Advice needed for suicidal son please.

Hi, I have a son of 26yrs who has recently attempted to take his life, he is under the gp but has really got himself into a right old mess.

I have discovered he has many money worries but he will not go into great depth. He lost his job back in July 2012, was fortunate enough to find full time employment thru a temping agency soon after, is working 38.5hrs per wk & is paid weekly, he is taking home £170 a wk which is a drop in earnings of about £800 take home per month to what he was earning.

I have discovered this morning that he is on a "basic rate" tax code & have called HMRC who were most helpful once I explained the situation & have adjusted his tax code & he will hopefully get his tax rebate next wk.

I am now looking at working tax credits & the possibility of housing benefit whilst he is on such a low wage. He is currently in private rental, but unable to meet his rent in full & is basically waiting for his tenancy to expire very early Feb then knows he will have to vacate the property, but where he will find accomodation that he can afford I do not know!

Having looked online at the working tax credits, I think he could possibly be entitled to them, but then again it seems that it is worked out on last yrs earnings, which would mean he most certainly wouldn't get anything. Can anyone please advise me?

I do not know where to turn, for advice on so many things regarding his situation, he has two of these blinking payday loans! a credit card from Aqua, with a stupid interest rate, but I have transferred that to my own card to relieve him of one set of problems. He has a pension payout due him from his old employer, only about £700 but it would be most helpful to him right now but he is getting nowhere chasing that up either!

He is in dire need of a full financial make over, where to turn . . . . HELP! :(

Comments

  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I have never used them myself but I am sure Christians Against Poverty https://www.capuk.org/home/index.php

    will be used to this kind of situation.

    Is he being referred for counselling? That may help him, although it is usual to get anti-d's to stabilise the mood to get the most out of the counselling sessions. Keep an eye on him; sometimes cheering up can be an indicator that the situation is not actually getting better.

    Also, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2242259/Student-Toby-Thorn-killed-just-8-000-debt-wrote-suicide-note-BANK-letter.html has details of a website that may help.

    I don't want to scare you. There have been plenty of people on here who have had suicidal thoughts, but have, with help and support, addressed their issues and got a whole lot better.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • miduck
    miduck Posts: 1,800 Forumite
    He can ask tax credits to do an assessment based on his current income, however given that he was earning a higher amount until July (i.e. in this tax year), he may still not qualify. Give them a call, but be prepared that he may not qualify until April.

    Is it possible for him to move home for a while, both for financial and health reasons? As he is under 35 he will only qualify for the shared room rate of LHA (housing benefit), so if he wishes to live alone he is going to have a large shortfall even with benefits.
  • CAB_Birmingham_representative
    CAB_Birmingham_representative Posts: 89 Organisation Representative
    Thank you for your e-mail

    We are sorry to hear of your sons difficulties and hope that we can be of some help. Initially we would suggest that if your son has not been given any mental health helplines and if he wished to acess these he could contact the MIND website and their helplines which may be of help.

    Having spoke to our debt team regarding the debts your son and yourself are coping with please feel able to look at tghe following information from the National debtline on payday loans and a usefool tool at the end of the link called My Money Steps which may be of some help with helping your son take control of his finances
    Factsheet | Payday loans

    A payday loan is a type of cash loan, normally paid into your bank account. They are called ‘payday loans’ as they are intended to be short-term loans, meant to be paid back when you next receive your wages or benefits.

    ImportantPayday loans are non-priority
    A payday loan is a non-priority debt because you cannot lose your home; lose an essential service or go to prison for non-payment.
    Even though these loans are non-priority, they often cause other problems. The interest rates are usually very high and it can be easy for the debt to get out of control. Later in this fact sheet we cover alternatives to payday loan borrowing. We also cover the other common issues with these loans.
    Back to top Phone us for advice 0808 808 4000
    My loan payment is due and I cannot pay

    If you are in this situation, there are two things to watch out for.
    1. Loan rollover

    Some payday loan companies may offer you a loan ‘rollover’. This means that your loan is rolled over for another month so you get extra time to pay. This may seem like a helpful solution if you are struggling to pay.
    However, a rollover usually means you make a new agreement with the payday loan company. More interest and charges will be added so you will owe more than you did before.
    AdviceIf you are struggling to pay one month, think very carefully about whether you will be able to afford to pay more the next month.
    You should only consider a rollover if:
    • your repayment difficulties are only temporary; and
    • you are sure you will be able to clear the loan in full the following month.
    2. Stopping your payments

    If your loan repayment due date is coming up, and you cannot afford to pay, you can take action to stop your payment being taken. The action you need to take will depend on the repayment method you agreed with the payday loan company.
    Direct debit or standing order

    A direct debit is an arrangement where you give a company or individual permission to take money regularly from your account. You can cancel a direct debit by writing to your bank or using your internet or telephone banking service. It is also a good idea to notify the payday loan company.
    A standing order is an instruction you give your bank to regularly pay a set amount to another account. You can instruct your bank to cancel a standing order by writing to it or using your internet or telephone banking service. The latest you can cancel a standing order is usually before the close of business on the working day before the payment is due to be made.
    Payment by cheque

    If you have written a cheque to the payday loan company for them to cash on the loan payment due date, you will need to cancel the cheque. You can do this by writing to your bank or using your telephone or internet banking service.
    AdviceGive your bank as much notice as possible if you need to cancel a payment. They may not be able to stop the payment to the payday loan company if they are only given very short notice.
    Continuous payment authority (CPA)

    This is a payment method often used by payday loan companies. They are sometimes called ‘recurring payments’. A CPA means you give the payday loan company your debit or credit card details, and permission for them to use the card to take payment or payments, to repay your loan.
    There has been a lot of confusion about CPAs, and the right to cancel them. If you have agreed to repay your loan in this way, you can take action to stop the payment being taken. See the following section ‘Continuous payment authority’.
    Back to top Phone us for advice 0808 808 4000
    Continuous payment authority (CPA)

    Continuous payment authorities are covered by the Payment Services Regulations 2009. These regulations set out how payment service providers, such as banks, building societies, credit card companies and so on, should operate payment systems.
    InformationKnow your rights
    The Financial Services Authority (FSA) has a simple guide to your rights and bank accounts. It's called Bank Accounts Know Your Rights, and can be found at www.fsa.gov.uk.
    The Payment Services Regulations make it clear that you can withdraw your permission for a payment, or series of payments, to be made using your debit or credit card. The regulations say the following about consent.
    • “Part 55 (3) The payer may withdraw its consent to a payment transaction at any time before the point at which the payment order can no longer be revoked under regulation 67.
    • Part 55 (4) Subject to regulation part 67 (3) to (5), the payer may withdraw its consent to the execution of a series of payment transactions at any time with the effect that any future payment transactions are not regarded as authorised for the purpose of this Part.”
    • Part 67 of the regulations deals with time limits for stopping payments. For continuous payment authorities, this will usually be the end of the business day before the payment is due.
    InformationCancelling or withdrawing?
    Technically, you need to withdraw your consent for payment to be taken, rather than cancel the CPA. However, the result is the same, so don't be put off if you hear different terms used.
    How do I stop my CPA?

    In the FSA booklet Bank Accounts Know Your Rights, it states.
    “In most cases, regular payments can be cancelled by telling the company taking the payments. However, you have the right to cancel them directly with your bank or card issuer by telling it that you have stopped permission for the payments. Your bank or card issuer must then stop them – it has no right to insist that you agree this first with the company taking the payments”.
    To stop your continuous payment authority: AdviceIf your payday loan company is hard to contact
    If you are finding it difficult to contact the payday loan company, for example, because they are an online company, contact your card issuer. Use the ‘Withdraw your continuous payment authority from your card issuer’ sample letter (B) at the end of this fact sheet. Your bank should stop the payment or payments being taken, even if you haven't told the payday loan company.
    AdviceDon't give up
    You do have the right to stop your continuous payment authority. Because there has been confusion in the past, you may find that some banks say you can't, but don't give up.
    If you withdraw your continuous payment authority and the money is still taken from your account, this is an ‘unauthorised transaction’. Your card issuer should give you an immediate refund. This should include any interest or charges added to your account because the payment was taken. See ‘Complaints’ later in this fact sheet.
    RememberGet advice
    Stopping payments to the payday loan company may help you pay your essential bills and living costs, but it does not mean you no longer owe the money. You need to get full advice on how to deal with the debt in the long-term. Phone us for advice.
    Back to top Phone us for advice 0808 808 4000
    Increasing your income

    You may have taken out a payday loan, or be thinking about it, because you are finding it difficult to manage. Lots of people get into debt because they are not getting all the help they are entitled to.
    Our ‘Dealing with your debts’ pack has a section on increasing your income. The pack is available at www.nationaldebtline.co.uk, or phone us for a copy.
    What benefits you might get will depend on your circumstances. Use an online benefits checker, for example: Alternatives to payday loans
    • Social Fund – this is a government scheme which offers a range of loans and grants. There are rules on who can apply. See our ‘Dealing with your debts’ pack at www.nationaldebtline.co.uk or phone us for advice.
    • Credit unions – if you have a local credit union, you may be able to get a loan from them. Usually they only give loans if you have saved a certain amount with them first. You can search for a credit union near you at www.abcul.org.
    • If you need money for food, furniture or white goods, see if there is a food bank or recycling project near you. You can search for a food bank at www.trusselltrust.org. For furniture, electrical items and white goods, try www.smarterbuys.org.uk. Your local advice agency, for example your citizens advice bureau, should also have details of furniture and white goods schemes in your area. See ‘Useful contacts’ towards the end of this fact sheet.
    Back to top Phone us for advice 0808 808 4000
    Complaints

    If you withdraw your continuous payment authority, and payment is still taken, your card issuer should give you an immediate refund. This should include any charges or interest added to your account because the payment was made. Use your card issuer's complaints process. If you still have difficulty, you can complain to the Financial Ombudsman Service (FOS). See ‘Useful contacts’ towards the end of this fact sheet.
    You can also complain to the payday loan company. If this is not successful, consider complaining to one of the payday loan trade associations. Not all payday loan companies will be members of each association. Contact the association to see if your lender is a member. See ‘Useful contacts’ towards the end of this fact sheet, or phone us for advice.
    InformationOffice of Fair Trading (OFT)
    The OFT will not take up your individual case, but they can collect evidence which may help them to decide whether to renew the lender's consumer credit licence in the future. Phone us for advice.
    AdviceDealing with your debts
    If you have other debts, it is important to get advice about how to deal with all of them. See our ‘Dealing with your debts’ pack at www.nationaldebtline.co.uk, or phone us for advice.
    My Money Steps

    My Money Steps is a secure, confidential, online debt advice service, available from National Debtline's website www.nationaldebtline.co.uk.
    If you would like to use My Money Steps you will need to enter some details about your circumstances, including your income and expenditure. My Money Steps can help you to work out a budget and give you personalised advice about what options you might want to consider to help you deal with your debts

    We hope this may be of some help. In respect of your sons benefit situation it may be possibkle for him to access our service for a benefit check. He can do this by ringing our telephone advice line no on 08444 77 10 10 and we may be able to arrange for an adviser to contact him to provide this.

    Kind regards

    Birmingham CAB
    Official CAB Representative
    I am an official representative of CAB. MSE has given permission for me to post in response to questions on the CAB Board. You can see my name on the companies with permission to post list. If you believe I’ve broken any rules please report my post to [email protected] as usual"
  • hethmar
    hethmar Posts: 10,678
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Car Insurance Carver!
    Forumite
    Im so sorry to hear about your son - Ive had similar circumstances

    If he is unable to pay for the flat then get his local CAB to contact the council for him to see if they can offer an emergency accommodation.

    Also ask about having his debts wiped out on a DRO.

    I think you need to sit down with him and an adviser face to face with all the paperwork to get this sorted properly, rather than online. There is so much to take in on the above posting and if your son is anything like mine, he wont read it or will think its all too much to handle. He will need to see there is a way out and someone who is able and experienced in handling all his problems.

    xxx
  • meg72
    meg72 Posts: 5,164
    First Anniversary First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    Forumite
    whitewing wrote: »
    I have never used them myself but I am sure Christians Against Poverty https://www.capuk.org/home/index.php

    will be used to this kind of situation.

    Is he being referred for counselling? That may help him, although it is usual to get anti-d's to stabilise the mood to get the most out of the counselling sessions. Keep an eye on him; sometimes cheering up can be an indicator that the situation is not actually getting better.

    Also, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2242259/Student-Toby-Thorn-killed-just-8-000-debt-wrote-suicide-note-BANK-letter.html has details of a website that may help.

    I don't want to scare you. There have been plenty of people on here who have had suicidal thoughts, but have, with help and support, addressed their issues and got a whole lot better.

    A really helpful post, I know to my cost that cheering up is often an indication that someone has actually decided to go ahead with a plan.

    OP my heart goes out to you
    Slimming World at target
  • CAB_Birmingham_representative
    CAB_Birmingham_representative Posts: 89 Organisation Representative
    edited 20 December 2012 at 3:46PM
    I do not know the details of the amount of debt you owe in total, or details of your sons income and expenditure; we need to know these figures so you can be advised correctly on other options that may be available to your son such as paying what you can afford,

    On the information provided you should contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau (Debt Adviser) who will prepare a Financial Statement with you and will be able to advise you on further options such as setting up a payment plan that is affordable and sustainable by your son

    Your son will have to cancel the payments from his bank )Direct Debits) while a payment plan is been set up

    Please be aware that Housing Benefit is changing. At the moment your son would only receive £55 per week if they had an entitlement to full Housing Benefit.

    The local CAB will be able to complete a Benefit Check and see if your son has any entitlement to part Housing Benefit or Council Tax Benefit
    Official CAB Representative
    I am an official representative of CAB. MSE has given permission for me to post in response to questions on the CAB Board. You can see my name on the companies with permission to post list. If you believe I’ve broken any rules please report my post to [email protected] as usual"
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.8K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.3K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.4K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 606.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.7K Life & Family
  • 247.2K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards