Real-life MMD: Should I make homemade presents that won't be appreciated?

JayD · 13 November 2013 at 10:35AM

It's a time of GIVING - not receiving, so give what YOU want to give and hope they appreciate that you have bothered to give them anything at all - let alone spend your time and effort of making something personal for them. Adults and children alike should appreciate any gift that comes their way and be happy that they were thought of and included in your gift list.

newlands23 · 13 November 2013 at 10:35AM

How old are your husband's brothers? How many of them are there? If he comes from a large family, perhaps it's time to do what we did. I am one of 5 and when we started having children, it was all getting too much. We agreed not to exchange gifts between ourselves, but still to give gifts to the nephews and nieces until they reached 18, and then stop. (Those who didn't have kids at the time may have felt slightly ill-done-by, but it all evens up - my own kids are over 18 now so don't receive presents from their uncles and aunts, but I am still buying for their younger cousins.)
What Martin said on his TV programme yesterday was spot on - giving should go down the generations, not across - it should be from those who have money to those who don't, and not be a pointless exchange between "people who have everything".

chrisq2005 · 13 November 2013 at 10:45AM

This year I didn't know what to give my 92 (young-at-heart and active) father-in-law, so I'm giving him an IOU to take him away for a mid-week break (as he won't go away alone) to any place on the Uk mainland that he'd like to visit. I'm lucky that I can afford this, but other ideas could be for a meal at a local pub or restaurant later in the year, or to do some gardening or cleaning windows or some task they hate.:A

cheerful · 13 November 2013 at 10:59AM

If a shop goes bust (more likely these days) the vouchers usually become worthless.

Unless you are absolutely sure the person would want something from that particular shop vouchers can become unwanted presents as well.

No mature adult should have a belief of entitlement to presents at Christmas, however, we all like to be remembered: a handmade, personalised card is much better than a generic shop bought one; a small, thoughtful gift (home-made or not) is better than a generic, tick-box item.

You are up against crass commercialisation and millions of pounds spent on persuading people to waste money on competitive gifts.

For people who usually buy you Christmas presents it can be a good idea to ask them not to do so if you cannot or do not intend to buy them presents. Do let them know that a small or home-made present would be welcome (just be sure that they understand that you really mean it as some people do just say that in order not to appear avaricious while still expecting big gifts).

Kirsty1718 · 13 November 2013 at 11:48AM

Surely it's the thought that counts? I've been brought up never to expect gifts from anyone and to always appreciate anything I get,and most importantly,to always say thank you.
I don't think you should feel pressured into buying vouchers when you really can't afford them,homemade gifts can surely be made to suit a wide range of ages? You don't mention their circumstances but what about some vouchers,like Martin often suggests,for a nights babysitting if they have kids or a lift home from a night out sometime?
All in I definitely don't think you should spend money you can't afford and if they don't appreciate what they are given remember it for next year and just send a card!

bagginslover · 13 November 2013 at 12:12PM

Some of my family are getting hand made gifts this year, some aren't. Those who are are the people I know will appreciate my efforts, I'm not going to spend days painting for the items to go unworn or unused. Everyone else will get a small gift, as its all I can afford.

I can see why you wouldn't want to bow to the pressure, but I like the gifts I give to bring joy to the receiver, if its something they won't use/wear/eat, I've wasted my time.

Surfer · 13 November 2013 at 12:30PM

Considering that a number of companies went bust earlier this year, vouchers may not be a good idea!

pippinpuss · 13 November 2013 at 12:35PM

In our family we stopped buying present for nieces/nephews/siblings over the age of 18 years a long time ago. As everyone understands no one get offended. So I only buy for my family & my parents.

The kids often get handmade items from me as I do lots of knitting & they love unique socks/scarves etc. It can often work out more expensive to make stuff, but as you can spread the costs out it doesn't feel like you have spent a lot.

sparr · 13 November 2013 at 12:37PM

Please please please be brave and suggest to everyone that you stop this ridiculous ritual of buying each other presents - we did this years ago with brothers and sisters and cousins and then finally with friends. We still bought for nephews and nieces and children of close friends until they were 18 and our parents of course. The world did not come to an end. No money wasted and nobody disappointed - bliss! Go on - you can do it!

Prothet_of_Doom · 13 November 2013 at 1:00PM

My cousin, aged 26, living an alternative Yurt based life style once sent me a christmas star, she had cut from a coke can. It goes on my tree every year.

10 years on she lives in a house, and has a proper job, but I treasure the fact that she made it and posted it to us.
In think perhaps the fact that I dug up half my strawberry plants, and put them in her camper van in pots as she started her journey, saying "you'll need soft fruit" may have spurred her on.

Real-life MMD: Should I make homemade presents that won't be appreciated?

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