Frivolous, ageing parent - financial advice

One thing I did used to do for both my mum & my parents-in-law (when they eventually asked for some help) was to type up a list of what savings / pensions they had, and an approximate value, and updated it every 6 months or so.
They had a copy, I had a copy. If I saw they had something in an account where they could get better interest elsewhere, I could give them a reminder, and help gett ing forms if they took up the suggestion. The aim was for a light touch initially and as they got used to / trusted what I said, then I could offer extra suggestions, and help in applying for any benefits etc they were missing. In my mum's case (a long time ago now) I helped her convince her fairly small employer that she could make extra payments into her pension without causing them any issues, which really helped her when she did retire.
Sometimes when people have been running things independently all their life, its actually quite a threatening feeling for anyone, even a close relative, to offer to look into their finances. At one time, finance was an area that rarely got discussed outside the husband / wife relationship, and sometimes not even there.

Fledgling40 wrote: »

I do have more information but there’s only a certain level I’m comfortable sharing online. I came here for advice on third party options I could direct her too. I realise it’s not really my business and she is an adult. So I would much prefer to be able to guide her to independent advice.

She doesn't have enough money for it to be worthwhile to see an IFA, and people generally only go to Citizens Advice when they are up !!!! creek. A visit to PensionWise may be worthwhile but I don't think it's exactly what you have in mind, as they are focused more on talking people through their options with pension funds than providing cashflow planning / life coaching.

You haven't said anything that indicates that a full State Pension won't be enough to live on - although she does need to make sure she gets a State Pension Statement and applies for ESA to ensure that she is still getting NI credits. (Plus she also has whatever this small private pension is.)

She could eke out her £50k over the next 12 years to bring her to State Pension Age, or spend it in six years and then be forced back to work for the other six, or blow the lot in a year and go back to work. Either way she is not going to end up in the workhouse.

I understand your desire to help your mother but the fact that she has £50k in the bank means she needs less help from you, not more. If you have a burning desire to help people who have financial problems then why not ask your local branch of Citizens Advice if they need volunteers, and give help to people who really need it?

edinburgher wrote: »

I don't agree, she only has £50k as she has downsized/relocated. It's a one off source of funds and OP would appear to be genuinely concerned about mother's ability to manage her money and/or lifestyle.

Trying not to project, but I have a spendthrift relative who will likely be in the same boat in not so very long and I have no idea what we'll need to do as a family to prevent them from having a miserable couple of decades in retirement.

The OP does not know the financial position of his mother. But he is quite willing to try to run her life for her.

badmemory wrote: »

What I would like to know is why the OPs mother left her job, relocated and downsized & what order those choices came in. That is 3 big changes in one go. So downsized because children no longer at home & the upkeep, costs, cleaning etc has become a pain? Relocated - to be near elderly (ageing?) parents or grandchildren or just because she could to somewhere else other than where she was? As for leaving the job, didn't need the money, felt she was needed more elsewhere? Who knows because the OP isn't going to tell us.

The OP may not even know that his mother has say inherited other money or won the lottery. Not everyone would tell others.

Being in their 50's can be quite liberating for women. Often they are no longer tied to children. Cheesed off with several decades of housework and cooking.

I know a women who's separated from her husband and at 59 is just burning through money. She does even care about having a roof over here head. It's all about the adventure rather the practicalities.

All you can do is reminder your mother that old age will turn up and that it is likely to be scary for her unless she puts something aside.
I think a lot of women in this middle age bracket are in denial that old age is round the corner.