It's not a lot, but it's enough

Morning Speky

It's a really difficult place to be, knowing and feeling that you don't feel the same way anymore, I don't envy how you feel at present! If you know (and from your last post this morning I think you do) what your decision is then as tough or not that is, you're doing the absolute best thing for both of you in the long term. You've been really honest and up front and that takes real guts as it's not pleasant hurting someone and them begging etc for another chance. If you stay with someone who you feel is not right then have children with them, I believe that once you have children with someone whether you like it or not they are going to be in your life forever, it may not be in a big way but they have to be.

If you feel you don't love her anymore, then as sad and difficult as that is - you can't make yourself love someone. Don't beat yourself up - if you're not happy then you're doing the right thing voicing those concerns, life's too short to be miserable.

It will work out in the end whatever that outcome may be, take care of you too x

Keep safe and well x

nmlc x

Afternoon Speky

I don't think you're being rash or being unfair - you recognised your feelings had changed and you are no longer as happy as you deserve to be. Some people in that situation would have gone off and had a one night stand or an affair - thus an even worse scenario, and one that your GF would say, if you weren't happy why didn't you come and talk to me, see if we could work together to resolve the problems. Also looking at the situation from your GF's point of view, how would you feel if were with someone possibly married with children and then they discovered that your feelings hadn't been the same they no longer loved you but had lived a lie - because they didn't want to upset you. At least by being honest even though it hurts at present it does get better long term. You've not been together that long in real terms, but long enough to know whether it's "the one" or not, it sounds like you've both grown as individuals and are now in different places and want different things.

Hope this helps in some way, and remember although it feels horrid at the moment, it will get better and you'll learn what it is you want long term, and most importantly you were honest and up front and did the right way, and that take guts and determination x

Keep safe and well x

nmlc x

I've been there Speky. It's tough but in my not so expert opinion you've approached it well. I'm naturally cautious when it comes to relationships - whether that's sexual or just friend ships - so takes a long time for me to "accept" it. I'd say that takes a good year for me and of course everyone's different but if you're feeling this at this stage then I doubt it'll get better.

I've been the instigator of the "chat" but my most recent relationship I was in your GFs position. I was enjoying our time together but he simply didn't feel the same and said he felt like my pal rather than boyfriend despite his initial lust for me . We had a long tear-filled chat but came to the conclusion that it wasn't to be. We did part on good terms and occasionally catch up for coffee. Of course not everyone's break up will be the same. Indeed the one I mention above was rather emotional with begging, promises etc but I just couldn't see a future with him.

I've grown up and being in a relationship isn't a big part of my ambitions. Of course I hope I don't end up a old spinster but it's not on my radar at the minute. I'd rather be happy and alone than miserable and attached.

Take care of yourself.

Aw bless you. You're a really good bloke, and it shows how much you care about her even if your feelings aren't what they once were. Its tough when people don't feel the same about eachother, but it happens a lot and few people ever feel that they've handled it well. At least you are trying to do that.
I think that you aren't going to feel good about what you're doing, so you mustn't expect to, but you have to do what is right for you, and consequently her. If it's not right for one then it's not right for both has long been my belief.
I've been in your GF's position and had a very kind ex end our relationship. It was tough, and it took me a long time to get over it but I did recognise after a good few months that if he didn't want to be with me then I didn't want him to pretend, or be miserable, and that I deserved someone who felt about me as I felt about him.
The next relationship I had was with my now husband - we've been married amost 25 years. The point being, that I got over it and found a better relationship for me too, and I presume he did too.

Be nice to yourself - its going to feel a bit awkward and rough for a little while - and you know where we are. Bell & Felix on Kilmarnock Rd, Kimbles and CTC all do good Hot Chocolate if you need a wallow!