Finding the dating game so harsh!

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  • Angry_Bear
    Angry_Bear Posts: 2,021 Forumite
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    Oakdene wrote: »
    See, I have been able to talk to a few ladies online & indeed arrange dates but my lack of self confidence leads me to cancelling the day before citing having to work late the following day...


    I really need to get over this lack of confidence.
    Tough it out.
    Simple, but not easy lol. Just do it - assume before hand that it's going to be awful because of your nerves but you need to get one bad one out of the way to know that it isn't the end of the world. If it isn't terrible then great - if it is, then so what, at worst you wasted a couple of hours. Say goodbye and don't offer to meet up again.

    Oh yeah, and there's a good chance anyone you meet will be just as nervous as you :).
    Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
    ― Sir Terry Pratchett, 1948-2015
  • NoWayJose
    NoWayJose Posts: 15 Forumite
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    From reading this thread, I'm now dreading doing all this sort of stuff again. It's been over 8 years since being single :eek:
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    NoWayJose wrote: »
    From reading this thread, I'm now dreading doing all this sort of stuff again. It's been over 8 years since being single :eek:



    Honestly its not as bad as it sounds, just relax, don't have any expectations.
  • jamiehelsinki
    jamiehelsinki Posts: 222 Forumite
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    NoWayJose wrote: »
    Genuine question: Why exactly should women never approach a man?


    If that's aimed at me, it's not what I said.

    It would be great if a woman made the first move, what I said was that in my experience women never make the first move so never suffer from being knocked back, men on the other hand have had years of experience of being turned down!

    Regarding the coffee question it's boring and just sounds awkward. You can't even get a seat in any of my local coffee shops.

    My early impressions of pof are positive anyway, I'm sticking to a 8 mile radius though.
  • NoWayJose
    NoWayJose Posts: 15 Forumite
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    That Q wasn't aimed at you :)
  • jamiehelsinki
    jamiehelsinki Posts: 222 Forumite
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    OK thanks!
  • SailorSam
    SailorSam Posts: 22,754 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
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    Oakdene wrote: »
    See, I have been able to talk to a few ladies online & indeed arrange dates but my lack of self confidence leads me to cancelling the day before citing having to work late the following day...


    I really need to get over this lack of confidence.

    Do you use Skype ?
    Do you think it would help if you'd actually saw and spoke to a prospective date before going. If you can actually see people rather than just swap messages, you know they're real.
    Liverpool is one of the wonders of Britain,
    What it may grow to in time, I know not what.

    Daniel Defoe: 1725.
  • clumsy_cook
    clumsy_cook Posts: 2 Newbie
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    poorlittlefish wrote: »
    To cut a very long story short I met a guy on a dating site last year, we had a wonderful few months then he almost became a different person overnight and messed me about for another few months until I finally decided I was worth more than the crumbs he was feeding me and ended it.

    I joined Match on friends' advice and rejoined PoF. I don't know what's happened to online dating over the past year but boy, am I finding it harsh this time around! Men I find attractive and make contact with rarely reply, which makes me feel a bit rubbish. The two that did reply both asked me on dates, but one stood me up and the other blocked me before we finalised arrangements. Guys who contact me either abruptly disappear (presumably because they've had a better offer) or provisionally arrange dates then also disappear or just block me!

    For instance, last Friday I'd agreed to go on a date on the Sunday. I asked if he had any suggestions for where to meet and offered one of my own. I turned my phone on the next morning to find he'd blocked me. I could understand if I'd said something offensive or was coming on strong, but I hadn't!

    Am I just having a run of exceptionally bad luck or do others have this kind of experience?!
    I am an older person and also tried the site you mentioned and one other, over 3 years ago. One respondent was in serious financial trouble and wanted to marry on the first meeting, the only other person to agree to meet didn't turn up! Ouch! Lots of other guys either didn't reply or said they were in a relationship, but had not updated their site. After the obligatory year, I gave up and have never tried since. Too expensive and not worth the money, sadly!
  • clumsy_cook
    clumsy_cook Posts: 2 Newbie
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    NoWayJose wrote: »
    From reading this thread, I'm now dreading doing all this sort of stuff again. It's been over 8 years since being single :eek:
    I've been on my own for 20 years....imagine how I feel!!! :-\
  • NoWayJose
    NoWayJose Posts: 15 Forumite
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    Richer?? :)
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