Christmas for adult children

SandC · 12 October 2014 at 12:05PM

I'm nearly 44 and I still get a pile.

My stepmum said last year that she was only going to buy 3 presents each. She turned up with at least 7 for me. She's 82.

I think the major transition from child to adult in terms of xmas was when we stopped having a stocking (which was a football sock) and I think that must have been when we left home. The stocking was actual stocking fillers, small things that could fit in a sock. Three items that were always in there were a bag of chocolate coins, an apple and a satsuma.

Pthree · 12 October 2014 at 12:08PM

As kids we had a Christmas sack which were presents from "Santa" small stuff, sweets, books, pens, pencils then make up etc as we got older...then bigger presents from Mum and Dad.

Mother carried on with the sacks when we left home, but the sack stuff became more useful cotton wool, shower gel, toothpaste, cleaning stuff, you know all that stuff when you leave home and realise that there aren't fairies that automatically replace your conditioner when you run out?

Mum carried on doing that until about 3 years ago (so 35 and 38 yrs old

) but it stopped when my sister moved in with her OH.

She gets a boyfriend so I get less presents, it seems very unfair to me lol

P3

bright_side · 12 October 2014 at 12:40PM

This Christmas my babies will be 24 and 18. I've been telling my eldest for years that she won't be getting quite so much 'this year', but in reality it never happens :rotfl: It has become more of what she needs though, rather than just stuff she would like to have. This year it is wardrobes for her new place and she'll have a stocking with little bits and pieces, like underwear, smellies etc along with the customary chocolate reindeer and selection box

My youngest is having a ps4 with probably a couple of games and the rest will be clothing I expect. I'm thinking that next year when he's hopefully working full time, they'll both have a much smaller budget that I will try my hardest to stick too! Fortunately he's not the type to complain that his older sister had more money spent on her until she was older than him!! If it was the other way round it would be a very different story I'm sure :rotfl:

maman · 12 October 2014 at 12:52PM

Lily-Rose wrote: »

You have two other children, (three altogether yes?) so continuing to spend a couple of hundred (as most people do,) or more on each child forevermore, is not doable. Nor is it fair on you.

Unless OP is really short of money (and I know some people do really feel the pinch when children leave full time education) then I can't see why it's not fair or doable. They're still your children whatever age they are.

We carried on buying a sackful of presents for our DDs and added in SILs and DGDs as they came along into their forties. Then DD1 suggested that we all stop buying for adults. I think this was roughly when the recession kicked in but also because DD2 had the habit of buying 'stuff'. We still buy for the DGDs and this won't stop as the eldest just turned 18.

DDs have birthdays in November and December so we buy them a great gift then and nothing for Christmas these days.

Becles · 12 October 2014 at 1:07PM

SandC wrote: »

I think the major transition from child to adult in terms of xmas was when we stopped having a stocking (which was a football sock) and I think that must have been when we left home.

He definitely doesn't want to lose his stocking! For their first Christmas, my Mam made each of my children a big padded fabric stocking and they've come out every year since. I fill them with stuff like sweets, toiletries, stationery, socks, novelty items etc. He still would like a stocking and most importantly he reminded me he's not too old for a Thorntons chocolate Santa lolly :rotfl:

Lily-Rose_3 · 12 October 2014 at 1:10PM

maman wrote: »

Unless OP is really short of money (and I know some people do really feel the pinch when children leave full time education) then I can't see why it's not fair or doable. They're still your children whatever age they are.

We carried on buying a sackful of presents for our DDs and added in SILs and DGDs as they came along into their forties. Then DD1 suggested that we all stop buying for adults. I think this was roughly when the recession kicked in but also because DD2 had the habit of buying 'stuff'. We still buy for the DGDs and this won't stop as the eldest just turned 18.

DDs have birthdays in November and December so we buy them a great gift then and nothing for Christmas these days.

I think there is no 'one size fits all.'

EG, I still buy my brother and SIL (who are early 40s,) about £20 of gifts each, and their two children, about £30 each. And we buy hubby's brother and wife and daughter too.

My friend who is 45, has 5 siblings (52 to 62,) and many years back, she used to buy for each one. Then their partners came along, rather quickly as they all hit adulthood, so she used to buy them something 'between them,' as suddenly going from buying for 5 people to 10 was a bit much.

THEN, 3 of them had babies close together (15 months apart,) and my friend started buying for them. And then 5 years later, there were 5 MORE babies. Along with the 10 adults LOL. So at that point, she had to cut of all the adults altogether, as it was getting too much.

And now those babies are adults and are having kids themselves now.

So my friend (who has 3 kids herself, and also 2 grandkids now,) told her 5 siblings that she is only buying for her kids, their partners, and the 2 grandkids now.

Didn't go down well, but it's absurd for anyone to expect her to buy for 5 older siblings, 5 SIL's and BILs, and what is now 10 nephews and nieces, and also THEIR children that are slowly coming along now!

And that is not including her husband's family!!!

So, as I said, it depends largely on the circumstances.

Any particular reason maman, why you buy for their birthdays in November and December, and then buy nothing for Christmas though?

I can imagine that being the biggest bugbear for people born near Christmas. People giving you a 'combined gift.' They wouldn't do that if your birthday was in June!

Threebabes · 12 October 2014 at 1:33PM

Our oldest will be 19 in November, he is resitting a year of his alevels and financially dependent on us, so this year he will get the same as the younger two. Next year we will buy him the gifts but no cash (£500), he will get the xbox game, hoody, trainers, dvd boxsets, sweets, aftershave.

moomoomama27 · 12 October 2014 at 1:34PM

I imagine il start cutting down what I spend once they are no longer I education, up until then I'm responsible financially so nothing would change for us to consider having to cut down.

kpwll · 12 October 2014 at 2:08PM

Mine aged 33 & 30 still get a pile. Some things they need or want and others that they wouldn't treat themselves to. The 2 grandsons get their own piles too. This will probably change next year when my husband retires and the Xmas money pot gets a lot smaller. Everyone gets new pj's and slippers on Xmas Eve.
(With some creative buying the piles might not though, lol)

Indie_Kid · 12 October 2014 at 2:25PM

maman wrote: »

DDs have birthdays in November and December so we buy them a great gift then and nothing for Christmas these days.

My parents do this for my brother and sister. Well, they tend to get a joint birthday and Christmas present.

I don't think my parents have a budget in mind. I know that last year for example, my Christmas present was more expensive than my brother and my sister. Mine was cheaper the year before. But I'd rather have something cheap that I use, rather than something expensive I don't use.

Christmas for adult children

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