Advice needed-thanks!
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gilly41
Posts: 909 Forumite
Hi
I typed a really long thread and it disappeared so this is a shortened version!!
My son, who left Uni recently and came back home to live with his dad ----is looking for somewhere to live.His dad, me ex from years and years ago, is selling up and my son needs to find somewhere to live. He was going to share with his mate but he let him down at the last minute.
Anyhow, after much thought he has decided to house share. He has been looking round and OH or myself have gone with him to look round loads of places(most of which have been horrid!!). He doesnt want to come back and live with us---he has had the run of his dads house since he was 17 and therefore wouldnt live by my rules and says he has become too independent now! He has found himself a good job:T and also some Coaching so he is really happy!
Anyhow at the weekend he went to look round a few more places and he stumbled across this lovely terraced house which is owned by a lady of 23 whose mum and dad have bought it for her! The house is gorgeous and the rent(inc all bills) is very affordable. My son accepted it straight away
and he is moving in on the 1st Nov. So everyone is happy APART FROM!! he hasnt told his gf. She is the same age as him and away at Uni. She is a nice girl(been together 2 years) but she is very jealous---hence he darent tell her. I have been getting daily text messages asking what he can say to her---OMG how do I know!!! Has anyone got any suggestions as to how he can tell her?
I must add that she hasnt helped him look at all for a new home----she just isnt interested in anything like that! and hasnt made any suggestions as to where he could look etc etc?
Thanks for any advice that I can pass on! Bearing in mind he moves in next Wed he needs to get her told ASAP!
x
I typed a really long thread and it disappeared so this is a shortened version!!
My son, who left Uni recently and came back home to live with his dad ----is looking for somewhere to live.His dad, me ex from years and years ago, is selling up and my son needs to find somewhere to live. He was going to share with his mate but he let him down at the last minute.
Anyhow, after much thought he has decided to house share. He has been looking round and OH or myself have gone with him to look round loads of places(most of which have been horrid!!). He doesnt want to come back and live with us---he has had the run of his dads house since he was 17 and therefore wouldnt live by my rules and says he has become too independent now! He has found himself a good job:T and also some Coaching so he is really happy!
Anyhow at the weekend he went to look round a few more places and he stumbled across this lovely terraced house which is owned by a lady of 23 whose mum and dad have bought it for her! The house is gorgeous and the rent(inc all bills) is very affordable. My son accepted it straight away
and he is moving in on the 1st Nov. So everyone is happy APART FROM!! he hasnt told his gf. She is the same age as him and away at Uni. She is a nice girl(been together 2 years) but she is very jealous---hence he darent tell her. I have been getting daily text messages asking what he can say to her---OMG how do I know!!! Has anyone got any suggestions as to how he can tell her?
I must add that she hasnt helped him look at all for a new home----she just isnt interested in anything like that! and hasnt made any suggestions as to where he could look etc etc?
Thanks for any advice that I can pass on! Bearing in mind he moves in next Wed he needs to get her told ASAP!
x
Sealed pot challenge 7...my number is 2144.....started Nov 29th ....
0
Comments
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My advice for what it is worth is that he tells her
The house is gorgeous and the rent(inc all bills) is very affordable and he is moving in on the 1st Nov.
Why should the age/sex of the landlady be an issue? If his GF makes it an issue and the relationship doesn't survive then it is probably for the best. Jealously is an extremely corrosive element in a relationship and if your son has given her no reason to be jealous she needs to adjust her attitude. Good relationships are built on trust.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I speak as someone who watched one of her sons suffer from the trauma of an unreasonably jealous partner. I was so glad when he saw the light!Proud to be dealing with my debts0 -
Hi Gilly41,
I'm glad your son has found somewhere nice to live.
Regarding the girlfriend, he should just be honest with her, tell her about the house but don't make an issue about the owner. I was in a relationship for 2 years where my ex got so jealous I ended up not going out/ doing things because it was easier than having the arguments. I wish I had nipped it in the bud earlier as when we split up I was a shadow of my former self and it took me a long time to regain my confidence. He should encourage his gf to meet and get to know his new housemate as that should hopefully ease her mind.
I wish him well and hope he doesn't have any problems with his gf.Saving for an early retirement!0 -
Hi
Thanks everyone! I know exactly what type of relationship he has with her cos my ex, his dad, was exactly the same with me. He had me believing that I was worthless and all my self confidence had gone by the time I plucked up the courage to leave him aged 28!!!I so wanted my son to be in a different type of relationship---she is a very nice girl(as far as manners etc with myself are concerned) but he is well and truly controlled.
He has come round just now and says he is really panicking about ringing her! I said the worse that can happen is that she calls it a day with you and if that is the case she wasnt worth having as a gf! He is a lively happy lad when he is not around her---when she is back from Uni he seems to be like a dog on a lead!!He has to literally do everything she tells him!!!
But---what can I do? At 21 I feel I can only advise him and then it is up to him.
He is definately taking the house share---he is going round tonight to pay the £150 bond!
Thanks again everyone---I will keep you posted!!!
xSealed pot challenge 7...my number is 2144.....started Nov 29th ....0 -
He Should be honest and tell her.
Honesty id the key to any relationship.
He needs to tell her before someone finds out and tell her first.
Hope this helps:j WILL GET THERE SOON :j
WATCH OUT FOR THE PIG FLYING PAST!!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:0
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