We can't afford to live together and have children

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  • cloudy-day
    cloudy-day Posts: 245 Forumite
    edited 19 May 2017 at 2:48PM
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    How does it affect your credit score it's not like we have been rejected, in that case it would affect it if we put an offer in, got the mortgage accepted and then the seller pulled out?

    I just had to go back and read again how old you are. 35. Honestly 35? At your age I had bought and sold 4 properties (the first one on my own) in a time of 10% interest rates. I left home at 18. I'm sorry but you just sound so nervous and clueless. You're thinking about how you'll cope when retired? !!!!!! WHY?

    Your g/f works in a bank doesn't she have a better understanding?

    As has been pointed out numerous times - you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, you may not be able to have children, your g/f may tire of you and run off to join the circus.......who knows?

    I'm sorry OP, but if my (teenage) DS is still living at home in his mid-30s, worrying about his retirement then I know I would have failed as a parent.

    I despair sometimes I really do. Life is wasted on some people.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    Yea I have spoke to her she knows I'm not trying to find excuses and knows that I can over think things. But she does sort of see what I mean when I show her the figures but says surely we should try. But I don't think she's thinking with her head she has set her heart on a 3 bed house in a nice area because that's what we thought we could afford when we found out how much they were willing to lend. She keeps asking if we are saying no to this house and it's breaking her heart
  • cloudy-day
    cloudy-day Posts: 245 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Yea I have spoke to her she knows I'm not trying to find excuses and knows that I can over think things. But she does sort of see what I mean when I show her the figures but says surely we should try. But I don't think she's thinking with her head she has set her heart on a 3 bed house in a nice area because that's what we thought we could afford when we found out how much they were willing to lend. She keeps asking if we are saying no to this house and it's breaking her heart



    If this thread is anything to go by I am very surprised the woman has an ounce of sanity left.


    Here's my advice.


    BUY THE ******* HOUSE


    If it doesn't work out (for what ever reason) - sell it.


    That's it.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    In 5 gears we will owe 127000, if it drops below that we can't sell it, if it drops below 167000 we start losing deposit. And that's before any fees
  • davidwood123
    davidwood123 Posts: 471 Forumite
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    Be careful.

    Your girlfriend might find someone who's got his act together and be off
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    I'm thinking we need about 900 a month to pay for essential bills and shopping can you live on less
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,938 Forumite
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    I never usually stick my neck out like this, but here goes: in today's regulatory environment, if a mortgage lender thinks you can afford it, you can afford it.

    (The OP isn't going to blindly take my word for it or for that matter even listen, so I have little to worry about by making such an overconfident statement.)

    I could have asked the OP to break down his budget of living expenses and tell us why he thinks the mortgage lender is wrong, but really there's no point.
  • cloudy-day
    cloudy-day Posts: 245 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    In 5 gears we will owe 127000, if it drops below that we can't sell it, if it drops below 167000 we start losing deposit. And that's before any fees



    No one knows what the future will hold. If we all had your attitude not one house would have ever been sold. That's life. Deal with it or live with Mummy and Daddy for the rest of your life.

    Like others before me I will say:
    You are just making excuses.

    I'm out too.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    I don't understand all the personal attacks I'm asking people with more experience some idea of the cost of living why has social media turned everyone spiteful
  • black_wings
    black_wings Posts: 87 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Yea I have spoke to her she knows I'm not trying to find excuses and knows that I can over think things. But she does sort of see what I mean when I show her the figures but says surely we should try. But I don't think she's thinking with her head she has set her heart on a 3 bed house in a nice area because that's what we thought we could afford when we found out how much they were willing to lend. She keeps asking if we are saying no to this house and it's breaking her heart

    Do you really need a 3 bed house? I sympathised with your initial post, regarding difficulties with getting a foot on the property ladder and how difficult it is for first time buyers but now you say you want a 3 bed in the perfect area. So actually, it sounds like you can easily afford a 2 bed in a more average area. PROBLEM SOLVED?
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