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    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 28th Oct 15, 9:15 PM
    • 1,944Posts
    • 2,938Thanks
    another casualty
    Quit everything , and start again over 50?
    • #1
    • 28th Oct 15, 9:15 PM
    Quit everything , and start again over 50? 28th Oct 15 at 9:15 PM
    Hello everyone. Haven't been on here for a few years, but this is my second thread tonight
    My situation: Lovely 2 bedroom maissonette in Twickenham , complete with garden and parking space .
    Know virtually nobody here now . (people moving away etc)

    Working : permanently employed Salary £24,500 + ot

    Debts: inc. mortgage £105,000 approx

    Property worth : £400,000 approx.

    I have had 7-8 years of hell , and I know I'm not the only one
    Haven't had a holiday for years. Been in debt for years, before getting a DMP in 2012.
    My friends are moving away / married etc.
    The place of employment , was a place I didn't want to be in for many years . Joined as a temp in the recession 2007 , and made perm 2009. Things have improved in one way, but are bad in another. For example, my backstabbing colleague and my self get on now since 2012. My boss retired , and now the Personnel officer
    is now my boss.She is rude and incompetent.
    My health suffered last year, and I now have Myasthenia Gravis and am slowly getting back on the mend via steroids.Oh, and I put my brother up for 5 years. He paid £400 a month, but not all at once and I was always chasing him. He was a nightmare , but I have my space back now
    So, with all of the above , I do wonder if I should just quit and start again.BTW, my boss criticised my appointments, I snapped and am now on a final warning for 2 years. I didn't swear/threaten etc. I just shouted as colleague to boss.
    My friends say that I cannot afford to live in London and should buy a place somewhere else and put a sum of money away.
    They even say that I could sell my flat and go travelling for a couple of months. Am I too old for this now?

    I must admit I am getting fed up of London , but I have lived there all of the time , mainly the Borough and Twickenham.
    I wouldn't want to move to anywhere else in London . Twickenham is very pricey as you know.

    Please feel free with suggestions you may have, and thanks for looking




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    Last edited by MSE Andrea; 31-08-2016 at 1:02 PM.
Page 3
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 1st Nov 15, 11:43 AM
    • 3,031 Posts
    • 5,058 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    We moved out of London to the West Country nearly 30 years ago and it was the best thing we ever did. However we did it as a family, me, OH and 2 young children and it was a job move for OH so he had a new job to go to and all moving expenses paid and sold a mediocre 3 bed house in the London area to a lovely 4 bed detached in a lovely Cornish town where we still live. It was still hard though leaving an area we had lived in all our lives and leaving friends and family behind and although OH had a job I did not but did find one fairly quickly once we moved.


    I would say you should definitely look into the jobs situation before deciding where to live. You say you are not well qualified but obviously do have lots of experience. Do you think you will find it difficult to find work in a new area?


    You could do as you suggest and sell up and move down to an area which you like and hopefully you already have a friend or two so you have some support but renting is expensive and could eat into your equity. You will find it impossible though to get a mortgage without a job so I don't think you have another option anyway. Why not look at going into a shared house for a while which is cheaper and could be a way of making new friends?


    Please bear in mind though that moving house is stressful at the best of times so consider if the upheaval of this could make your medical condition worse? If you are stressing about money though anyway it could make you better if this solves your debt issues. Long term though will this make your debt problems go away?
    Last edited by enthusiasticsaver; 01-11-2015 at 11:45 AM.
    Debt and mortgage free and saving for early retirement
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 1st Nov 15, 12:18 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    I suppose I 've reached a crossroads in my life . My health was always good. I'm from the old school of never taking time off work etc.

    I do love Twickenham , but I'm lost there these days . The pubs are not what they used to be .There are many , but some have the Jeremy Kyle factor.Then again , being skint means I haven't drunk in there for a couple of years. There are no music pubs around .
    If I could get rid of the overdraft , then I have breathing space to really think with a clearer head what to decide .
    I'm fed up being the opposite of what I used to be .( work/ go home/ work). I am thinking of dating again , maybe that's the answer.
    I sound so sad
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Nov 15, 3:17 AM
    • 9,215 Posts
    • 51,931 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Another casualty.....

    Tbh your username says it all about your current mindset. I think you need to change it into something a little more positive and upbeat.......

    And yes you do sound sad, and no I don't think dating is the answer.

    You need to sort yourself out first because the vibes You currently give out don't exactly make you sound like a babe magnet........

    Actually - all joking apart - you are in a very strong position.

    I think you just can't see the wood for the trees.

    Ive run some numbers and your situation is actually very rosy.

    £300k equity is a cracking good place to start from if you are prepared to move out of London and seek new pastures.

    London is not the be all and end all of existence - especially if you can't even afford to go out for a drink in your local. There are lots of areas across the UK that shape up better and where you will have a much better quality of life than that which you are currently enduring.

    By your own admission you are not really living, you are just existing, doing a job that gives you no satisfaction and living in a place that gives you no joy. For what. You are the wrong side of 50 suffering from ill health, working long hours and only just scraping by.

    You can do so much better than that but it would entail some upheaval.

    Anyway - the numbers.........

    £300k could buy you a nice liittle house for around £150k, mortgage free.

    £150k invested at 3 per cent gives you £4500 per year.

    A part time job say - 25 hours at £7.20 - the new minimum wage from next April - would bring in £9360 pa before tax.

    Your gross income would be £13860, which if you are mortgage free would be plenty.

    Let's assume around £100 per month council tax, £150 for utilities and water rates, £12 for tv licence, £30 for house insurance, total £292, call it £300 for good measure. Add food and miscellaneous, say £200 and you are looking at £500 a month for essential day to day living.

    That's only £6k per annum. Plenty left for a little car, phone, broadband, entertainment and holidays.

    You could be sitting very pretty. No stress, no money worries, and working fewer hours so that you can rest and manage your health better. You might even have some time and energy to play music again, maybe even - in the words of Rod Stewart "find a rock and roll band, that needs a helping hand".........

    You really are quite fortunate in that because you have assets you can put to good use you have choice and opportunities.

    My advice?

    Sell up, get out of London and start living.

    Civilisation doesn't end at Watford Gap.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 02-11-2015 at 3:36 AM.
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 2nd Nov 15, 8:44 AM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    I love your total honesty lesson learned. I can't disagree with anything you said
    I've just gotta find the right area to go to . Very daunting on my own .
    You'd think with the equity I have , I wouldn't be struggling for help with my overdraft .
    Next year could be a very decisive year for my future .
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Nov 15, 11:02 AM
    • 9,215 Posts
    • 51,931 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Good morning AC.

    I refuse to call You Another Casualty - it smacks of victim hood ...........

    time to change that, for once and for all.

    Ok so you have been dealt a duff card with your illness, but it is only a game changer not a death sentence.

    My late husband was given a death sentence when he was 49 and he stretched it out till he was 57. He died just 15 mo ths ago so I know all about being forced to make a fresh start and how difficult IT canbe to build a new life,

    One thing in all this......you are not alone.

    You arent the first and you certainly won't the last.

    I'm busy today but would be happy to post later to continue our discussion with some ideas of how to get you started on your journey to a new and better life, as indeed im sure will other posters.

    If you've truly had your "lightbulb moment" then we can help you move forward.

    Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to grasp that nettle and start building a new future.

    Your first task is to change that depressing user name and drop the mantle of "victim hood".

    I did this.....I decided to drop the mantle of "widowhood" and start thinking of myself as someone who just happens to be single. It sounds daft but it makes a difference.

    With a Positive Mental Attitude (pma) you can move mountains.

    And.........before anyone comments..........no I'm not dating and Ihave no intention of dating.

    I'm just rebuilding my life, one step at a time........

    So AC get your thinking cap on. Accept my challenge to find a more positive user name and change that downbeat mindset.

    As Del Boy would say "The worlds your lobster".

    It's up to you now, change and adapt or stagnate.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 02-11-2015 at 11:05 AM.
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 2nd Nov 15, 7:55 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    Well lesson learned . First of all, very sorry for your loss. You seem to be handling things really well. I'm rooting for you all the way

    It's amazing how people can look on the Internet .
    The reason I use this username ( yeah, it is a bit morbid isn't it?), is because I thought that when you are down on your luck and you go to a money forum asking for help , you don't want to sound like Michael macintyre or somebody ott . If you could tell me how to change it , I will

    The ironic thing is , I'm the opposite of how I seem on here . It takes a lot to get me down . It just that, I am stuck and am peed off at this precise time .BTW; my previous names were 'big brother worries, and Benny Hawkins . Obvious reason for the latter .
    I lost my passwords for the other 2. So for now I am AC .

    Anyway, I had a strange/ dangerous thought. What if I just sold my place, put my stuff in storage , go away for say a month, then return and live in bed and breakfasts for a while ?
    Please keep suggestions coming
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Nov 15, 10:09 PM
    • 9,215 Posts
    • 51,931 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Ok. AC it is then.

    Staying in temp accommodation is exactly what I would suggest.....

    I would Not advocate buying a property in an area you are unfamiliar with, better to rent for a few months first and get to know the place a bit.

    I advise this both from my personal experience and as someone who spent most of my working life selling houses for a living. Better to take your time and make sure you know exactly where you want to live so as to avoid making a costly mistake. Yes it means two moves but it diminishes risk.

    It might be cheaper to rent an unfurnished property though rather than Shell out for B&B and seperate storage fees. You need to cost it out.

    As for that holiday, why not.......it might do you good, help clear your head and give you some thinking time.

    I am actually off on holiday this coming Saturday, 33 days cruising around the Caribbean. My first proper holiday in over ten years. I spent 9 years caring for my husband so I think I have earned this.

    If you have been dealing with illness too for a long time then a good holiday might be just the tonic you need.

    It may sound self indulgent but I think holidays are a perfect "time out" - they give me thinking time and I often find that this increases my creativity and productivity.

    So yes, once you have sold up then by all means take some time out to plot your next move.

    In the meantime, get your flat ready for market, tackle that clutter and get the paint rollers out, make it look good to get the best selling price you can.

    The more "profit" you can make on the deal the better your financial future. It might even be enough to fund a really good holiday.

    In the meantime make sure you indulge your passion for music. If you can't afford to go to gigs at the moment, you can still listen to music and you could even start playing that guitar.......

    All the best on your new journey.

    Ps just a thought, can you make a bit of extra money playing somewhere, pubs, restaurants etc. Maybe give guitar lessons......
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 02-11-2015 at 10:14 PM.
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 3rd Nov 15, 8:45 AM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    Good morning LL . Hope you have a great holiday, you need it
    This illness I have ( myasthenia Gravis ) , is rare and confusing.
    I put it all down to stress . I'm on steroids at the moment ,one is being reduced and the nhs have been brilliant . This has been my worst year ever;mum dying/ myasthenia / final written warning at work for shouting at my boss ( who is personnel) / financial problems.
    Apart from visiting my mum in Ireland , I've had no real holiday for years either .
    I don't ask for much from life . All I want to do , is have a bit of cash in my pocket
    I just want to go to a gym again , without my work routine getting in the way /,have a few weekend breaks a year ( and a holiday. Why not ?),and possibly work part time .
    For this , I've gotta move . I started painting in May . The condition I have makes me very tired / lethargic . Something that infuriates me.
    I haven't played the bass guitar for months . I'm not kid enough to teach unfortunately , I just play for fun if I move to a new area, I'd join a band as an outlet etc.
    if I did sell my flat , and went in a b& b , if I was still working the wages should pay for that ? I could keep the job till I'm really sure?
    So many questions
    Must change my username ...
    • alyxzandra
    • By alyxzandra 3rd Nov 15, 9:01 AM
    • 90 Posts
    • 204 Thanks
    alyxzandra
    Good morning LL . Hope you have a great holiday, you need it
    This illness I have ( myasthenia Gravis ) , is rare and confusing.
    I put it all down to stress . I'm on steroids at the moment ,one is being reduced and the nhs have been brilliant . This has been my worst year ever;mum dying/ myasthenia / final written warning at work for shouting at my boss ( who is personnel) / financial problems.
    Apart from visiting my mum in Ireland , I've had no real holiday for years either .
    I don't ask for much from life . All I want to do , is have a bit of cash in my pocket
    I just want to go to a gym again , without my work routine getting in the way /,have a few weekend breaks a year ( and a holiday. Why not ?),and possibly work part time .
    For this , I've gotta move . I started painting in May . The condition I have makes me very tired / lethargic . Something that infuriates me.
    I haven't played the bass guitar for months . I'm not kid enough to teach unfortunately , I just play for fun if I move to a new area, I'd join a band as an outlet etc.
    if I did sell my flat , and went in a b& b , if I was still working the wages should pay for that ? I could keep the job till I'm really sure?
    So many questions
    Must change my username ...
    Originally posted by another casualty
    I am sorry things have not been good. Has your work sent you to occupational health? As you have a long term illness, you are more likely covered under the equalities act 2010 and they have to make reasonable adjustments for you.
    Husband's LBM: 26 September 2012
    Started Stepchange Jan 2013 - DFD 2024
    Debt to creditors: £48216
    Original debt was £67,000
    On DMP - now £31917
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 3rd Nov 15, 9:50 AM
    • 9,215 Posts
    • 51,931 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Good morning AC

    You sound brighter already.

    You are asking yourself all the right questions, a sure sign your brain is looking for solutions.

    You'll find them.

    Just take your time, the answers will come to you. Just take it step by step.

    Do flAts sell easily where you are.

    Why not make a start by getting a few EA s round for some valuations. Kick start the process to get you motivated and get the momentum going. You don't need to sell immediately. Could you aim to,get the flat on the market next Spring say beginning of April

    I know your illness causes fatigue so you will need to pace yourself so take your time, but that would give you almost 5 months to get it all together.

    I have what I call the 1 Hour a day rule.

    When faced with a large task that threatens to overwhelm break it down and give it 1 HR a day. You can work wonders in an hour. Then rest.

    Get the clutter under control first, I'm sure you will feel better and it's an easy fix. Can you sell some of it.

    Remember the old adage..

    How do you eat an elephant........one bite at a time.

    Sorry to hear about your mum.

    I lost mine in March. So I lost both my husband and my mum within 7 months of each other.

    Yes it was rough but I console myself that that their suffering is over, they were both "ready to go" - they both were very ill and they both had had enough.

    Yes I miss them but life is still good. I have two fabulous sons and a new future DIL. A wedding to look forward to, a nice holiday.

    After my holiday it will be Christmas and then in the New Year it will be time for me to start househunting and then maybe look at a couple of little sideline business to keep me off the streets.

    Going to the gym would be good for you if you can try and find a way. If not can you do some exercise at home for a while.

    I think in your circumstances a B&B might work better for you, you can carry on working, stay in the B&B whilst you start searching for an area to live in. Then you could rent for a while in the new area before you commit to a house purchase.

    Re where to live.

    Obviously you will need to find work at some point so maybe try and pick an area where work is available. Depends what you want. Do you Still want a career or just a little something to keep you ticking over so you can pursue your own oersinal interests.

    Do you have skills, hobbies or interests that you could turn into little money spinners. That way you could just work part time and then have a couple of sideline money makers.

    You need to,think about not exacerbating your condition although once you get rid of the stress in your life you will probably find it improves anyway and that your energy levels will return to near normal in time.

    Also think about cultural activities in the new area, fun things to do. You like music, you like gigging, you like music pubs, so maybe don't go too rural. Do you drive.

    A lot to think about.

    But try not to be overwhelmed. You have assets, therefore you have choices. You are not trapped forever.

    There's a big wide world out there, just waiting for you. There are opportunities you don't even know about yet, adventures to be experienced, people to meet, places to go, fun to be had, music to be played.

    My husband died 16 months ago. Years of looking after my husband took its toll on my health, as I'm sure you can appreciate. My back was wrecked, my adrenal system shot to pieces. Gradually I've turned it round.

    I take my time making sure I get plenty of sleep and building in rest breaks, I have overhauled my diet, exercise a bit each day. I feel better already, finally ready to undertake the rigours of a holiday. A year ago I wasn't even well enough to cope with a holiday.

    You can do it, one step at a time.

    Remember the elephant.
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 3rd Nov 15, 10:15 AM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    I am sorry things have not been good. Has your work sent you to occupational health? As you have a long term illness, you are more likely covered under the equalities act 2010 and they have to make reasonable adjustments for you.
    Originally posted by alyxzandra
    No, the place I'm working at is struggling . It has a dads army feel to it . My old boss retired. The personnel person is my boss.wtf??
    Sorry for the wording, but you cannot run a dept. with that inexperience
    • maria3104
    • By maria3104 3rd Nov 15, 10:45 AM
    • 908 Posts
    • 9,481 Thanks
    maria3104
    Hi

    I have read your whole thread. Firstly I am very sorry for your loss of Mum and for your illness. I honestly think you should declutter, redecorate and then take a year to make your life future decisions. You have had massive emotional trauma, actually coming at you from all sides, home, health, work. It is an enormous strain on you physically and mentally.

    You love your flat. You are not in an urgent financial crisis. Take time, continue to work whilst advising employers that they must make adjustments for your disability. Have lovely weekends away in Poole exploring.
    Make lists of pros and cons for everything that even flashes as a possibility across your mind.
    I live in S Wales and love it, but it might not be the ideal place for you. It is you that matters here, it is your life, explore your options and I am sending you lots of luck and positive thoughts that everything works out well for you.

    Maria.
    April GC target £300
    • Brightspark87
    • By Brightspark87 3rd Nov 15, 10:55 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 3,765 Thanks
    Brightspark87
    I think the job market outside London is still pretty tough for anything other than minimum wage jobs. I would be very wary of resigning without something to move to unless you are sure your skills are in demand. Sorry to be boring.
    Originally posted by When the going gets tough
    Not true! Job market here in the West Country is the best I have ever seen (I work in Finance) but also in retail (where DH works). I took a pay cut but chance for bonuses (much higher than I ever had before) to move from London, he got a pay rise!

    It can be done! x
    Sealed Pot Challenge 373 - Target £300- Total £56.78
    married in 2014
    Paid off all Catalogues 10.10.2014

    Debt Free July 2016
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 3rd Nov 15, 11:58 AM
    • 9,215 Posts
    • 51,931 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Same here. I'm in the East Midlands - the local economy is doing
    well.

    I live in Derbyshire, it's beautiful and affordable.

    Derby itself is a thriving city with theatres, restaurants, great pubs, a good music and arts scene. oF course certain parts of the city are a bit shabby but all cities have their rough edges but it is cosmopolitan and vibrant.

    it's not all grim oooop north.

    And all parts of the U.K. Have plenty to offer.

    London is fab but there's no way I could afford to live there, not if I wanted a decent quality of life.

    Ive got the best of both worlds. A great place to live, money to spare and a fast rail link to London......

    I even have a senior rail card to make visits to the big city even more affordable.

    What's not to like.
    • macman
    • By macman 3rd Nov 15, 12:10 PM
    • 40,391 Posts
    • 16,388 Thanks
    macman
    You could downsize and still remain in SW London. Buy a property for around £300K as a cash buyer (there are cheaper areas than Twickenham). You would then be debt free and mortgage free. You don't say what proportion of your £105K debt is mortgage, but I'm puzzled as to how you are currently servicing that on just £24.5K pa?
    No free lunch, and no free laptop
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 3rd Nov 15, 12:52 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    Hi

    I have read your whole thread. Firstly I am very sorry for your loss of Mum and for your illness. I honestly think you should declutter, redecorate and then take a year to make your life future decisions. You have had massive emotional trauma, actually coming at you from all sides, home, health, work. It is an enormous strain on you physically and mentally.

    You love your flat. You are not in an urgent financial crisis. Take time, continue to work whilst advising employers that they must make adjustments for your disability. Have lovely weekends away in Poole exploring.
    Make lists of pros and cons for everything that even flashes as a possibility across your mind.
    I live in S Wales and love it, but it might not be the ideal place for you. It is you that matters here, it is your life, explore your options and I am sending you lots of luck and positive thoughts that everything works out well for you.

    Maria.
    Originally posted by maria3104
    Thank you so much maria . Trouble is, I am in a financial crisis, which is why I need to move .
    Refused help with mortgage . Looking at the probability of going past my overdraft limit. On dmp. Can't remortgage ,so something's gotta give
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 3rd Nov 15, 12:56 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    You could downsize and still remain in SW London. Buy a property for around £300K as a cash buyer (there are cheaper areas than Twickenham). You would then be debt free and mortgage free. You don't say what proportion of your £105K debt is mortgage, but I'm puzzled as to how you are currently servicing that on just £24.5K pa?
    Originally posted by macman
    Doubt if I can get something for that . I'm surviving on an overdraft which I'll probably exceed before payday , hence the 'move'.
    Mortgage approx £75 000/ homeowner loan approx£14500
    Rest is dmp .
    thanks
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 3rd Nov 15, 1:05 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    What seems to be at the back of my mind ; grow some balls
    Sell flat, bed and breakfast for a couple of months, keep job but play poorly and take a couple of months off for holiday and to look for best area to live , use this times to also join gym for about 3 months , then relocate and get a part time job if poss. Where to stay in b&b is another issue( somewhere near work ). A place in Poole would be around £230,000.

    Please keep ideas coming
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 4th Nov 15, 12:32 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    Had a chat with one of my best friends just now. He is a management acct.
    He can see no wrong in what I'm intending to do.
    He told me that I have to do it sometime , and that I'm fighting a losing battle.
    The last 2 nights I've slept well. I was blaming steroids and worry for lack of sleep .
    I suppose the end of jan would be the time to put flat on mkt .
    Hopefully , it will sell in the spring and my adventures will begin .
    • another casualty
    • By another casualty 4th Nov 15, 12:41 PM
    • 1,944 Posts
    • 2,938 Thanks
    another casualty
    One other thing ( and a major part of my decision ), my health;
    2007 I was the fittest I've ever been . ( I got made redundant dec2006).
    Through change of circumstances and upheaval , I have gained high blood pressure in 2011( I refused. Tablets initially ), and loads of weight has been put on . Every time I joined a gym, I couldn't commit properly because of my work rota . Early shift - fine, late shift-cant commit ,plus work colleague wants me to change shifts a lot .
    Haven't the funds now, but when flat is sold , a 3 month gym membership and personal training sessions( specialising in yoga/Pilates ) is probably the first thing on the agenda . As the Americans say ; 'I will kick !!!!!' ,)
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