Financial abuse - in debt at 22

linheyy · 8 December 2017 at 8:49PM

I am only 22 and I have very recently ended my 4 year relationship. It got me just now to realise, I have been under financial abuse by my ex-partner's mother. My debt is around £7,000.

Throughout the time, I trusted the woman enough I nearly lost my family, she insisted my parents brought me up badly, that they don't love me because they don't support me financially (I became independent on the day I got my first job at 16) she pretended to be my best friend and always been there for me, trying to drag me away from my parents. It got to the point I kept arguing and fighting, I lost contact with them. I was being brainwashed and I didn't even know it. I lately realised what trouble i am in and refused to help her financially. Me and my fiance split and I am now on my own (I cannot tell my family of the problem I have as they are struggling themselves and they would only worry...)

I graduated in July and I have been looking for a job since, I am a designer and I work freelance but its very little money as Im a junior, it only gets me through to live at minimum. I cannot find a job due to my lack of experience... My credit cards are eating me, I have no income, and I recently had to borrow money of a friend as my bank started charging for overdraft.... I really don't know what to do any more.

I even set up a justgiving page but i feel ashamed to share it anywhere, as there are really people in much bigger needs ie health.

***Throughout university I lived off student loan until July so cant tell average earnings & moved back to my parents' in Yorkshire so I dont need to pay rent, council tax or bills.

fatbelly · 8 December 2017 at 9:10PM

Hi

There is still a safety net in this country and its called the benefit system.

It's not as good as it was and not very generous to single people without disabilities or children.

But you should get basic JSA or Universal Credit

https://www.universal-credit.service.gov.uk/postcode-checker

with help for your rent coming through Universal Credit if you're in a 'live' area or housing benefit if you're not.

Help with council tax comes from your local council.

As for your debts they are non-priority compared to getting your income, housing and employment sorted. You may want to post a statement of affairs to give us the details.

sourcrates · 8 December 2017 at 11:19PM

Good advice above, unsecured credit debts are last in line for payment, get yourself a new basic bank account with a bank with whom you have no debt, that ensures you have access to a bank account.

Treat the old account as just another debt to service when you can.

Best to write to each creditor explaining why you can’t pay, chances are they won’t chase you so much with no income.

pmlindyloo · 9 December 2017 at 12:13AM

You don't say how much you are earning on average or where you are living. Do you have rent to pay?

Depending on what you earn you may be entitled to some benefit help. As you are single then you will have to apply for Universal Credit.

Your priority is to find a job. That means taking any full time work or even two jobs until you are financially stable to persue your chosen career.

I am not trying to be harsh and feel sorry for what you have been through but needs must.

Open that basic bank account and write, as suggested, to all your creditors including the bank and explain the situation.

This time of the year there are often jobs available even if they are temporary.

Good luck.

Financial abuse - in debt at 22

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