don't be pressurised in to giving more than you can afford.
  • Me and my siblings decided on a 'secret santa' this year. We spend £40 each on the person they get instead of £25/30 each person (there are 4 of us so we are saving almost half the money) means that we get to 'suggest' presents of higher value that can be picked from or at least give inspiration and we're all saving money.

    I wanted to make presents this year but tbh had no idea where to start or what to make. I've bought all my presents now as I had to start early in order to afford it but I'm going to make a plan of what family and friends like and get started on a list of ideas early next year so I can be prepared and do it.
  • Surely one gives a gift that they think/hope the recipient will like. If you know that the recipient won't like or appreciate a particular item, give them somethiong else. I can't believe that some posters are saying that the recipient should be grateful for whatever they're given because it's the thought that counts. Clearly there is no thought if the gift isn't appropriate to the recipient!
    If your OH thinks his brothers won't like whatever it is you're making, get them something else (to the value of the homemade item) that he thinks they would like.
  • My siblings and I used to have this issue but decided to adopt the secret santa approach. We set a sensible limit and stick to it and our Mum makes the draw each year to decide who buys for who. We don't permit cash or vouchers but do offer suggestions on things we would like or need.:)
  • Most of what people buy each other isn't appreciated either. Unless the brothers are children what are you putting yourself through it for. You just end up swapping things nobody wants. If they are children make them something - food is usually appreciated by growing boys. If they don't appreciate it teach them about the spirit of Christmas and give to charities on their behalf next year.
  • No, if your DH thinks that, I wouldn't waste your time & effort (and cost, however reduced!) The recipients AND your DH may be uncomfortable.
    Nothing wrong with a "token" present like a voucher for people who are really tricky to buy for, it can seem a bit devoid of thought & effort but I'd far rather something were appreciated & used.
    How about a small pack of something home made (fudge, biscuits) with the voucher? Then you've added the personal touch that I think you want to as well.
  • mancmum
    mancmum Posts: 85
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    This year there will be 7 of us since g dad moved in. We will trickle down money to the younger ones but we decided to do secret santa this year.

    In the past few years we have had various themed Christmas activities....

    One present wrapped up which everyone can squeeze and try and guess what it is...if you win you can keep it ...we keep it by the front door so visitors can join in as well.

    One year we did tiny christmas. A month before Christmas I gave everyone little boxes which they decorated for the named recipient. I then filled them all with as many tiny presents as I could - seeds, tiny torches etc.

    One year we split into teams and did Come Dine with Me in pairs.

    This year we are having an interactive dress the cat challenge ...Ssh don't tell them...or the cat.
  • mr-tom_2
    mr-tom_2 Posts: 131 Forumite
    I think this is only really a dilemma if there are only 2 options, either giving vouchers or an unwanted gift. In truth, life allows us infinitely more choice.

    As such, here's my thoughts:

    Firstly, I love making stuff, so I can see the appeal in making cool gifts for people, if they would like them.
    However, I can think of little more crushing than pouring my heart into making gifts that I know will be hated (using emotive language to get my point across), but using your own talents is a deeply personal thing.

    Likewise all people are different, so it won't always be appropriate to give them all the same thing.

    I don't think you should be forced into giving money that you don't have, so let's rule that out too.

    However, I'm prepared to bet that between you and your partner, you have many other talents, and that one of you is a fairly decent cook.

    As such how about this: give them a "voucher" for a meal at your house, and make sure it's a really good one that they'll love. You can even suggest something you know they like as this will get them thinking positively about it.

    This way, you'll give a gift that is wanted, you'll save money and you'll get to see your family more, which if one sets the religion stuff aside, is closer to being what Christmas is about than all that gift giving is.

    Of course, if they live in Australia, you're stuffed!
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards