Finding the dating game so harsh!

beckysbobbles1 · 10 October 2016 at 4:19PM

Internet dating sucks!!!

I tried in back in 2012 and it was fine. Guys were nice, not too many weirdos and had a few dates but when I went back on it, it had completely changed!!

I had so many people stalk me when I didn't reply and then when you reply politely saying you're not interested, you get a load of abuse.

I was always quite open to meeting up. I never really say the first meet as a date. More a quick coffee or drink to see if you 'click' and can hold a conversation. I'd say only 1 in 10 meets went on to a second date.

People hide behind computers and pretend to be something they are not. I wish it was easier for people to meet new people but we are all obsessed with our gadgets that we don't even make eye contact with strangers.

chanda_2 · 10 October 2016 at 8:26PM

I've been single for over 5 years now, I'm thinking about online dating but it scares me.

I'm 24 by the way (female)

I've heard about Tinder which I'm gonna try next month.

I always generally attract guys who only want sex because I've got big boobs, I'm also tall and slim too.

But I'm not at all familiar with POF, is it similar to Match.com?

pimento · 10 October 2016 at 9:06PM

superpauk wrote: »

I've been single for almost a year now and am enjoying the time to myself. I do wonder how easy it will be to meet a lady - especially with me being very carful with money.

would any ladies out there be happy to eat reduced price food everyday? How about going for a walk in the park rather than spending money on a dinner date? Any frugal ladies are welcome over here! :rotfl:

I think i'm too busy saving up for a house/retirement than looking for a partner. If the right person came along i would of course go for it.

I'm also against meeting people online or via apps - i don't think you can get your personality across online. Keep at it and don't let the few guys who mess you around get to you. I think most guys would see it as a game and wouldn't even think the person on the other side has feelings!

I could put up with a lot of things but parsimony isn't one of them. It's on a par with keeping your socks on in bed.

powerful_Rogue · 10 October 2016 at 9:23PM

Became single in May 2015.

Signed upto POF, OKCupid & Tinder. Met a lot of women and had a lot of fun. In November met "The One" and shes currently in the process of moving in.

Always amazed me the stories women told me about men on these sites. The missus was offered £100 just to kick a man in the balls in POF!

Just a case of weeding the no hopers out.

bundly · 12 November 2016 at 2:18PM

I have tried in the past to find someone this way, with mixed results.

99% of the people on a site won't suit you, so you have to be persistent.

The best advice I can give is to BE RUTHLESS. You will be led up the garden path many times by men who live 500 miles away but insist that distance is no object when two people are right for one another, but never can meet up due to time and expense. Big timewaster!

Ignore anyone still living with his ex.

Ignore anyone who won't send you photos of himself.

smudger1964 · 17 November 2016 at 3:55PM

I have been using online dating for a few years on and off met some lovely girls on there and tbh some very strange ones..
If only everyone used recent pictures like I do it would be so much better..
I met one lady in Costa last year didnt even recognise her from the "recent pictures" she had put on the dating site..
The trick is to get a phone number fairly quickly then have a chat on the phone not message on the site for weeks as it quickly becomes tedious..

Then just meet for a quick coffee or a drink the first date doesnt need to be a marathon unless you get on so well that you want it to go on longer..You soon know if you have an attraction or not
And remember not all blokes are after one thing,so much better to get to know someone for a while first before you get down to all that stuff

Oakdene · 17 November 2016 at 4:10PM

Given up on dating for now. I never, until earlier this year, understood those people who said they had met 'the one' & they just knew. My partner & I separated but for me she is/was the one who I cant move on from no matter what I try.

MONEYTREE_2 · 8 December 2016 at 9:27PM

When you are in your 40s and 50s you cannot rely on meeting someone in real life, and you can hardly go about approaching men and saying "I fancy you, are you single?" It would just look so desperate and would be incredibly embarrassing. 99 out of 100 would be unavailable, anyway.

And so one turns to online dating, because at least one knows they are straight, and "looking".

So first I tried the free sites and they are just full of men looking for "no strings attached" sex (and usually pervy, porny sex, at that!) Most are married or in relationships.

And so I paid £60 to join Match, thinking as that is a "proper" relationship site for people who are serious about wanting to meet someone for a "proper" relationship. I received only three messages, and <sigh> all of them asking for "no strings attached" sex. I got a refund!

fierystormcloud · 8 December 2016 at 11:21PM

MONEYTREE wrote: »

When you are in your 40s and 50s you cannot rely on meeting someone in real life, and you can hardly go about approaching men and saying "I fancy you, are you single?" It would just look so desperate and would be incredibly embarrassing. 99 out of 100 would be unavailable, anyway.

And so one turns to online dating, because at least one knows they are straight, and "looking".

So first I tried the free sites and they are just full of men looking for "no strings attached" sex (and usually pervy, porny sex, at that!) Most are married or in relationships.

And so I paid £60 to join Match, thinking as that is a "proper" relationship site for people who are serious about wanting to meet someone for a "proper" relationship. I received only three messages, and <sigh> all of them asking for "no strings attached" sex. I got a refund!

Can't rely on meeting someone in real life when you're in your 40's or 50's?! Where did you get THAT from? I missed that meeting!

And I doubt 99 out of 100 people are unavailable. Maybe two-thirds, and that is pushing it. From the amount of people I see who are desperate for a partner, I would say it's way more than just 1% of people who are available.

MONEYTREE_2 · 12 December 2016 at 2:23PM

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Can't rely on meeting someone in real life when you're in your 40's or 50's?! Where did you get THAT from? I missed that meeting!

I got that from my real, lived experience over years. I would not sit around in pubs, but I do go to theatres, comedy nights, live music, etc, I do interact with people in my neighbourhood and I have not yet met any man with whom there was a mutual attraction AND who was straight and available.

It's almost like looking for a room to let by just wandering the streets and knocking on random doors! If people want a room these days, they hit the net. And so it has become with relationships.

fierystormcloud wrote: »

From the amount of people I see who are desperate for a partner, I would say it's way more than just 1% of people who are available.

Yes but these "desperate" people aren't going to suit anyone. There are parameters! I'm not interested in being with a man of 19 or 85, or with someone who is a druggie, or a deadbeat, a smoker or a religious fanatic or a misogynist or a chav. When you narrow it down to the pool of potential partner who are available to you in terms of right age, don't live too far, who want what you want, etc ....AND who fancy you and agree what kind of a relationship it is going to be, it is indeed 1 in 100. Or less.

And so one turns to the net.

Finding the dating game so harsh!

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